Musa ukucinga ukuba unokuLawula ubudlelwane beNtsapho obuNgxaki?

Iiholide lixesha lokonwaba nokunxibelelana; ukukhumbula nosapho malunga neenkumbulo ezixabisekileyo kunye nokwenza iinkumbulo ezintsha kunye. Iholide ikwalixesha loxinzelelo kunye nokungqubana okunokubakho kwiintsapho eziphantsi koxinzelelo lokudibanisa ukuba uqhagamshelo lwaphulwe nangayiphi na indlela. Abantu abafumana umzali ongabhalwanga ngendlela efanelekileyo, okwaziwa njengeziganeko ezingezizo ezabo (i-NPE), bayayiqonda into yokuba ukwaphulwa komthetho kunye nobunzima obudalayo kwimicimbi yosapho. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbini zokujongana neencoko zosapho kunye nokunxibelelana ngeeholide nangaphaya: inyani eyahlukileyo kwiimvakalelo, kwaye uze nesicwangciso.

Masisebenzise umzekelo kaJane wasentsomini, owafumanisa ukuba unoyise owahlukileyo kunokuba wayekhuliswe ukuba akholelwe, nto leyo eyamnceda ukuba aqonde ukuba kutheni eziva ahlukile kwelinye icala losapho. Ukufumanisa akukhange kuphucule ukuguquguquka kwelo cala losapho lakwaJane- eneneni, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kuyenza mandundu. UJane uzibona etyhalela ukuya kuMbulelo walo nyaka kuba icala losapho limphatha ngokungakhathali xa bengathobeli umzabalazo wakhe. Banokuthetha izinto ezinje, "Andiqondi ukuba kutheni ufuna ukwenza oku ?! Kutheni le nto kufuneka uyifumanise le nto usonzakalise sonke?! ” Umntu usenokumcela ukuba angaphindi athethe ngayo, okanye agcine imfihlo, aqhubeke nengxaki.

Inyaniso eyahlukileyo kwiMvakalelo

Ndicinga ukuba eyona ndawo ingcono onokuqala kuyo nayiphi na ingxaki sisiqalo, uchaze izizathu zokuba kukho into ekhoyo, efuna indlela yengqondo. Ukwahlula-hlula kwinyani kwiimvakalelo kuthetha ukuchonga apho kukho ukugqwethwa kweemvakalelo, kwaye eyona ndlela ingaguquguqukiyo ephumeleleyo endiye ndazimisela ukuba oku kuyenzeka kukubhala phantsi. Xa sigcina unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo ezingqondweni zethu-iliso, ziye zibe yinto engalunganga-ubugqwetha bokwenyani. Ezo zinto zikhutshelweyo emva koko zisebenza njengesiseko sokuqonda kwethu, esikhokelela kukucinga nge-heuristic; Umgaqo wesithupha ucinga ukuba siyazibandakanya ukwenza ulwazi oluninzi okanye okungaziwayo.

Cinga ngeprojekthi yomsebenzi ongayithandiyo. Amathuba awuyithandi kuba uwubona njengomsebenzi omkhulu, ukuthatha ixesha elinzima kunye nokucinga okuntsonkothileyo ngezinto onokungaziqondi ngokupheleleyo kodwa okulindele iziphumo ezingalunganga. Ukuzibekel 'amangomso kunye nokuthintela zizalathio ozisebenzisa kwi-heuristics ekholelwa ukuba inzima kakhulu okanye inzima, kwaye loo nto ayifani kwaphela kunendlela esisebenzisana ngayo ne-dynamics yosapho enzima okanye engafunekiyo.

Phambi kokuya kwindibano yosapho elandelayo, okanye nayiphi na incoko emnxebeni nosapho, khupha usiba kunye nephepha ukumisela ukuba yinyani eyiyo kwaye uziva ntoni. Ukubhala oku ezantsi kwiikholamu ezimbini kukuziqhelanisa nengqondo kokwenza izinto ezigqwethiweyo ezingabonakaliyo. Vumela ukuba ususe ukugweba ngokwakho malunga nokuba kufuneka uzive ngenye indlela okanye cha. Vumela nje ukuba ihambe.

Olunye uncedo lokukunceda uqalise kulo msebenzi kukuqala ngombuzo "kutheni?" Kutheni le nto usapho lukaJane lusebenzisa i-microaggressions kwaye luyiphatha ngokwahlukileyo? Impendulo kukuba, ayinanto yakwenza noJane. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziyinxalenye yezithethe zentlalo yosapho lwakhe eyafundiswa ngexesha ababekhuliswe ngalo; inkcubeko kunye neempembelelo zonqulo ezabumba kwaye zadluliselwa kwisizukulwana. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba ngubani uJane okanye yintoni ayifumanisileyo, kuba nabani na ongahambelaniyo nemeko ekuyiyo uya kufumana unyango olufanayo kwiinzame zokuyibuyisela kwisiseko. Nje ukuba uJane aqonde ukuba ayisiyiyo ingxaki yakhe, angadlulela kwicandelo leemvakalelo.

Kwikholam yeemvakalelo, uJane angabhala ukuba uziva enomsindo, elusizi kwaye ekhuselekile ngenxa yokuziphatha kwabo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda umahluko phakathi kweenyani kunye neemvakalelo nangona enye inokubangela enye. Ukuqhubela phambili, uJane unokuphonononga iinkolelo eziphambili zangaphakathi kwiminyaka-engathandekiyo, engabalulekanga okanye engafunekiyo-ukuze aziqonde ngakumbi.

Xa sonzakele, sihlala sizijongela phantsi iimvakalelo zelinye icala ngenxa yokuzikhusela okanye ubulungisa. Iimvakalelo zabo zichonga izizathu zabo, njengoko zisenza kuJane.Esinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo zempixano luloyiko, mhlawumbi oyena mntu ukhuthazayo. Uloyiko lokungazinzi kunye nokugxothwa eluntwini kunefuthe kusapho olusebenzayo lomsindo ukulwa amalungu ukuba athobele.

Ukwenza iSicwangciso

Ukulungiselela into ethile kuphucula ngakumbi amandla okujongana nayo. Ukulungiselela ukulungela imeko yezakhono zokuphila ngaphandle, uJane unokuzilungiselela ukuhlangana nosapho ngokucwangcisa iimpendulo zakhe kwiingxaki ezilindelekileyo ngohlobo lwe-flow-chart. Ihlala isetyenziswa kwishishini ukwenza izigqibo zobuchule ngokubikezela kwangaphambili, inokuphinda ibuye isebenze njengesixhobo seengqondo sokucwangcisa iincoko kunye nemida.

Kumzekelo kaJane, angazibhala phantsi izimvo ezilindelweyo kunye nokuziphatha okulindelweyo kubo aze ke axoxe ngeempendulo ngokusekwe kwiinjongo anazo. Umzekelo, enye yeenjongo zikaJane inokuba kukuzimela ngokufanelekileyo okanye ukuthatha isimilo sabo kancinci (kuba ayinguye ngaye). Ngokusekwe kwezi njongo, uJane angayila iimpendulo ezisisiseko ekuqondeni kwakhe ukuba usapho luziva lusongelwa kodwa ayiloxanduva lakhe ukubasindisa kwiimpazamo ezenziwe sisizukulwana ngokuqhubeka nokugcina imfihlo.

UJane angakususa ukuzikhusela kwiimpendulo zakhe ukukhuthaza ukuzithemba. Unokukhumbula ngentloko iimpendulo zegama negama kwi-passive-ndlongondlongo okanye kuthetha izimvo ezixhasa injongo yakhe yemida. Indlela entle yokwenza oku kukubuza imibuzo, enje ngala, “Ndiyakuxelela uzive usoyikiswa yinto endiyifumeneyo kwaye ndingathanda ukwazi ngakumbi malunga nokuba kutheni usoyikiswa - woyika ukuba ingenzeka ngoku ndiyaziyo?” Ukuzikhusela kuhambile xa uJane enokubuza loo mbuzo ngaphandle kwempendulo yokulawula indlela avakalelwa ngayo ngaye. Nokuba yeyiphi na impendulo yabo, uyayazi into ayifunayo, ukuba ilungile kuye kwaye iimvakalelo zabo ngayo azibonisi ukubaluleka kwakhe.

Wonke umntu uvunyelwe ukuba neemvakalelo kwaye oko kwenza ukuba iimvakalelo zomntu wonke zivumeleke kubo. Akufanele kube yinjongo kaJane ukutshintsha iimvakalelo zabo okanye iingqondo-ezingaphandle kolawulo lwakhe. Nangona kunjalo, uJane unokufumana ulungelelwaniso lweemvakalelo ngakumbi ukuba angakhumbula nakuphi na ukuhlangana okuhle kule minyaka idlulileyo kwaye adibanise abo kwisikali alinganisa esibi kubo. Utyekelo lokulibala ukuba namava amnandi enza ukuba ukwenziwa ngokubanzi, okususa ukucinga okuqiqayo.

Ukuba inxalenye yeenjongo zikaJane kukugcina ubudlelwane kunye nosapho ngaphandle kwengxabano ayifumeneyo, kuya kufuneka athathe isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi imida. Ukuza kuthi ga kwinqanaba elingakanani ukuba anyamezele izimvo ezithethwayo kunye nokuziphatha okungakhathaliyo ngaphambi kokucela umda? Ngelo xesha, umda ungabonakala ngathi unciphise unxibelelwano okanye uyeke izihloko ezithile kwincoko. Yonke loo nto inokongezwa kwi-flowchart yokunceda ukuhambisa iimpendulo zakhe kunye nokwenza uluvo lolawulo kwinto uJane angazange ayive ngathi unearhente ngaphambili. Abantu baya kungqina kuwe ukuba bangobani ukuba uyafuna ukumamela. Ke usapho lukaJane lunokungqina ukuba abanako okanye abanqweneli ukuhlonipha imida yakhe kwaye ingxaki iya kukhokelela kwiseti entsha yeempendulo ezivela kuJane ngokusekwe kwinto athe wayibeka kwimephu.

Ngomsebenzi wokubhala, nabani na angafunda ukuba iimvakalelo zabo zivela phi, zeziphi izibakala ezibangela iimvakalelo kunye nokuba iimvakalelo zibaphembelela ukuba benze ntoni. Oko kuvumela umgama othile kwiimvakalelo eziguqula unxibelelwano olungcono. Nge-flow-chart, ukuba isicwangciso-qhinga sivumela ukuziqhelanisa nonxibelelwano olusempilweni ukuze kuphumelele iinjongo. Akukho mntu unamandla okonzakalisa njengosapho, kuba akukho mntu umelwe kukukhathalela intlalontle yethu.