Ngaba "Sinabantu Bokwenene"?

Umxholo

• Amanqaku aphambili
• Yintoni Ukunyaniseka?
• I "Self True" ayikho

Amanqaku aphambili

• "Okwenene" ngumgaqo okhokela indlela esiziphatha ngayo.
• Ukuziphatha ngendlela eguqulweyo kunxulunyaniswa neemvakalelo zobunyani, nkqu nakwabangenisi.
• Abantu bahlala befihla izinto abazenzileyo ukuze baphile kunye nabanye.

Kuthetha ukuthini ukunyaniseka?

Kudliwanondlebe oludumileyo noJoe Rogan, umbhali othengisa kakhulu uDavid Goggins watyhila uloyiko lwakhe olukhulu.

UGoggins wayenobuntwana obubi, wakhulela ekutyebeni kakhulu, kwaye wafumana ubunzima obuninzi ebomini bakhe bokuqala. Emva koko waba yi-Navy SEAL, imbaleki ye-ultra-marathon, kunye nesithethi esidumileyo.

UGoggins wathi olona loyiko lwakhe lukhulu yayikukufa kwaye uThixo (okanye nabani na uThixo amnike lo msebenzi) umbonisa ibhodi enoluhlu lwezinto aziphumezileyo: ukulunga komzimba, i-Navy SEAL, ukubamba irekhodi, isithethi esikhuthazayo esinceda abanye, njl. ucinga ukuba ayindim. Kwaye uThixo uyaphendula, "yiloo nto ubufanele ukuba ubuyiyo."

Yintoni Ukunyaniseka?

Isazi ngengqondo esidumileyo uRoy Baumeister ubhale iphepha elinomdla lokufunda malunga "nokuzithemba" nokunyaniseka. Ucebisa ukuba imvakalelo yokunyaniseka ivela ekubeni senza ngokuhambelana nodumo esilufunayo.

Ngamanye amagama, abantu baziva behambelana kakhulu nenyani yabo xa befikelela kwiminqweno yabo enqwenelekayo ekuhlaleni. Ukusilela ekufezekiseni, okanye ukuphulukana nako, kuya kuziva kunganyanisekanga.

Xa bebanjwe besenza into abanentloni ngayo, abantu bathetha izinto ezinje, "Ayisiyiyo le ndiyiyo" okanye "Ayindim lowo."

Bathetha ukuba izenzo ezonakalisa udumo azibonisi okwenyani. Oku akuthethi ukuba bayaxoka. Uninzi lwabantu luyakholelwa ngenene ukuba izenzo zabo ezihlazo azibonisi ukuba bazantsi kangakanani.

U-Baumeister ubhala athi, "Ukuba eyona njongo yesiqu sakho kukudibanisa umzimba wezilwanyana kwinkqubo yezentlalo (ukuze ikwazi ukuphila kwaye ivelise), ukuhlakulela igama elihle yeyona nto iphambili, kwaye xa umntu ephumelele, nangomzuzwana, kuyakubakho. Yamkeleka xa usithi 'ndim lowo!' ”

Uthetha ukuba naliphi na inyathelo esilithathayo eligcina okanye elonyusa igama lethu liya kusinika ukonyusa ulonwabo. Sidibanisa le mvakalelo kunye nenyani.

Njengososayensi wezengqondo oguqukayo uGeoffrey Miller sele ephawule, isimilo asiveli nje kuba kusenzeka ukuba bazive bonwabile. Ukuziva ulungile kuguqukile ukuze ukhuthaze isimilo, ekunokwenzeka ukuba sibe nesibonelelo sokuzivelela kwezinto. Imvakalelo elungileyo ikhona ukusenza ukuba senze okungakumbi kokuziphatha okuluncedo.

U-Baumeister ubhala athi, "Enye yezona ziphumo zingathandekiyo kubaphandi bobunyani yayikukuba abathathi-nxaxheba baseMelika, kubandakanya izethulo, ngokubanzi babika ukuba baziva bethembekile xa besenza into engaphaya kokungeniswa. IMelika luluntu olugqithisileyo, kodwa kunjalo, kuyaphazamisa ukuba nkqu nabangenisi bazive benyanisekile xa besenza into ebaxiweyo. ”

Ewe kunjalo, uphando lubonisa ukuba abantu bafaka ingxelo yokuziva benyanisekile ngakumbi xa beziphatha ngendlela ecekeceke, enesazela, ezinzileyo ngokwasemphefumlweni nangokwengqondo. Nokuba zithini na iimpawu zabo zobuntu.

Beka ngokwahlukileyo, abantu bathambekele ekuziva benyanisekile xa besenza izinto ezixabisekileyo eluntwini, endaweni yokulandela iminqweno yabo yangaphakathi.

Okubangela umdla, olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba iimvakalelo zobunyani kunye nokuba sempilweni ziphezulu xa abantu behamba kunye neempembelelo zangaphandle kunokuba bazichase. Ukuhamba nabanye kwakudityaniswa nokuba namandla ngakumbi kunye nokuzithemba okuphezulu.

Unokucinga ukuba isiqu sokwenyani siya kubonakala xa abantu bechasa iimpembelelo zentlalo. Kodwa abantu baziva benyanisekile ngakumbi kubo xa behamba neempembelelo zentlalo.

Ngaba ke isiqu sethu sokwenene siyimvu nje ehamba nantoni na eyenziwa ngabantu abasingqongileyo?

I "Self True" ayikho

UBaumeister ucebisa ukuba isiqu sokwenene asiyonto yokwenyani. Ngumbono kwaye kufanelekile.

Umntu wokwenene yindlela esicinga ukuba sinokuba yiyo. Xa senza ngokungqinelana naloo mnqweno, siye sicinge ukuba “ndinguye lowo.” Xa siphambuka kuyo, sicinga ukuba ayindim lowo.

Umbono onxulumene noko uxoxiwe ngengcali yeengqondo kunye nomphandi wobudlelwane u-Eli Finkel. Uthetha malunga nesenzeko sikaMichelangelo. UFinkel ubhala athi: "Engqondweni kaMichelangelo, uDavid wayekhona elityeni ngaphambi kokukrola."

Umbono kukuba kwimitshato esempilweni, umntu ngamnye uchonga elona qabane lakhe libalaseleyo, kwaye bayancedana ukuba babe bobona buntu.

Kodwa uluvo lukaBaumeister kukuba sinombono wethu wobuntu bethu obugqwesileyo (esikholelwa ukuba bubuntu bethu bokwenyani) kwaye siziva sinyanisekile ngakumbi xa sisondela kufutshane naloo mbono.

Into abantu abayicinga njengesiqobo sabo yinguqulelo yabo enegama elihle. Umntu ozimeleyo owenza ukuba abe noontanga abahloniphayo. Xa be-intshi besondela kuloo nto, baya kuziva bonwabile. Kwaye uxele uziva unyanisekile.

Ngasekupheleni kwenqaku, u-Baumeister ubhala athi, "abantu baxela ukuba baziva benyanisekile ikakhulu xa besenza izinto ezinqwenelekayo ekuhlaleni, iindlela ezilungileyo, ngokuchaseneyo nokutsho, ukungqinelana nendalo yabo, iintsumpa kunye nazo zonke."

Olu luvo lunceda ukusombulula enye iphazili kubomi bentlalo.

Kwiphepha elinesihloko esithi "Ukuncama inqanaba lentlalontle: Ukufihla izazisi ezikumgangatho ophakamileyo koontanga bakho," abaphandi bafumanise ukuba abantu bahlala befihla impumelelo yabo entle kwabanye ukuze baphile kunye neqela.

Abaphandi babhala, "ngelixa befihla isikhundla esiphakamileyo sokuzazisa bobabini ubunyani kunye nokunyaniseka, abantu babona ukufihla kufanelekile kuba kunciphisa izoyikiso kubo, nakwabanye."

Abantu baya kuhlala besabelana ngokufana abanako nabanye. Kodwa iya kubamba ulwazi oluveza ukuba babambe ezona zikhundla ziphezulu.

Abaphandi bacebisa ukuba abantu benze oku ukunciphisa isoyikiso phakathi kwabantu. Ukulungelelanisa ubudlelwane phakathi kwabanye.

Yeyiphi engaqhelekanga. Unokucinga ukuba abantu bafuna uku:

1. Xela iinkcukacha zokuphucula ubume malunga nabo
2. Qiniseka ngokwabelana ngolwazi oluthembekileyo

Kodwa enye indlela yokujonga ukubamba kwabo ulwazi kukuba abantu babeka phambili ukuhlangana nabanye. Abantu bakhokelwa sisiqu sabo esifanelekileyo. Umntu othandwa kakhulu ngabanye. Ke bazama ukungaziqhayisi kakhulu malunga nezinto abaziphumezileyo.