Ilungelo lovelwano: Kutheni abantu abakhathalayo maxa wambi bengenabubele

Umxholo

• Uxinzelelo luthintela njani iMfesane
• Impendulo Loop yeMfesane

Esi sithuba sipapashwe kwiindawo ezintathu. Nceda ucofe kwikhonkco elingezantsi kwiCandelo 2.

Kwabo bethu babambe imfesane njengeyona nto iphambili, kwaye mhlawumbi sisebenza ngenkuthalo ukudala umhlaba onovelwano ngakumbi, elinye lamava aphazamisayo nadimazayo kukujongana nabantu abangenalusizi. Aba ngabantu abathi, ngaphandle kokwaziswa ngokubandezeleka okuxhaphakileyo okanye ifuthe labo eliyingozi kwabo babangqongileyo, babonakala ngathi abakhathali kwaye babeke phambili ezabo izilangazelelo kwimpilo-ntle yabanye.

Okumangalisayo kukuba, ukukhathazeka kwethu ngabo banqunyanyisiweyo kwiimfesane zabo kuhlala kuyinto ebangela ukuba sikhuphe imfesane yethu. Kunokuba nzima ukuba sizive sinesisa, ukugcina imeko yolwazelelelo kwaba bantu, kwaye ke sinokuthi sinxibelelane nabo ngendlela eza neziphumo ezichaseneyo noko sikufunayo. Umzekelo, mhlawumbi ungachazela umntu ukuba ukutya ukutya okunemifuno eninzi kuxhasa impilo-ntle yezilwanyana kunye nomhlaba-kuphela ukuxelelwa ukuba abananjongo zokutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo, kuba ibhekoni inencasa. Unomsindo, uqala ukuba neentloni kunye nokusola ukuzama ukutyhalela phambili umyalezo wakho-kodwa ngoku awusasebenzi ngemfesane kwaye omnye umntu kusenokwenzeka ukuba akanxibelelananga kwaphela nemfesane yabo kunokuba babenjalo kwasekuqaleni.

Ukuba sinethemba lokuzisa uvelwano ngakumbi emhlabeni, kufuneka sitshintshe indlela esicinga ngayo ngalo mgangatho. Endaweni yokucinga abantu "njengovelwano" kwaye ke "balungile" kwaye kungenjalo, kufuneka siyiqonde loo nto Imfesane luphawu okanye ilizwe¹ ukuba abantu banokufikelela okungaphezulu okanye okuncinci , kuxhomekeke kwizinto ezahlukeneyo; kwaye xa abantu bengakwazi ukufikelela kwimfesane yabo, kunokubangela ukuba babandezeleke. Njengokuba singekhe sijonge umntu olambileyo esitalatweni kwaye siziva ngathi siyabadelela kuba abanako ukufikelela kukutya okuninzi njengathi, akufuneki sibajongele phantsi abantu abangakwaziyo ukufikelela inceba njengokuba sinjalo. Eyona ndlela inemveliso ngakumbi kukuba nomdla wokufunda ukuba yeyiphi na imiqobo ethintela umntu ukuba afikelele kwimfesane yakhe kwaye, ukuba kunokwenzeka, azame ukudala imeko-bume ebenza ukuba bakwazi ukwenza njalo.

Ndiyazi ukuba le nto ndiyicebisayo inokubonakala ngathi ayinakuphikiswa. Ukunceda ukucacisa inqaku lam, ndingathanda ukuba ucinge ngale meko ilandelayo.

~~

Olunye lwezo ntsuku xa izinto ezininzi zingahambi ngendlela evakalelwa kukuba umhlaba uyaceba kuwe. Emva kokuba iTV yabamelwane ikugcina isiqingatha sobusuku, ulala ngealam yakho, oya kuthi uyibekele ukukunika ixesha elongezelelekileyo lokulungiselela intetho yakho ebalulekileyo yasekuseni. Uvuka emva kwexesha, udiniwe, kwaye woyike. Uphuma emnyango, ngaphandle kwesidlo sakusasa kodwa kunye nekofu yakho oyifunayo ngesandla, kwaye utsibe emotweni yakho. Ngokukhawuleza kwakho, uhamba ngesantya kwindlela edlulayo yohola wendlela oxineneyo. Ngequbuliso, isipili sakho sangasemva silawulwa yiSUV ekufutshane kakhulu kangangokuba awunako nokuzibona izibane zangaphambili; kodwa akukho sithuba sokuba uphume endleleni kwaye udibane nomgaqo ophakathi. Usoyika, ubeke uphawu lwakho lokujika kwaye ucofe iziqhoboshi zakho, kodwa ubuso obunomsindo esipilini abuguquki. Utsala kuvulo lokuqala olufumanayo, kwaye umqhubi ojonga ngasemva ujonge ngaphambili, engqiyame kuwe eshukumisa inqindi, ngokungathi nguwe umoni. Kwimizuzu kamva, ulwandle lwezibane ezibomvu lusondela phambi kwefestile yakho, kwaye njengoko ubetha iziqhoboshi ukunqanda ukungqubana kwindawo yokuxinana kweemoto, ikofu yakho iyaphithizela kwaye ichaphazele izihlangu zakho nasemgangathweni.

Ukuzama ukungabilo nangaphezulu kunokuba sele unjalo kwihempe yakho ecocekileyo, uyaziqinisekisa ukuba usenokufika ngexesha ukuba uthatha enye indlela. Uya kuphuma kwindawo elandelayo, ulandela ingcebiso yeGPS ekukhokelayo. Kodwa xa ungena nzulu kwindawo ongayiqhelanga, i-GPS iyatshintsha ekukuyaleleni ukuphinda-phinda ukuba "ibala kwakhona." Wothukile, ubambe ifowuni yakho ukwazisa oogxa bakho ukuba uphelelwe lixesha, kodwa kwa loo ndawo ifileyo eginye ulwamkelo lwakho lwe-GPS- kwaye amagosa aseburhulumenteni ebethembisile iminyaka iya kuba ngocingo- itye yonke imivalo kwifowuni yakho.

Ekugqibeleni ufika kwisakhiwo seofisi yakho, ushiywe lixesha ukuba unike intetho yakho.

Phambi komnyango, amabhinqa amabini aselula ahambisa incwadana malunga notshintsho lwemozulu kunye nokuqokelela iisiginitsha zesikhalazo. Njengoko umntu esondela kuwe kwaye ancume, uyamngxala kwaye umtyhobozele ukuze akushiye wedwa njengoko umtyhalela ngaphaya kweminyango ejikelezayo.

Uxinzelelo luthintela njani iMfesane

Cinga ngendlela ekunokuba nzima ngayo ukuba ngcono kuwe emva kwentsasa nje enye enzima — okanye kwa incoko nje enye enzima; Sonke sizisolile ngezinto esizithethileyo okanye esizenzileyo kubushushu bempikiswano. Emva kwamava oxinzelelo, ngakumbi lawo abandakanya abanye abantu abaziphethe kakubi kuthi, nokuba sifuna ngenene kwaye sizame ukwenza ngeendlela ezibonakalisa ukuthembeka kwethu, imilinganiselo yethu yokuziphatha, asikwazi kwaphela. Sikhohlakele ngakumbi, asithembi, kwaye asinakutshata; kwaye kunqabile ukuba siqaphele okanye sikhathalele impilo-ntle yabanye. Sinokufikelela okuncinci kwimfesane yethu.

Imfesane yimvakalelo yenkxalabo ngentlalontle yabanye, kunye nomnqweno wokwenza oko.

Xa sikwimeko yokubandezeleka ngokwethu, sobabini ngokwasemphefumlweni nasengqondweni asikwazi ukuziva sinovelwano. Iikhemikhali zethu ze-neurochemicals zisibangela ukuba sibe kwimeko ye-hyperarousal, okanye imo yokulwa-okanye-yokubhabha, esenza ukuba singakwazi ukucinga ngokusengqiqweni okanye sive uvelwano kwabanye. Ukuya kwinqanaba elikhulu okanye elincinci, sikwimo yokusinda, ethi ngokuqinisekileyo isenze ukuba sibambe ongezantsi, okanye sigxile kuthi. Cinga ngale ndlela: ukuba umntu uyarhaxwa, abacingi ngendlela abanokubaxhasa ngayo abanye; Ekuphela kwento abanokuyenza kukuzama ukubamba nantoni na edadayo.

Kwaye ukubandezeleka kwethu kubumba ingxelo yethu, ² Eli lelona bali sizibalisela lona ngamava ethu- kubandakanya nendima edlalwa ngabantu abohlukeneyo- eqhuba iimvakalelo zethu nokuziphatha kwethu. Ekupheleni kwentsasa yakho enoxinzelelo, ungaziva ungabathembi abanye abantu, ungathandabuzi ukuba bayakhathala, okanye bayakwazi ukujongwa kwaye bakuxhase, impilo-ntle yakho, kuba bakugcinile ebusuku, iphantse yakubangela ukuba ungqubeke, kwaye ungazifezekisanga izithembiso zabo zokufaka ucingo kummandla obhubhileyo owabambeka kuwo. Kuba intembeko sisiseko sobudlelwane obunempilo kwaye yeyona nto isenza sizive sikhuselekile kwaye sinxibelelene nabanye abantu, ungaziva imvakalelo yokungazithembi kunye nokunqunyulwa kwabanye, njengoko uzisonga ngezixhobo zemvakalelo ukuzikhusela ekukhohlisweni okanye ukwenzakala kwakhona. Kodwa ukurhoxa okunjalo kuyenza mandundu intlungu yakho; Uphando lubonakalisile ukuba sikulukhuni ukuba sidinge unxibelelwano oluyinyani ukuze sikhule kwaye asinako ukudibana nabanye okanye nathi xa singazivumeli ukuba sibuthathaka- iintliziyo ezivulekileyo.

Ngenye intsasa yoxinzelelo kunokubangela ukuba uzive ungonwabanga kwaye unqanyulwe kwabanye, kwaye kuwe-ngentliziyo yakho, uvelwano.

Impendulo Loop yeMfesane

Ukuqhawulwa kovelwano kunokubangela ukuba sibandezeleke. Kwaye, ibangela ukuba sibenegalelo ekubandezelekeni kwabanye. Ngamanye amagama, xa sisentlungwini, kunzima ngathi ukufikelela imfesane yethu; kwaye xa singenakho ukufikelela kuvelwano lwethu, kunokwenzeka ukuba sibangele iintlungu kwabanye, kwiluphu yengxelo.

Ukunxibelelana nemfesane yethu kukwa negalelo kwiluphu yengxelo. Cinga ngamaxesha ebomini bakho apho waziva uvulekile entliziyweni; amathuba okuba uzive unesisa ngakumbi. Mhlawumbi ubhatalele umqhubi osemva kwakho, ukuze nje ube nobubele. Mhlawumbi uthembise ukushiya isihlalo sakho kwinqwelomoya ukuze isibini sihlale kunye. Mhlawumbi, kula mizuzu, ubuziva unoxinzelelo oluncinci kwaye ukhuseleke ngakumbi kwaye uqhagamshelene, kunye nawe kunye nabanye. Kwaye izenzo zakho zenceba zibangele abantu abakungqongileyo ukuba basabele ngobubele ngokwabo, beqinisa imeko yakho elungileyo yobuntu kunye nesiqu sakho. Ukuba ubuphumelele kubaphembeleli bokutshintsha kwemozulu emva kosuku e-spa endaweni yasemva koxinzelelo olunzima, ubunokuba nakho ukusayina isikhalazo sabo-okanye ubuncinci ungabaphathi ngendelelo- kwaye mhlawumbi uzive ungcono malunga nawe ngenxa yayo.

Cofa apha ukufunda iCandelo 2 lale post.