Iiseti ezi-3 zeZakhono eziBalulekileyo zeMpilo yakho yeNgqondo eyiyo

Yintoni “Impilo Yengqondo”?

Ngaba ungathanda ukuphucula impilo yakho yengqondo? Andiqondi ukuba abantu abaninzi bangaphendula ngo “hayi” kulo mbuzo. Kuhlala kunento oza kusebenza kuyo, nokuba ujongane ngcono nokudakumba, ukunciphisa uxinzelelo olungafunekiyo, okanye, kwinqaku elonwabisayo, ukufunda ukunandipha izinto ezintle ebomini.

Kodwa ntoni ngu "Impilo yengqondo" ngokuchanekileyo? Uninzi lweengcali zempilo yengqondo ziyavuma ukuba "impilo yengqondo" ingaphezulu kokungabikho kokugula kwengqondo. Umbutho wezeMpilo weHlabathi (i-WHO), umzekelo, ugxininisa ukuba impilo, kubandakanya impilo yengqondo, "... yimeko yempilo yomzimba, yengqondo neyentlalontle kwaye ayisiyiyo nje ukungabikho kwesifo okanye ukugula."

Zininzi iinkcazo eziluncedo ngempilo yengqondo (ndiza kwabelana ezimbalwa apha ngezantsi), kodwa eyona ndiyithandayo yile:

Umntu ophilileyo engqondweni ngumntu onokufunda kwizinto ezidlulileyo, aphile ngoku, kwaye acwangcise ikamva.

Ndiyivile le ngcaciso yezempilo yengqondo evela kunjingalwazi wefilosofi endandisebenza naye ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-25 eyadlulayo. Ingcaciso yakhe ayilibaleki-ubuncinci, kuyo yonke le minyaka, khange ndiyilibale.

Apha ngezantsi ndidwelise izakhono ezinokukunceda "ufunde kwizinto zangaphambili, uphile ngoku, kwaye ucwangcisele ikamva." Njengoko ujonga uluhlu, cinga ngeendawo osele ugqwese kuzo emva koko ukhethe isakhono esinye onokuthi usebenzele kuso esinokukuzisela ukuzithemba ngakumbi, uxolo lwengqondo, okanye ubudlelwane bemvisiswano.

Isakhono sokusetha 1: "Funda kwixa elidlulileyo"

Ukuze "ufunde kwixa elidlulileyo," unokufuna izakhono zokuzibonakalisa, Ezi zilandelayo:

• Imfesane yakho: Imfesane yokuzinceda ikunceda ujongane neengxaki kunye nokudana ngaphandle kokudimazeka okanye ukugxeka. Ukongeza, imfesane yakho ikuvumela ukuba uxolele i-Self Self yakho ngeempazamo okanye ukungafezeki.

• Ukukhula kwengqondo: "Ingqondo yokukhula" ikunika ukomelela ukuba ufunde kuzo zombini ukusilela kunye nempumelelo.

  
  

• Ukuzazi: Xa usazi amandla akho, ubuthathaka, ixabiso, kunye nomdla wakho, unokuzazi kwaye uzibonakalise ngokwakho kwaye wenze ukhetho olufanelekileyo lomsebenzi.

• Ulwalamano lobukrelekrele: Ngohlalutyo oluncinci, ungafumanisa ukuba yintoni eyenza ubudlelwane buwanelise kuwe kunye nento onokuyenza ukwakha ubudlelwane obungcono.
• Umbulelo: Ukugxila kwinto onombulelo ngayo kunokuphakamisa umoya wakho, phakathi kwezinye izibonelelo ezininzi.

Ukuze uhlakulele ezi zakhono zokuzibonakalisa, kufuneka ube nesicwangciso sokusebenza. Izicwangciso ngokubanzi zinokubandakanya: ukubona ugqirha, ukuthatha iklasi, ukufunda incwadi ngesihloko, okanye ukuzibandakanya rhoqo, ezinje ngezinto "ezintathu ezilungileyo" okanye "impumelelo encinci".

Isakhono sokusetha 2: "Phila ngoku"

"Ukuphila ngoku" kuthetha izinto ezimbini: (1) ukukwazi ukonwabela umzuzu wangoku, kunye (2) nokukwazi ukuphendula ngobuchule kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo ngoku, nokuba "intle" okanye "imbi." Eli nqaku lempilo yengqondo lifuna izakhono zokucinga ngaphezu koko.

Obo buchule bunokubandakanya:

• Ukuphumla: Ukufunda ukuphumla kunye nokunandipha umzuzu wangoku kwenza ukuba ubomi bube nentsingiselo.
• Inkqubo "Yokubamba, Celomngeni, Ukutshintsha" Ukuthatha iingcinga ezingancediyo, ukuzicel 'umngeni, kunye nokutshintsha ngabom ezo ngcinga xa ziphinda zivela sisakhono esifunekayo kwisithethe sonyango lokuziphatha (i-CBT).
• Ukuqaphela iiNgcinga zakho ngaphandle kokuziThathela ingqalelo: Ukuthatha isigqibo sokungakholelwa okwenzakalisayo, ukugxeka, kunye neengcinga ezingekho ngqiqweni kuzisa ukukhululeka kwengqondo.
• Ukuzithemba: Ukuhlonipha iimfuno zamalungelo abanye ngelixa uhlonipha ezakho iimfuno kunye namalungelo kuya kukunceda uvakalise izimvo zakho, uthi hayi, kwaye usete imida.
• Ukunikela Ingqalelo Kwizizwe Zakho Zengqondo: Ukuqonda iimvakalelo, iingcinga, kunye neemeko zomzimba, ezinje ngokudinwa, kuya kukunceda ukuba wazi nini xa ufuna i-HALT-ungaze uzivumele ukuba ulambe kakhulu, unomsindo, ulilolo, okanye udinwe.
• Ukuthathela ingqalelo imeko-bume yakho: Ukuskena okukungqonge ingozi, amathuba, izihlobo, kunye nobuhle kukunceda ukuba uphile kwaye uphumelele.

Izicwangciso ezithile zokuhlakulela izakhono zokuqonda zinokubandakanya iiklasi zoqeqesho lokuqinisekisa, unyango lwezibini, ukuthatha ikhefu rhoqo, ukuzikhathalela okunempilo, ukucamngca, ukuzilolonga, kunye namaxesha ngamaxesha okuphawula umhlaba okujikelezileyo.

Isakhono sokumisela isi-3: "Cwangcisela ikamva"

"Ukucwangcisela ikamva" kuya kubandakanya izakhono zokucwangcisa ukukunceda uhlangane neemfuno zeKamva lakho, ezinje:

• Ukuchonga amaxabiso.
• Ukuseta iinjongo: Ukubeka iinjongo zobuqu jibe kunye neenqobo zakho kunye nenjongo yenjongo kunokubonelela ngesikhokelo sezenzo zakho kwaye kukuncede ubeke izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka.
• Umsebenzi onentsingiselo: Ukukhokelwa ziinqobo kunye neenjongo, unokucwangcisa ikhondo lomsebenzi owonelisayo.
• Ukuzibamba: Ukukhetha ukuzisa amaxabiso kunye neenjongo zakho eziphezulu engqondweni ngaphambi kokwenza isigqibo kuya kwenza amandla akho.
• Ukwamkelwa: Ukuqonda iinyani zokuguga nokufa kunye nokufikelela kwinqanaba lokwamkelwa kwezo zinto ziyakukunceda ujongane nemicimbi eyimfuneko, ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ayimnandi, njengokucwangciswa kwemali kunye "nokucoca ukufa."
• Ilifa: Ukwazi amaxabiso akho kunokukunceda uthathe isigqibo sokuba uza kuba nenxaxheba njani kwindawo ohlala kuyo okanye ushiye ilifa elinentsingiselo.

Izicwangciso ezithile zokufezekisa ezi njongo zinokubandakanya: ukusebenza nomqeqeshi wezempilo, ukufumana ingcebiso kwezomthetho, ukufunda ukuseta i-SMART (ethe ngqo, enentsingiselo, ejolise kumanyathelo, eyiyo, esekwe kwixesha) iinjongo, kunye nokuphononongwa rhoqo kwezigqibo ozenzileyo ukubona yintoni engakusebenzelanga.

Ezinye iinkcazo eziluncedo

Le nkcazo ingentla "yempilo yengqondo" ayifezekanga. Okokuqala, ayibeki kugxininiso ngokwaneleyo kwindima yokuziphatha okuhle kwimpilo yengqondo. Kwakhona, "ulwalamano lwempilo" lubaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yengqondo, ukonwaba, kunye nokuphila ixesha elide kangangokuba kufanelekile ukuba lube loludidi.

UMartin Seligman, odla ngokubizwa ngokuba nguyise wesayikholoji elungileyo, uyagxininisa ubudlelwane kwithiyori yakhe yempilo yengqondo, okanye "ukuchuma." Ngokokubona kwakhe, impilo-ntle ixhomekeke kwisiseko se "PERMA": iimvakalelo ezintle, ukuzibandakanya, ubudlelwane, ubudlelwane kunye nofezekiso. (Ngolwazi oluthe kratya kwithiyori yakhe yentlalontle, cofa apha.)

Umbutho wezeMpilo weHlabathi ubonelela ngenkcazo egxininisa intlalontle kunye namandla abantu:

Impilo yengqondo ichazwa njengesimo sentlalontle apho wonke umntu eqonda ubuchule anabo, anokujamelana noxinzelelo lobomi obuqhelekileyo, anokusebenza ngokuvelisa iziqhamo nangokufanelekileyo, kwaye akwazi ukwenza igalelo kuye okanye kuluntu oluhlala kulo.

Okokugqibela, kwabanye abaphandi, impilo yengqondo ilula nje ngokuthi "uzive wonwabile ngawe kunye nobomi bakho kwaye ulungile kwinto ethile."

Ngamafutshane: Ungaba Njani Nengqondo Esempilweni?

Ungayifumana njani ingqondo esempilweni? Qaphela ukuba: 1) Oyena mntu ujongene nempilo yakho yengqondo nguwe; 2) Thatha isigqibo ngendawo yobomi efuna umsebenzi; kunye 3) Yenza okuthile ngayo. Lilonke, yazi ukuba "impilo yengqondo" ayisiyiyo nje imeko yengqondo; siseti yezakhono ezinokufundwa nangubani na.

(c) Meg Selig, 2019.