Amanyathelo ama-8 okuphucula ukuzithemba kwakho

Umxholo

• Ukuzithemba Kubalulekile Ukufunda
• Isizathu esinye seSizathu sokuba abantu bakufumanise kunzima ukuba nothando

Xa kuziwa kukuxabiseka kwakho, lunye kuphela uluvo olubaluleke ngokwenene-olwakho. Kwaye naloo mntu kufuneka avavanywe ngononophelo; sithande ukuba ngabagxeki bethu abangqwabalala.

UGlenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D, umbhali we Incwadi Yokuzithemba , ichaza ukuzithemba okusempilweni njengombono osengqiqweni, noxabiso ngawe. Ubhala athi, "Ukuxabiseka komntu ngaphandle kwemiqathango kuthatha ukuba umntu ngamnye wethu uzalelwe enawo onke amandla afunekayo ukuze aphile ngokuvelisa iziqhamo, nangona wonke umntu enezakhono ezixubeneyo, ezikumanqanaba ahlukeneyo ophuhliso." Ugxininisa ukuba ixabiso eliphambili lizimele ngaphandle ngaphandle kwexabiso lentengiso, njengobutyebi, imfundo, impilo, inqanaba - okanye indlela umntu aphathwe ngayo.

Abanye bazulazula kwihlabathi-kunye nobudlelwane-bekhangela nayiphi na into encinci yobungqina bokuqinisekisa iinkolelo zabo zokuzimela. Ngokufana nejaji kunye nejaji, bahlala bebeka ityala kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bazigweba ebomini babo.

Oku kulandelayo ngamanyathelo asibhozo onokuwathatha ukuze uzive ubalulekile.

1. Khumbula.

Asinakho ukutshintsha into ukuba asiqapheli ukuba kukho into ekufuneka siyitshintshe. Ngokumane siyiqonda indlela esithetha ngayo ngokungathandekiyo, siqala ukuzahlula kwiimvakalelo ezizivelelayo. Oku kusenza sikwazi ukubona okungaphantsi kubo. Ngaphandle kolu lwazi, sinokuwela lula emgibeni wokukholelwa kwintetho yethu yokuzikhethela, kwaye njengoko utitshala wokucamngca uAllan Lokos esithi, “Sukukholelwa yonke into oyicingayo. Iingcinga yile nto-ziingcinga. ”

Ngokukhawuleza xa uzibona usihla kwindlela yokuzigxeka, ngobunono qaphela okwenzekayo, yiba nomdla ngayo, kwaye uzikhumbuze, "Ezi ziingcinga, ayisiyonyani."

2. Guqula ibali.

Sonke sinengxelo okanye ibali esilileleyo ngathi elibumba indlela esizijonga ngayo, esisekwe kuyo umfanekiso wethu wobuntu. Ukuba sifuna ukutshintsha elo bali, kufuneka siyiqonde ukuba ivelaphi kwaye siyifumana phi imiyalezo esizixelela yona. Ngamazwi kabani esiwafaka ngaphakathi?

UJessica Koblenz, Psy.D uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha iingcinga ezinje zokuba 'utyebile' okanye 'uyonqena' zinokuphindaphindwa engqondweni yakho kangangokuba uqale ukholelwe ukuba ziyinyani. “Ezi ngcinga ziyafundwa, nto leyo ethetha ukuba zingaba angafundanga . Ungaqala ngokuvuma. Yintoni onqwenela ukuba uyikholelwe ngawe? Phinda la mabinzana kuwe mihla le. "

UThomas Boyce, Ph.D., Uxhasa ukusetyenziswa kweziqinisekiso. Uphando oluqhutywe nguBoyce kunye noogxa bakhe lubonakalisile ukuba "uqeqesho lokuchaneka" ekuqinisekiseni ngokuqinisekileyo (umzekelo, ukubhala izinto ezininzi ezintle onokuzenza malunga nomzuzu) kunokunciphisa iimpawu zoxinzelelo njengoko kulinganiswa yingxelo yakho usebenzisa i-Beck Uluhlu lwempahla yoxinzelelo. Amanani amakhulu eengxelo ezibhaliweyo ezilungileyo zihambelana nophuculo olukhulu. UBoyce uthi: “Nangona badume kakubi ngenxa kamabonwakude ebusuku, ukuqinisekiswa ngokuqinisekileyo kunokuba luncedo.”

3. Kuphephe ukuwela kumngxunya wokuvundla nokuphelelwa lithemba.

"Izinto ezimbini eziphambili endizigxininisayo kukuziqhelanisa nokwamkela uyeke ukuzithelekisa nabanye, utshilo ugqirha wengqondo uKimberly Hershenson, uLMSW. “Ndigxininisa ukuba ngenxa yokuba omnye umntu ebonakala onwabile kwimidiya yokuncokola okanye nakuye umntu akuthethi ukuba bonwabile. Ukuthelekisa izinto kubangela ukuba uthethe kakubi, nto leyo ekhokelela kuxinzelelo noxinzelelo. ” Iimvakalelo zokuziva ungaxabisekanga zinokuchaphazela impilo yakho yengqondo kunye nezinye izinto ebomini bakho, ezinje ngomsebenzi, ubudlelwane kunye nempilo yomzimba.

4. Chaneli inkwenkwezi yakho yangaphakathi yelitye.

U-Albert Einstein uthe, “Wonke umntu yingqondi. Kodwa ukuba uyayigweba intlanzi ngokukwazi kwayo ukukhwela emthini, iyakuphila ubomi bayo bonke ikholelwa ukuba isisidenge. ” Sonke sinamandla kunye nobuthathaka bethu. Omnye umntu unokuba yimvumi ekrelekrele, kodwa ungumpheki owoyikekayo. Akukho mgangatho uchaza ixabiso lawo eliphambili. Qaphela ukuba yintoni amandla akho kunye neemvakalelo zokuzithemba eziza nazo, ngakumbi ngamaxesha okuthandabuza. Kulula ukwenza ubume xa usenza “isiphithiphithi” okanye “usilele” kwinto ethile, kodwa uzikhumbuze ngeendlela oxhoma ngazo iingoma zakho.

Ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nogqirha wezesondo oqinisekisiweyo uKristie Overstreet, LPCC, CST, CAP, ucebisa ukuba uzibuze, “Ngaba likho ixesha ebomini bakho apho wawuzithemba ngcono? Wawusenza ntoni ngeloxesha lobomi bakho? ” Ukuba kunzima kuwe ukuba uchonge izipho zakho ezizodwa, cela umhlobo akukhombise zona. Ngamanye amaxesha kulula kwabanye ukuba babone okungcono kuthi kunokuba kunjalo kuthi.

Ukuzithemba Kubalulekile Ukufunda

Isizathu esinye seSizathu sokuba abantu bakufumanise kunzima ukuba nothando