Ungazenza njani iinguqu kubuntu bakho

Ubuntu benziwe ngeendlela ezihlala ixesha elide sicinga, siziphatha, kwaye sibonisa iimvakalelo zethu. Abantu abaninzi babhala okanye bandibuze, “ndizenza njani iinguqu kwindlela endiyiyo? Ngaba kunokwenzeka? ” Ewe kunokwenzeka.

Akukho namnye kuthi olawula indlela abazali abasikhulisa ngayo ebumba ubuntu bethu. Kodwa singazilungisa ezinye zeendlela abasibumbe ngazo okanye basimisa ngokweemvakalelo njengabantwana ezingasisebenzisi kakuhle njengabantu abadala. Kubalulekile ukuba senze olo tshintsho ukuze sikwazi ukuba ngabona bantu balungileyo sinokuba ngabo. Ndiza kubonelela ngamanyathelo amahlanu anokuba luncedo kule nkqubo.

Ukuzifundela ngaphakathi ngokwakho – Qala ukuqaphela

Ukuqala kufuneka ujonge ngaphakathi kuwe ukuba ungubani . Qala ngokufumanisa indlela yokuzijonga ngokwakho . Yonke imihla jonga wonke umntu onxibelelana naye. Jonga ukuba benza njani, bacinge kwaye babonise iimvakalelo. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, jonga indlela ophendula ngayo kumntu ngamnye. Zibuze le mibuzo: Uziva njani? Ingaba ucinga ntoni? Uziphatha njani ngalowo nalowo? Unokufuna ukuthatha incwadi yokubhala kwaye urekhode umbono wakho njengoko usenza lo msebenzi.

Buza imibuzo

Ngokubandakanyeka komntu ngamnye nawe, buza imibuzo kuye ngamnye. Kutheni walila, wahleka, wanomsindo? Kutheni ucinga lonto? Kutheni uziphathe ngale ndlela? Ukubuza imibuzo kuthintela ukucinga ukuba omnye umntu ucinga ntoni kwaye uziva njani. Ukuqikelela okunjalo kubangela usukuzwano lobudlelwane.

Iindima ezizenzekelayo

Ngaba uyasabela kubantu abakwinqwelo-mafutha, ngendlela edolweni? UHomer B. Martin, MD kunye nam sibhala malunga nokuzenzekelayo ngokweemvakalelo kunye neendima ezenzeka kubudlelwane kwincwadi yethu, Ukuphila ngokuzenzekelayo . Sifumanise ukuba iimpendulo ezizenzekelayo ngoyena nobangela weembambano zonxibelelwano. Kuza kunceda ukuba ukwazi ukubona abo bantu usabela kubo ngendlela ezenzekelayo.

Yenza uluhlu lwezinto ocinga ukuba zinjani ngawe. Chonga ukuba ngaba uwa kwindlela eyipateni yokunxibelelana nabanye ngokujonga unxibelelwano lwakho nabahlobo abasondeleyo kunye nosapho. Ngaba ungazichonga iindima zabo ezizenzekelayo, ezinengcinga ethile ngokubhekisele kuwe?

Rekhoda zonke iinkcukacha ezinje: Ngubani othe ntoni? Kwenzekentoni? Uziva njani? Uziva njani omnye umntu? Zibuze ukuba ngubani obiza izithonga- wena okanye omnye umntu? Ngubani ohamba nabani ukuphepha ukungavisisani? Ngubani onceda bani? Ngaba omnye umntu ulahla omnye? Ngaba omnye wenu usebenzisa okanye ufuna?

Vavanya iimeko

Kubudlelwane obuninzi, siyazibetha ngoyaba iimeko ezikhoyo kwaye siphendule ngendlela efanayo esihlala sinayo, nokuba kuqhubeka ntoni. Indlela ejikeleze oku kuku vavanya okufanelekileyo ngoku . Zibuze: Leliphi elona nyathelo lisengqiqweni ekufuneka ulithathile? Indlela yokucinga malunga noku? Indlela yokubonisa iimvakalelo zam? Yonke into kufuneka ivavanywe kwezi ndawo zintathu: ngeli xesha langoku, kule meko, kwaye ziziphi izibonelelo eziluncedo kum nakomnye umntu.

Sebenzisa iZakhono zokuCinga

Isenzo esigqitha iimpendulo ezikwiimvakalelo zabanye ukucinga . Ukucinga ukuba kufuneka ucothise indlela ophendula ngayo, ngokungathi uyibeka kancinci. Xa ucothisa unxibelelwano lwakho ngokwaneleyo, unokucinga malunga nokwenza. Xa uziva impendulo ezenzekelayo iza nomnye umntu, zama ukuthi, "Makhe ndicinge ngale nto kwaye ndikwazise iingcinga zam kamva."

Zama iNdlela yokuziphatha

Ukuthintela ukwenza le nto ubusoloko uyenza kubudlelwane bakho, unokuzama indlela entsha. Oku kubandakanya ukwenza into engaqhelekanga kuwe. Ukuba uqhele ukunyanzelisa, ukukhohlisa okanye ukudibanisa ukufumana into oyifunayo, zama nje ukubuza ngombuzo oqonde ngqo ngaphandle kokugquma ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukuba uqhele ukunikezela kwaye uxole abanye kubudlelwane, zama ukuthetha. Usenokuthi, “Enkosi ngeengcinga zakho. Ngoku mandikuxelele eyam. ”

Umgangatho wokuqiqa

Ukuzijonga ngaphakathi akuyondlwan 'iyanetha. Uqhelene nokuphendula kwabanye ngendlela ecwangcisiweyo yokufunda njengomntwana. Ukulungisa oku kuthatha ixesha kunye nokuzimisela kwengqondo. Uya kube uphazamisa iimpendulo ezindala ezizenzekelayo, ezibonisa ukungacacanga kwabanye kwaye ubeke endaweni yazo iimpendulo ezithile ngokusekwe kwiinkcukacha zelo xesha. Ngeli xesha nakule meko ndifuna ntoni kunye nomnye umntu? Lo ngumbuzo omtsha oya kuwubuza ngalo lonke ixesha udibana nomnye umntu.

Uya kuzinceda ngokwakho ukwamkela umgangatho wokuqiqa endaweni yokuphendula ngokuzenzekelayo ekhokelela kungxabano kunye nokungonwabi. Ngokwenza le nkqubo uza kufunda ukusondela ebantwini –– kuquka nawe –– njengoko kunjalo emzuzwini onikiweyo. Awuyi kuvumela abanye ukuba bangabacingeli okanye bangabinangqiqo nawe kwaye ngekhe uvume ukuba unjalo nabanye. Awusayi kuphinda uhlehliswe kukweyiseka kweemvakalelo. Uya kuyiphepha indlela yokuziphatha engenangqondo efundwe ebuntwaneni. Uya konwaba kwaye uya kuphucula ubudlelwane bakho.