Ukufumana ukungazinzi: Ukoyisa amaxhala kunye noxinzelelo

Umxholo

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• Ukungazithembi okungapheliyo: Phakathi kweLiwa kunye neNdawo eNzima

Kuwo nawuphi na unyaka onikiweyo malunga nama-40 ezigidi zabantu baseMelika baya kuva ubunzima ekudibaneni nokudakumba noxinzelelo. Ngaphezulu kwexesha lokuphila kwakho, kukho iipesenti ezingama-25 zokuba ufumane isifo sokuxhalaba. Eli linqanaba elimangalisayo lenkxwaleko. Kubonakala ngathi siziqhelanise nomgaqo omtsha-omnye wokungonwabi. Siqhele ukuhlala-kwaye siqhelekile-ubhubhane woxinzelelo.

Ukuba abantu abazizigidi ezingama-40 bagule ngesiquphe, iZiko loLawulo lweZifo liza kusebenza ngaphezulu kwexesha ukufumana unobangela kunye nonyango. Njengenkcubeko, sijonga kuphela phezulu kwisizathu sokukhathazeka kwaye sigxile kunyango-ikakhulu kulawulo ngamayeza. Kufuneka senze ngcono kakhulu. Njengengcali ye-psychotherapist, bendijonge ukuba kutheni sisokola ngoluhlobo. Lixesha lokuba siphazamise ukungakhathali kwethu malunga nexhoba lethu.

Uxinzelelo yinto eqhelekileyo kubomi bethu obungxamile. Singajonga uxinzelelo njengesiqhamo sokuziqhelanisa nemiceli mngeni esijongene nayo. Uxinzelelo sisiphumo sokuzibandakanya kwethu ngokunzulu nobomi okungakhokelela ekukhuleni, kwimfundo emitsha nakwimveliso. Kodwa xa uxinzelelo lujika lube luxinzelelo luthintela ukuba sikwazi ukuhlala kakuhle, ukuhlala ngokonwaba. Uxinzelelo lubala kuxinzelelo. Ke, umbuzo ngulo: Kutheni le nto sihlupheka kule nto yoxinzelelo? Nantsi into endiyifundileyo.

Ukuxhalaba-kumthombo wayo-kubangelwa lulwalamano lwethu neengcinga zethu. Ngokukodwa ezi ziingcinga ezihlala zifuna ukuqiniseka. Sifuna ukwazi ukuba ikamva liza kuzisa ntoni, kwaye iyakuba yintoni imiphumo yezigqibo zethu. Kodwa elo kamva alaziwa. Kwaye ke, siya kuba nexhala njengoko sizama ukunqanda into esingayaziyo. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni singabikho kumjelo wobomi njengoko sizama ukubamba ingomso. Zibuze, “Yintoni ebangela ukuba ndikhathazeke?” Ngaba inento yokwenza nokungaqiniseki kwakho ngekamva, uloyiko lwakho malunga nokwenza izigqibo?

Bendi sebenza nomntu obhinqileyo ophakathi owayeze kubona ezakhe ixhala malunga nekamva lakhe. Wayetshatile engonwabanga ixesha elide kwaye wabelana ukuba yena nomyeni wakhe bebengaphumelelanga kunyango lomtshato. Babekhulile ngokwahlukana, bephikisana kwaye bengafani kangako.Wayeziva ukuba umtshato wakhe wawurhuqa ebomini bakhe. Ngenxa yokuba wayengenamntwana kwaye wayezimeleyo ngokwezezimali ndabuza ukuba kutheni ekhetha ukuhlala etshatile. Uthe, "Andazi ukuba ndingangubani njengomfazi oqhawule umtshato."

Yayikhona. Uloyiko lwakhe kwindawo angayaziyo- eyamnika isiqabu kunye namathuba amatsha- wamgcina ejele enexhala. Ngokwenyani wayekhetha ukuhlala kabuhlungu kwinto eyaziwayo kunokuba ajongane nokungaqiniseki kwendlela eyahlukileyo-enokuthi izise uvuyo kuye. Umbuzo, "Ndingaba ngubani na?" umkhenkceze luloyiko.

Simema ukungaqiniseki kwiinkalo ezininzi zobomi bethu. Siyakonwabela ukubukela imidlalo kunye neemovie ngenxa yovuyo lokungazi. Kodwa kubomi bethu bobuqu siye siminxeke ngokuxelwa kwangaphambili nangokuqiniseka. Ukufuna ukuqikelela kugxibha ubudlelwane bethu, ukwazi kwethu kunye nokuzibandakanya kwethu ebomini.

Ke siye sanamathela njani kwimfuneko yokwazi ikamva kwangaphambili? Ndilanda unobangela kwisazinzulu esikhulu senkulungwane ye-17 u-Isaac Newton. Wayalela ukuba ukuba sinolwazi olwaneleyo -kuya namhlanje singayibiza loo datha-sinokuqikelela ikamva ngokufanelekileyo. Oku kwaziwa njenge-determinism. Kwaye singamakhoboka ale ndlela yokucinga.

Ukuzimisela kusincedile ngeendlela ezininzi, kodwa kakhulu kukhokelele kwizifo ezininzi. Siphila ubomi ngokungathi sidlala umdlalo wechess. Sihlala phantsi kwaye sibala inyathelo lethu elilandelayo. Sisenokukhathazeka ngenxa yokuba isigqibo sethu siza kuba “yimpazamo.” Silahla kwaye sidayisa kwaye sihlalutya iziphumo ezinokubakho zezigqibo zethu kwaye siyekiswa ngumkhenkce. Asihambeli phambili njengoko olu xinzelelo loloyiko luthintela ukuhamba kwethu kobomi. Ukuba uziva uxhalabile malunga nokwenza izigqibo, usenokuba ulikhoboka lokufuna ukuqikelela.

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Ukungazithembi okungapheliyo: Phakathi kweLiwa kunye neNdawo eNzima