Ikhaya leeholide?

Ndikhumbula ndisemncinci ndiva ingcebiso zokuphepha ingxoxo malunga nenkolo nezopolitiko kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa. Ekuqaleni bendi ngasiqondi isizathu. Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndafunda ukuba ezi zihloko zinokukhokelela ekukhathazekeni ngokukhawuleza, ukuphakamisa amazwi, kwaye ngokunyanisekileyo, isisu.Ukuthabatha yayikukwenza konke onako ukunqanda ungquzulwano kwizidlo zangeCawa nakwiindibano zeholide. Kuphephe oko kungathandekiyo. Gcina uxolo ngokuhlala ucacile kwizihloko ezinokubangela ukungavisisani.

Ngelixa kungekho namnye kuthi ofuna idrama ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa, siphulukana nento ngokuphepha izihloko ezibalulekileyo. Ngokugcina ukuthetha ngokungakhathali nabo sidla nabo kunye nabo sibathandayo, siphoswa ngamathuba okwazana ngokwenene nokufunda kwabo sinemibono eyahlukileyo.

Ngeeholide apha, uninzi lwethu luza kudibana namalungu osapho esingaboniyo okanye ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nawo. Unokuthatha isigqibo sokuncamathela kwizihloko ezikhululekileyo zencoko: iivenkile, iinkqubo ezithandwayo zeNetflix, okanye nomsebenzi wakho, kuphela kwinqanaba eliphezulu, ewe.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uziva unomdla ngakumbi, ngeli xesha leholide ndifuna ukukucela umngeni kukumba nzulu. Siphakathi kwenkqubo yempazamo, kwaye unokuba nezimvo malunga noku. Mhlawumbi unemibono malunga nezigqibo zeNkundla ePhakamileyo yase-U.S., Abagqatswa beDemokhrasi kumongameli wase-US, okanye imiba eyenzeka kwiCawe yamaKatolika? Ukuba esinye sezi zihloko siza kwindibano yosapho lwakho, ndifuna ukuba uzilungiselele. Endaweni yokujonga kwelinye icala okanye wenze ngathi awuyivanga into eyenzekileyo, ndiyakumema ukuba ubandakanyeke. Ndifuna ukukunika izixhobo eziza kukunceda uthethe phezulu kodwa umamele. Andikukhuthazi ukungxolisana kwezimvo, kodwa ke ndiyathemba ukuba uyakuzibandakanya nesibindi, ukuthembeka kunye nokuzithoba.

Kodwa ungabuza njani. Ukuphefumlelwa yincwadi endibhalileyo, Lixesha lokuthetha (kwaye Mamela): Indlela yokuzibandakanya kwiincoko zenkcubeko malunga nogqatso, iklasi, isini, amandla kunye nesini kwilizwe elinamacandelo , Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda ukulungele ukuqalisa kunye nokufumana iingxoxo ezinzima kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa.

• Chonga ukuba yintoni injongo yakho. Ufuna ukuba kwenzeke ntoni ngokuzibandakanya kwincoko? Imizekelo yeenjongo zezi: “Ndifuna ukuzimela”; “Ndifuna ukumela iqela elijongelwa phantsi”; "Ndifuna ukwabelana ngombono ohlukileyo, ukunceda ukufaka isandla kwingxoxo". Ziphephe iinjongo ezimalunga nokutshintsha iingqondo zabantu okanye ukuthulisa abanye. Ayisiyo ncoko leyo, ihlala iyindlela eya kwintetho enye.
• Lungiselela imiqobo enokukuphazamisa. Yintoni enokuthi iphazamise ukufezekisa le njongo? Thatha uluhlu lwemiqobo yangaphakathi. Ngaba woyika ukucaphukisa umakhulu wakho? Ngaba ukhathazekile kukuba abantwana etafileni banokumamela kwaye babe nefuthe elibi kutshintshiselwano? Ngaba ukhathazekile umsindo wakho unokufumana okungcono kuwe kwaye uthathe indawo? Ukuchonga izithintelo zangaphandle ezinokuthi zingene endleleni nazo. Alonelanga ixesha? Imbali yegazi elibi kunye nelungu elithile losapho? Ngokwazi ukuba yeyiphi imiqobo enokuthintela incoko yokwenyani, uyawandisa amathuba akho okuba usebenze ngempumelelo okanye ucwangcise macala onke kubo.

• Zithobe phambi kokuba uhlale phantsi ukuze uthethe nabanye. Thatha umoya ophefumlayo. Qala endaweni yoxolo kunye nokucaca ngaphambi kokutshintshiselana ngamagama. Zizibophele kwindawo ezolileyo ngokuzicingela ukuba ungene ngaphakathi kwixabiso lakho eliphambili. Lithini ixabiso eliphambili, ubuza. Amaxabiso asisiseko akubeka kwaye yeyona khampasi yakho ifanelekileyo xa usenza izigqibo ebomini bakho. Imizekelo yamaxabiso asisiseko kukunyaniseka, isibindi, ukholo, ithemba, unyamezelo, ukomelela, ukuthembeka nothando. Ndingaqhubeka, kodwa ufumana umbono. Ungazixhoma ekuthandeni usapho lwakho; uyabathanda kwaye ke kufanelekile ukuthatha umngcipheko wokuba nale ncoko. Ungayama ngokholo ukukhokela incoko yakho; awuqinisekanga ncam ukuba kuzakwenzeka ntoni, kodwa unokholo lokuba izakuphumelela. Elinye ixabiso olithandayo sisibindi. Thembela kwisibindi sokufumana le ncoko inzima. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kunokwenzeka ukuba kubekho idessert emnandi emva kokuba ugqibe intetho kunye nesidlo!
• Cwangcisa inqanaba ngesivuli. Yazisa umphulaphuli ukuba "uza ngoxolo." Imizekelo yabavulayo yile, “Ndiyakhathala ngawe, kwaye ke ndifuna ukuthetha nawe ngento ebaluleke kakhulu kum,” okanye “Ndiyathandabuza ukuyazisa le nto, kodwa ndicinga ukuba ibalulekile, kwaye ke ndizakuzama, ”okanye“ ndingathanda ukujongana nento enesihloko esishushu. Ndiqinisekile ukuba singamelana xa sithetha ngale nto kunye. ”
• Khumbula ukumamela. Nje ukuba uhambise umyalezo wakho kwaye wabelane ngeengcinga zakho, ngoku lithuba lakho lokuba zonke iindlebe. Njengokutsho kukaGqirha Miguel Gallardo kudliwanondlebe lwakutshanje lwe-Cultural Humility podcast, "Sanikwa iindlebe ezimbini nomlomo omnye ngesizathu." Sukuzikhusela. Sukuvala. Sukugxila ekucwangciseni into oza kuyithetha ngokulandelayo. Mamela ngenene. Vula intliziyo yakho kwizimvo zomnye umntu, nokuba awuvumelani.
• Bulela umntu ngendlela yokwenyani ngokukuva, ukuchitha ixesha nawe, okanye nokuvuma ukungavumi. Awunyanzelekanga ukuba uyithande into ethethwe ngomnye umntu, kodwa usenokubulela ngobukho babo kunye nokuzimisela ukudibana nawe kwincoko.

Ngezi ngcebiso ngesandla, ndinqwenela ukuba iiholide zizele ziincoko ezisuka entliziyweni.