Ukuba nabantwana kunokwenza iminyaka ibonakale idlula ngokukhawuleza

Uluvo lokuba ubomi bethu buyakhawulezisa njengoko sikhula lisasazeke kangangokuba kuye kwaba bubulumko obuqhelekileyo. Ndibhalile ngeziphumo zam zophando ukusuka ku-2005 kwithuba elidlulileyo Psychology Namhlanje ngeposi blog, apho safumana kwi-500 yaseAustria naseJamani abaphendule umbuzo othi "Ikhawuleze kangakanani le minyaka ili-10 idlulileyo?" ukonyuka okuxhomekeke kubudala kwiimvakalelo zokuhamba kwexesha. Oku kukhawuleziswa kobomi obuzimeleyo kunye nokwanda kweminyaka kwabonakala kulutsha ukuya kuthi ga kubantu abadala, kwiqela eliphakathi kweminyaka eli-14 ukuya kwengama-59. Kubonakala ngathi ithafa lifikelelwa kubudala beminyaka engama-60. Esi siphumo ngoku siphindaphindwe ngabantu abavela eNetherlands naseNew Zealand, kunye nabathathi-nxaxheba baseJapan.

Inkcazo esemgangathweni yesi siphumo sobudala ekuboneni kwexesha inxulumene nememori engobomi. Xa sijonga ngasemva kubomi bethu, sixhomekeke kwimemori ukugweba ixesha. Iziganeko ezinomdla kunye neemvakalelo zigcinwe kwimemori ngexesha elinikiweyo, ixesha elide livakala ukuba lihleli xa ujonga ngasemva. Njengokuba sikhula, siya sisiba sisiqhelo ngakumbi kubomi bethu, kwaye ukunqongophala kwezinto ezintsha kukhokelela ekwehleni kwinani leziganeko ezonwabisayo ezigcinwe kwimemori. Isifundo esivela kwa-Israyeli sibonisile ukuba imeko yesiqhelo ebomini, kokubini eseholideyini nasemsebenzini, ikhokelela ekuhambeni kwexesha ngokukhawuleza.

Inani elandayo lemisebenzi yesiqhelo, ebaluleke ngokukodwa ukufikelela kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla nabantwana kunye nokubanika ubume kunye nemvakalelo yokhuseleko, kunokuba nefuthe elinamandla kwimemori ye-autobiografi kubazali. Oku kunokubangela ixesha lokuhamba ngokukhawuleza ukuba likhawuleze ngokubonakalayo kubantu abadala abanabantwana xa kuthelekiswa nabantu abadala abangenabantwana. Kuba akukho bungqina bunamandla ukuza kuthi ga ngoku obuxeliwe kuncwadi lophando malunga nale hypothesis, uNathalie Mella waseDyunivesithi yaseGeneva eSwitzerland kwaye ndihlalutye idatha yam yakudala yokufunda ukusuka ku-2005 kwaye sabhala inqaku elisandula kupapashwa kwiphephancwadi. Ixesha kunye nokuqonda kwexesha .

Sifumene umahluko ocacileyo, phakathi kwabantu abadala abanabantwana kunye nabantu abadala abangenabo, kumava aphantsi kwexesha elidlulileyo leminyaka eli-10. Xa kuthelekiswa la maqela mabini, kwacaca ukuba kubantu abadala abanabantwana, ixesha elingaphezulu kweminyaka eli-10 elidlulileyo lidlulile ngokukhawuleza ngokuthe ngqo. Lo mahluko awuzange ubonwe kwixesha elifutshane lobomi beveki, inyanga, kunye nonyaka. Iziphumo ezinxulumene neminyaka eli-10 eyadlulayo zabonwa kuphela kumaqela obudala phakathi kwe-20 kunye ne-59, iminyaka yobudala ikuluhlu lokukhulisa abantwana, hayi kubantu abadala. Unxibelelwano oluncinci oluqinisekileyo phakathi kwenani labantwana kunye nokuqonda kwesantya sexesha kwafunyanwa.

Iziphumo zicacile. Nangona kunjalo, ukutolika akunjalo. Enye inkcazo enokubakho ngomahluko osifumeneyo ilele ekuboneni ukuba abantwana bakhula ngokukhawuleza kangakanani. Ngaphezulu kweminyaka eli-10, abantwana bahamba notshintsho olukhulu kungekuphela kwimbonakalo yomzimba kodwa nakwimeko yokuqonda kwabo kunye nenqanaba labo. Ukufumana olo tshintsho luphawulekayo emntwini esihlala naye, ngelixa abantu abadala betshintsha kancinci, kunokubangela umbono wexesha elikhawulezayo. Olu luvo lokuqonda lunokunceda ukucacisa ukuba kutheni abazali becinga ukuba ixesha lidlule ngokukhawuleza.

Enye inkcazo kukuba abazali banikezela ixesha labo elininzi kubantwana babo kwaye banexesha elincinci elifunekayo. Imvakalelo yokuba nexesha elincinci kubo inokubangela uluvo lokuba ixesha lidlule ngokukhawuleza kakhulu kuba ixesha elichithwe kubomi babo lancitshiswa ngokuchanekileyo. Okokugqibela, ukuba nabantwana kuthathwa njengenyathelo elibalulekileyo ebomini, kwaye ukubonakalisa ukuwela lo mqobo ebomini bakho kunokuba nefuthe kwimemori engobomi. Izifundo ezongezelelweyo kufuneka ziphande nzulu ngakumbi kwiindlela ezisisiseko zempembelelo yobuzali ekukhawuleziseni ixesha lokuhamba.