Ngaba Uthembele Kakhulu Okanye Kancinci?

Umxholo

• Ukuvavanya ukuthembeka
• Unxibelelwano oluthembekileyo
• Imida
• Ukuthembeka
• Uqikelelo
• Ukufunda ukuthemba

Ukuba ungcatshiwe okanye ukuthembana kwakho kwaphulwa, ucinga ukuba ukuthembela kwakho kubekwe ngendlela engeyiyo kumntu ongathembekanga? Uninzi lwabantu alunangqondo malunga nokuthembana. Bacinga okona kubi kakhulu kwaye abathembani, okanye bayagqitha kwaye bayangeniswa ngokulula. Abantu abakudidi lokuqala babeka iindonga kwaye bagcina abanye bekude. Iqela lesibini ngokuzingca libanga ukuba lithembela emntwini de babe banesizathu sokuba bangakwenzi oko. Emva koko bayothuka xa bethembele kumntu ongathembekanga.

Kweli hlabathi lanamhlanje lihambayo, ngesiqhelo, xa siqala ukudibana nomntu, asazi kwanto malunga nokunyaniseka okanye indlela yokuziphatha kwangaphambili, ngaphandle kwento abasixelela yona. Ukunyaniseka kungqinwa ngokuhamba kwexesha ngezenzo, hayi ngamazwi kuphela. Ungonzakala ngokukholelwa izinto ezithethwa ngabantu kwaye ungazihoyi izinto abazenzayo Ukuze uthembeke, umntu kufuneka "ahambise intetho yakhe" -amazwi kunye nezenzo kufuneka zihambelane. Kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukuthembela kumbono wakho, isakhono esinzima kwabanye abaxhomekeki kwezinye abathembela kancinane okanye kakhulu. Ukukwazi ukuthembela ngokwenyani yinkqubo yokufunda.

Xa ukhulele kwindawo engalunganga yosapho apho abazali bakho bagcina iimfihlo okanye bengaqinisekisi iimbono zakho, wafunda ukuzithandabuza. Unokuba ungathembi kwaye / okanye ngokuchaseneyo, unokucebisa ngento ethethwa ngabanye kwaye unqamle kwinkqubo yakho yangaphakathi yesikhokelo. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, awukwazi ukuvavanya ngokwenyani abanye abantu.

Ukuvavanya ukuthembeka

Oku kulandelayo ziimpawu ekufuneka ujongiwe xa usazi umntu othile kwaye uvavanya ukuthembeka komntu. Inye kwaye iyafana nezinto ezenza ukuthembana kunye nokhuseleko kubudlelwane.

Unxibelelwano oluthembekileyo

Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo noluthembekileyo lilitye lembombo lobudlelwane obuhle kunye nokwakha ukuthembana. Le yingxaki kubudlelwane obudibeneyo, kuba amaqabane anobunzima bokwazi kwaye ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyaniseka baxoxa ngeemvakalelo zabo. Unxibelelwano kuhlala kungangqalanga, kuyasebenza, kwaye kuyazikhusela. Xa uvaliwe, kuphakamisa ukuthandabuza nokungaqondani neqabane lakho.

Unxibelelwano oluthembekileyo lufuna ukuba uqiniseke malunga noko ukufunayo kunye nokufuna kwaye uzibonakalise ngokuphandle iimvakalelo zakho, kubandakanya into ongayithandiyo xa ulindele ukuba iqabane lakho lifunde ingqondo yakho kwaye libe nolindelo olungachazwanga, kukhokelela kwinzondo kunye nembambano kwaye kujongela phantsi ukuthembana. Ngokufanayo, xa ufihla iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, ziye zivele ecaleni, kukuziphatha, ukulibala, ukungathembeki, okanye ukurhoxa. Amagama kunye nezenzo zakho azingqinelani, ezakha ukungathembi.

Ngokucacileyo, ukuxoka, ukwaphula izithembiso, ukugcina iimfihlo, kunye nokukhanyela izinto ozithethileyo kwakha ukungathembani ngokukhawuleza. Akufanelekanga ukuphulukana nokuthembeka kwakho nakubuxoki obuncinci okanye imfihlo. Nokuba uyayifihla inyaniso, inokwenzakalisa kakhulu ukuthembana kwaye kube nzima ukuyilungisa. Inokubangela ukuba iqabane lakho lithandabuze ezinye, izinto ezinkulu othembeke ngazo.

Imida

Imida yimida. Babalulekile kuba benza imeko yokhuseleko. Ukwazi umntu othile, kubalulekile ukuba nengxoxo ethembekileyo malunga nemida kunye nokuba ngasese ukhululekile ukuba kunye nakho. Unganqwenela imida ngokubhekisele kwinto yakho, indawo, ii-imeyile, kunye neencoko, ezithi ukuba ziphulwe zingakwenza ungathembi iqabane lakho. Unokuziva ungcatshiwe ukuba incoko yabucala neqabane lakho iphindaphindwe kumhlobo wakhe, okanye ukuba uthetha omnye wabahlobo bakho okanye izalamane ngawe.

Kwiminyaka eyadlulayo xa ndandiligqwetha, ndaziva ngathi ndophulwe imida yam xa umhla wathumela iintyatyambo eofisini yam ngaphandle kwesizathu, nangona yayisisenzo esihle, sandihlazisa emsebenzini. Ndifuna umda phakathi komsebenzi wam nobomi babucala. Indenze ukuba ndingathembi ukugweba kunye nokuqonda kwendoda. Iimvakalelo zam zazibonile kwaye wabonisa ukungabikho kobuntununtunu kunye nemida kwezinye iindawo. Zithembe iimvakalelo zakho. Xa uxelela umntu imida yakho kwaye angayihoyi, oku kudala ukophula okwesibini-kokungahloniphi. Kuya kufuneka uchaze izizathu zemida yakho nomntu onengqondo eyahluke kwaphela.

Umda obalulekileyo ngulo ujikeleze umzimba wakho kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Ucofeka kangakanani xa ukhululekile kubudlelwane bakho, nini kwaye phi? Ngaba awuzukukhetha, uzikhethele ngokwesondo, okanye uzinikele? Imida yomzimba kunye neyesondo ibalulekile ukuvumela nokukhusela ukusondelelana kubudlelwane bakho. Umona nokungathembeki okanye imbono yokungathembeki inokulonakalisa ulwalamano ngokungenakulungiseka. Wena neqabane lakho ninokuba namaxabiso awahlukeneyo malunga nokwamkelekileyo. Thetha phandle malunga nento oyifunayo ukuze uzive ukhuselekile kwaye unothando. Sukuhlala okanye ucinge ngalo nto-yinyani!

Ukuthembeka

Izinto ezilula, ezinje ngokwenza oko uthi uza kukwenza, ukubuyisa ipropathi ebolekiweyo, ukufika ngexesha, kunye nokugcina imihla, ukwakha ukuthembana. Yonke le yimizekelo "yokuhamba intetho." Ukophula izithembiso, nokuba zincinci, kudala ukudana. Ikwathumela umyalezo wokuba iimvakalelo zomnye umntu kunye neemfuno azikhathali. Ukuba kwenzeka ngamaxesha aneleyo, iqabane lakho liphulukana nokuthembana kwaye lenza inzondo ephelisa ubudlelwane.

Uqikelelo

Njengokuba usiya umazi umntu othile, wakha umbono engqondweni yakho malunga nokuba ungubani kwaye oko kukunika imeko ethile yokuziva ukhululekile kwaye unqabisekile. Ukuba uqala ngokuziphatha ngeendlela ezingalindelekanga okanye ngendlela engahambelaniyo nento esiba yinto eqhelekileyo, kubangela ukungathembani kunye nokuthandabuza malunga nempilo yengqondo yomntu, ukuthembeka, okanye ukusebenzisana kwemali. Ukuba uhlangabezana notshintsho oluthile, njengokutshintsha umsebenzi wakho okanye ukungaziva unesondo, kungcono ukuba unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo noluthembekileyo malunga nalo ngaphambi kokuba kuvele imibuzo.

Ukufunda ukuthemba

Ukufunda ukuthembela ayisiyonto ingako ngomnye umntu njengokufunda ukuthembela kwimbono yakho kunye nokuthathela ingqalelo amathandabuzo akho kunye ne-intuition. Xa ukunye nomntu, yisa ingqalelo yakho ngaphakathi ukuze ubone ukuba zeziphi iimvakalelo ozifumanayo ebusweni babo. Umsindo, iintloni, ukuziva unetyala, kunye nokwenzakala ziimvakalelo ezinokuthi zibe luphawu lokuba imida yakho iwele ngokuxhatshazwa okanye ngokunyanzelwa. Chitha ixesha nawe kwaye uqaphele umohluko phakathi kunye nokude komnye umntu.

© UDarlene Lancer 2012.