Unxibelelwano kunye nothando kwiPsychotherapy

Le "yenye yezo veki." Phantse bonke abathengi bam babenexesha elinzima kwaye omnye wafumana amava kunye nosapho kunye nabanonopheli ngeziphumo eziza kudlala iinyanga, mhlawumbi iminyaka.

Kule veki, ndinomsebenzi omninzi ekufuneka ndiwenzile. Ezinye zazo kukuhanjiswa kwam. Kwimeko enye yomceli mngeni ndafumana uninzi lweProjekti yokuchonga, indlela yokhuselo eyamkelweyo ukuba isebenze kubudlelwane bonyango. Umxhasi ngokungazi ngokungathandabuzekiyo iiprojekthi ezinganyamezelekiyo kuye kwi-Therapist, kwaye ugqirha uzifaka ngaphakathi ezi zinto kuye. Isiphumo kukuba ugqirha uziva ngaphakathi kwakhe iimvakalelo / iimvakalelo / iimvakalelo zomthengi, ngokungathi zezakhe.

Kule veki bendisemnxebeni, ndikwiingxoxo ezinde nomthengi kunye nabanonopheli, ndingenakuzenzela ukwenza izinto zilunge njengoko kufanelekile. Kwaqengqeleka iiyure ndisiba buhlungu ndisentlungwini.

Ndinesabelo sam sentlungu ebomini, kodwa oku kwahlukile. Ndayazi ukuba yeyomthengi wam. Kwakungathi kunesisindo esingaqhelekanga esanditsalayo. Kuthathe iiyure ezimbalwa ukufumanisa ukuba oku kukuchongwa kweprojekti, emva koko ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndithathe amanyathelo.

Njenge-psychotherapist evakalayo, ndiyazi ukuba luncedo kwempendulo yobugcisa kwinkqubo yonyango lomthengi wam. Ngeentsuku zabafundi, enye yeendlela ezininzi endifundiswe ukuyisebenzisa, kukulandela iseshoni nomthengi, ukuqonda inkqubo yonyango yomthengi ngcono. Ndifunde ukulandelelana ukuzibeka ndicinga kwindima yomthengi kwaye emva koko ndenze impendulo yobugcisa kwinto eyenzekayo nomthengi. Isenokuba ngumzobo womzimba, umzobo, intshukumo, ukubhala umbongo, ukucula, njl.

Ke kule veki ndimamele iingoma kwaye ndazama ukuvumela umzimba wam ukuba uhambe ngendlela enokuthi ibonakalise intlungu endiyivileyo ngokunxulumene namava alo mthengi. Kwakungathi bubunzulu beHadesi. Ekugqibeleni, uluhlu lwadlalwayo lweza nengoma eqhelekileyo, kwaye njengoko ndimamele intshukumo ecothayo edlula kum ngandlela thile kubonakala ngathi iqulethe amagama.

Ndaziva ngathi ndolulwa, phantse ngaphaya kwamandla am, ukubeka ibhulorho ngaphezulu kwamanzi anengxaki kulo mthengi. Ndiqaphele ukuba ukolula yayihamba intshukumo endiyifunayo ukuze ndiyenze ngokwasemzimbeni ukutshintsha indlela endandiziva ngayo ngalo mzuzu. Endaweni yokuba ngumthwalo omileyo, ndaye ndenziwa ibhulorho ende kumanzi aneengxaki.

Siba yibhulorho enjalo njengabanyangi ngokuzisa ubukho njengomlondolozi "owaneleyo", okwaziyo ukubamba izinto eziziva zingenakunyamezeleka kubaxhasi bethu kwaye sizivimbe. Abathengi ngamaxesha athile baziva bengqongwe ziintlungu naphi na apho bajikela khona; iintlungu ziyothusa kangangokuba baziva bengenako ukuzibamba kunye nokusebenza. Njengabanyangi, sihamba nabaxumi bethu xa sihlangabezana nale ntlungu, kwaye asiqhekeki xa sisenza njalo. Ngale ndlela, siba luphawu lwethemba kwindibaniselwano enokubakho.

Ukuze oku kusebenze, umxhasi wethu kufuneka azive ukuba ngokwenene "siyazifumana" iintlungu abazifumanayo kwaye siyinyani "nabo". Oku kwenzeka kuphela xa sibeka umxhasi wethu embindini wentliziyo kunye nentliziyo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo sinika imiyalezo ekhathalayo, ngamanye amaxesha ngamazwi, kodwa rhoqo ngamehlo, ukuma komzimba, kunye nelizwi: Ndiyakubona, ndiyakuva, ndiyakukhathalela, ndilapha kunye nawe, senza oku kunye.

Ukuqhobosha ngothando kunye nokunxibelelana njengeebhloko zokwakha
Xa sinika loo miyalezo yokhathalelo, sinika eyona nto ibalulekileyo yenkxaso kumaxhoba omonakalo. Sinika ukuzibandakanya, inkqubo engathethiyo yokuba kunye nomnye umntu ngendlela ehambela ngokupheleleyo nangokuphendula kuloo mntu. Unxibelelwano luyasebenzisana kwaye lubonelelwe ngenkxaso yamehlo exhasayo, ukuvakala, intetho, kunye nolwimi lomzimba.

Unxibelelwano sesona sithuthi siphambili kubazali ukunxibelelana uthando kunye nokhuseleko kubantwana abancinci. Amehlo anothando kunye nelizwi elinobubele labazali ngokuphindaphindiweyo liqinisekisa umntwana: uyabonwa kwaye uyabonwa; siyakuthanda kwaye siya kukugcina ukhuselekile; ungaphonononga kwaye uzibandakanye nezinto ezinzima okanye ezingaqhelekanga kuba silapha ngenxa yakho. Sityhila njengabantu phambi kononophelo lwakwangoko, kwaye sityhila phambili ukuba sinethamsanqa lokulifumana kubudlelwane bamva.

Ukuxhasa, ukuthanda, ukuqikelela, ukumamela, ubukho bomntu ononopheleyo sisiseko sokwazi ukuziva ukhuselekile emhlabeni, ukuzibandakanya kubudlelwane, kunye nokubanga indawo yethu eluntwini.

Nangona kunjalo, ngendlela yethu, sonke siye sanamava okusilela kokunxibelelana ebomini bethu. Sonke sidinga omnye umntu ngamanye amaxesha ukuba agcine ibhulorho ngaphezulu kwamanzi asengxakini. Kweminye, oku kubonelelwa ngothandekayo osenyongweni, okanye umcebisi onakho ukwenza loo ndima. Kwabanye, ibhulorho yonyango.

Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, asinakukwenza ngokwethu. Le yinkqubo efuna ukubuyelana. Umntu othile kufuneka ahlanganise ibhulorho yomnye ade lowo ungazinzanga akwazi ukuxhomekeka kobo bume kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe azolule kwaye akhule la malungu, kwaye ekugqibeleni azinze ngokwaneleyo ukuba azibandakanye ngokudityaniswa yedwa.

Unonophelo lokwenene kunye nothando lonyango kumxhasi yinto yokwenza okanye yokwaphula amandla kwinkqubo yonyango ngokubanzi kunye nonyango lomothuko ngokukodwa.

Iminyaka yamva nje izise unonophelo olukhulu, kunye nomothuko wophuhliso kunye nendima yayo ekuphiliseni umntu ngamnye kunye noluntu. Eli linyathelo elisikelelweyo kwicala elifanelekileyo. Kodwa, into engancediyo kolu lwazi lutsha kugxilwe kuxinzelelo iimpawu ukunciphisa endaweni ye- Ukudityaniswa komothuko kunye nendlela yempilo-ntle yonke . Unyango oluninzi kunye nabanyangi bakhuthaza iindlela ezijolise ekujonganeni neempawu zoxinzelelo kunye nefuthe labo kubaxhasi. Iingcali zonyango zijolise kancinci kubuchwephesha bokuhlala ixesha kunye nokuqondisa kwakhona uxinzelelo endaweni yokuhlala ngamaxesha oxinzelelo kunye nentlungu njengenxalenye yenkqubo yonyango.

Kukho ixesha kwinkqubo yonyango yokugxila ekujonganeni neempawu zoxinzelelo. (Funda ngakumbi apha.) Kodwa kubalulekile njengonyango ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukunyanga iimpawu zoxinzelelo kulungiselela; ayisosiphelo ngokwako.

Xa sisebenza nabasinde ngengozi sidinga ilensi ebanzi, egxile kuyo yonke imiba yempilo. Impilo-ntle yexhoba ngokubanzi kufuneka ibe kwiziko lexesha lakho kunye, kwaye kaninzi ngaphandle kwexesha lakho kunye. (Funda ngakumbi apha.)

Sisebenza njengebhulorho de izinto zitshintshe kwaye umxhasi uyakwazi ukuzibopha ezi ndawo yedwa. Oku kuhlala kwenzeka kuqala njengenxalenye yenkqubo yonyango, kodwa ekugqibeleni, iyaqhubeka xa bebodwa. Ngentliziyo yethu yonke, sisebenzela elo xesha xa umxhasi ekwazi ukugcina inkqubela phambili kwaye ekulungele ukuqhubeka ngaphandle kwethu.

Abathengi bethu kufuneka bazi ukusuka kusuku lokuqala ukuba siyabakhathalela, kwaye siyabathanda, ukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha siye sibathande ngendlela ebakhuselayo kwaye igcina imida. Ngokuthe ngcembe beza kusithemba njengebhulorho phakathi kwamava abuhlungu abanawo. Xa oku kufezekisiwe, siyakwazi ukubanceda ukuba baqulunqe kwaye banxibelelane nezixhobo zabo njengeebhloko zokwakha ibhulorho yabo emanzini anengxaki.