Iindlela ezi-4 eziQinisekisiweyo zokuzibonisa uthando ngakumbi

Nokuba singabaphathi abanamandla aphezulu okanye abazali abahlala ekhaya, ukuzigxeka yinto exhaphakileyo kuthi. Ngapha koko sihlala sicinga ngokuzigxeka njengesitshixo sokuziphucula. Siwela umbono wokuba ukuzigxeka kusityhala ukuba senze ngcono kwaye siphile kwimigangatho ephezulu-kodwa asinakuba siphosakele ngakumbi. Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukugxeka kuyafana ukuzilimaza . Ngokwenyani Ibuhlungu ukusebenza kwethu, imveliso, kunye nentlalontle.

Abasetyhini ngokukodwa bahlala begxeka kakhulu. Baye bathande ukuzigxeka xa besilele, kwaye babonise impumelelo yabo kwabanye abantu nakwiimeko. (Amadoda athambekele ekwenzeni ngokuchaseneyo-nokusola iimeko ukuba bayasilela kwaye bathi impumelelo yabo ibangelwe ngabo.) Esi sesinye sezizathu zokuba abasetyhini basoloko besilela ukufuna ukunyuselwa.

Nazi iindlela zophando ezibonisa ukuba ukugxeka kukubamba umva:

• Ikugcina ujolise kwinto engalunganga ngawe, ngaloo ndlela unciphisa ukuzithemba kwakho.
• Ikwenza woyike ukusilela okuyenzakalisa intsebenzo yakho, kukwenza uncame ngokulula, kwaye kukhokelele ekuthathweni kwezigqibo okungalunganga.
• Ikwenza ukuba unganyamezeli xa ujongene nokusilela kwaye kuncinci amathuba okuba ufunde kwiimpazamo.

Izibonelelo ze ukuzenzela imfesane , "ithambile" njengoko ingavakala loo nto, ixhaswa yidatha enzima-uninzi lwayo luqulunqwe ngumphandi onguvulindlela uKristin Neff. Imfesane yakho inxulunyaniswe nomninzi wezibonelelo. Kuthetha ukuziphatha ngendlela obuya kwenza ngayo kumhlobo wakho ngamaxesha osilelo okanye entlungu-ngokuqonda nangobubele. Kuthetha ukukhumbula isicatshulwa sika-Alexander Pope esithi "ukusilela ngumntu" sonke siyazenza iimpazamo. Kwaye kuthetha ukuba ukhumbula iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga ngaphandle kokuchonga ngaphezulu kubo. Imfesane yakho ayithethi ukuba uzonwabise kakhulu kodwa ayibandakanyi ukuzibetha kungabikho nto.

Nantsi indlela onovelwano ngayo onokukunika ngayo umda owongezelelweyo:

• Yonyusa inkuthazo kunye namandla.
• Izisa umbono ophucukileyo kwaye ke kungcono ukwenza izigqibo.
• Ikwenza ukuba womelele ngakumbi: Uzibuyela ngokulula ngakumbi kwimeko yokusilela kwaye ufunde kwiimpazamo zakho.
• Kukwenza ube nobukrelekrele ngakumbi ngokwasemoyeni kwaye ke oko kuphucula ubudlelwane bakho.
• Iyakunciphisa amanqanaba oxinzelelo kwaye inciphise iimvakalelo zokonganyelwa.
• Ikhulisa impilo yakho yengqondo kwaye inciphise uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo.
• Iphucula impilo yakho.

Ukufaka imfesane ngokwakho kunokuziqhelanisa. Nazi iindlela ezi-4 eziqinisekisiweyo zokwenza oku:

1. Qaphela intetho yakho. UNeff ucebisa ukuba ngamaxesha osilelo okanye umceli mngeni, ukuqaphela indlela othetha ngayo kunokukunceda uthintele ukugxeka kwaye ubeke endaweni yakho ngovelwano. Umzekelo, endaweni yokuthetha izinto ezinje, “ngendiyenze njani le nto? Andinangqondo! ” Ungathi, “bendinomzuzwana wokungabikho kwengqondo kwaye kulungile. Inokwenzeka nakubani na; ayonto inkulu leyo. ”

2. Zibhalele ileta. Xa iimvakalelo zakho zininzi, uNeff ucebisa ukuba ubhalele ileta ngokungathi ubhalela umhlobo wakho. Masithi wenze impazamo ebiza imali eninzi kwaye uziva uzicaphukela. Isenokuziva idiniwe okanye ingaqhelekanga ekuqaleni, kodwa bhala ileta ngokungathi ububhalela umntu omthandayo owenze impazamo efanayo. Amagama akho afanele ukuthuthuzela kwaye angahlaseli, aqheleke kwimeko kunokuba ayivuthele ngaphandle. Inani lezifundo libonisa ukuba ukubhala malunga neemvakalelo zakho kunokunceda ukuzilawula.

3. Phuhlisa ibinzana lokubonisa uvelwano. UNeff ucebisa ukuba uphuhlise imantra okanye ibinzana onokuzenzela lona onokuthi ujike kulo kwiimeko ezinzima, ukuze ukwazi ukujongana nabo uzolile kwaye unobabalo. Eyakhe yile: “Ngumzuzu wokubandezeleka lo. Ukubandezeleka yinxalenye yobomi. Ngamana ndingaba nobubele kum kulo mzuzu; ndingazinika imfesane endiyifunayo. ”

4. Yenza uluhlu lwemibulelo yemihla ngemihla. Bhala phantsi izinto ezintlanu oziva unombulelo ngazo yonke imihla. Kwakhona, oku kunokuvakala kulula kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, lo msebenzi omfutshane kakhulu ubonakalisile ukuvelisa iziphumo ezinamandla nezihlala ixesha elide. Ukwandisa imfesane yakho, ekupheleni kosuku ngalunye, bhala phantsi izinto ezintlanu onelunda ngazo ngokufezekisa okanye iimpawu ezintlanu ezintle ozibona kuwe.

Ithathwe kwincwadi yam entsha ethi The HAPPINESS TRACK nguEmma Seppälä, Ph.D. Ilungelo lokushicilela © 2016 nguEmma Seppälä, Ph.D. Isetyenziswe ngemvume kaHarperOne, umbhalo weHarperCollins Publishers.

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