Njani ukuba uNarcissist angakuThoba

Umxholo

• Ukufundwa okubalulekileyo kweNarcissism
• Ukuhlengahlengiswa kolawulo: Izinto esizenzayo kuNarcissist

Yintoni le malunga nokuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo okushiya umntu ekrunekile intloko kwaye ezibuza ukuba kwenzeke ntoni kanye kanye? I-narcissist inokuphazamisa umntu ngemizuzu, ngenxa yemicimbi yabo. Ukuyithetha le nto iyakudida, ikothuse, okanye ikuphose kumdlalo wakho yinto ephantsi. Kodwa kutheni isenzeka? Yintoni le inobuntu etshabalalisa abantu kubudlelwane?

Ukuqonda okuqhelekileyo kwe-narcissism ngumntu oqhayisayo kunye nekratshi, okanye konke malunga neziqu zabo. Kodwa yinto enzulu kakhulu, kwaye inzima nangakumbi yengqondo. I-narcissist ihlala ingakwazi ukubona impembelelo yokuziphatha kwabo ngenxa yokuba baphume kwiimvakalelo zabo.

Ilitye lembombo lobuntu kukuswela uvelwano-ukungabinako ukujonga imeko yeemvakalelo zabanye. Xa kusenzeka izinto ezimbi, abanye batyholwa; ii-narcissists aziphenduli ngokuziphatha kwazo. Xa beneemvakalelo ezimbi, ezo mvakalelo zichazwe kwabanye. Ngaphantsi kwezantsi, i-narcissist inokuthi ibe nokuzicekisa, kunye ne-ego ebuthathaka kakhulu. Ingqondo yabo yesiqu sabo ilahlekile okanye ayiphuhliswanga. Banesidingo sokulunga kwaye baphumelele kuzo zonke iindleko, kwaye ekubeni ukusinda kwabo kanye kuxhomekeke koku, abayeki bade badilize abanye ukuze bazive bebakhulu okanye bengaphezulu. Iinzame zokuqiqa nabo zihlala zilahlekile. Uya kubekwa ityala ngokubenza bazive bengalunganga, kwaye banokuba nempindezelo kwaye bangaze baphinde bazive bonzakele.

Enye yezinto eziyingozi ezenzekayo xa ubandakanyeka kwi-narcissist kukuba amandla abo okuphelisa ukuzithemba kunokukhokelela ekubeni ungazithembi. Abantu abaphuma kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissists bahlala benemvakalelo yokuba abanakulunga ngokwaneleyo. Bafumana ukukhubazeka kokungazithembi ngenxa yokuba baxelelwe ixesha elide ukuba baphosakele ngandlela thile. Njengomfundi ongaziwayo ungandibhalela:

“Omnye wemizekelo endiyithandayo: Umyeni wam wangaphambili akazange ahlawule ityala lokukhanya. Wabuya ekhaya enomsindo kukuba mna nabantwana sisebenzisa amakhandlela. Ndambonisa ityala elibi kwaye wakhwaza wathi, ‘Ndalihlawula elo tyala, uza kuwakholelwa amehlo akho okanye mna?’ Njengoko sasimi apho ebumnyameni. ”

Unokuzibuza ukuba inokwenzeka njani le nto -yinxalenye yengxaki. Kubalulekile ukwetyisa kwaye uqonde ukusebenza kwe-narcissist okanye uya kushiyeka udidekile kwaye uzonwaya entloko. Umntu kufuneka abubone ubuntu ukuba buyintoni. Kodwa xa uthanda umntu, oku kunokuba nzima ukukwenza. Isenokuba ngumzali wakho, iqabane lakho, umphathi omthandayo, okanye umntu othile kwisangqa sakho esikhulu osithandayo.

Kutheni le nto sikhohliswa zii-narcissists? Kuqala, bazibonakalisa ngokwabo ngendlela ezukileyo, yokuzithemba, nokuthandeka. Xa uqala ukudibana, ungafikelwa ngumtsalane wabo kunye nempumelelo. Yindlela ye-narcissist ukuzama ukuphumelela kuyo. Banokukwenza oku ngezipho, amagama anomtsalane, ukuhlonelwa, kunye nezincomo onqwenela ukuzikholelwa. Kodwa ukuba ijongeka intle kakhulu ukuba iyinyani, inokuba kunjalo.

Umthengi kutshanje undixelele ukuba uthandana nendoda ethi, emva kweenyanga ezimbini, ibithetha ngokuthenga iringi, ukuhlala kunye, ukuba neentsana, nokucwangcisa ubomi kunye. Wayefuna ukukholelwa ukuba le yayiyimeko yokuqala yothando. Oku kuyaqondakala, kodwa kunokuba yingozi. Le ndoda, nangona yayiphumelele kwaye inomtsalane, yagqibela ngokumphatha gadalala, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, kwiinyanga nje ezimbalwa zokuba ibiluthando lobomi bayo.

Kubalulekile ukuvavanya ngononophelo abo sibavumela kwindawo yethu yobuqu. Kuya kufuneka sigqithe kwinto ebonakala intle ephepheni, endaweni yoko sigxile kwiimpawu zabalinganiswa nakwiinkqubo zexabiso. Xa ucinga ukubandakanyeka nomntu omtsha, unokufuna ukuzibuza le mibuzo ilandelayo:

• Ubaphatha njani abanye abantu?
• Baziphatha njani esidlangalaleni?
• Babaphatha njani abantwana babo?
• Ngaba babonakalisa ububele novelwano kwabanye?
• Ngaba bayabagweba okanye babagxeke abanye abantu?
• Ngaba abayinyamezeli iyantlukwano kwinkcubeko, ubuhlanga, inkolo, okanye isini?
• Ngaba zibandakanya kwaye ziyazinyamezela izimvo zabanye abantu kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni?
• Ngaba kufuneka zihlale zilungile okanye ziphumelele?

Olunye uvavanyo olubalulekileyo lwe-litmus xa uthatha inxaxheba kumntu omtsha kukuzibuza, "Ndiziva njani phambi kwalo mntu?" Kwaye kuya kufuneka uqhubeke uzibuze lo mbuzo, ngakumbi xa uthe wabuthathaka okanye wabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho ezisemngciphekweni, iingxaki, okanye imiba yobuqu kunye nabo.

Ngaphezulu kweminyaka emininzi yokunyanga nokuvavanya amaxhoba e-narcissists, omnye umbandela ophindayo kukuziva lihlazo olunzulu abantu abaziva xa bekhohlisiwe. Kodwa nabani na unokukhohliswa ngumntu ohambisa iziyobisi. Ukuba ungumntu onobubele, onothando, onobuntununtunu okwaziyo ukuthanda, ungakhohliswa, nawe. Kunzima ukuyisongela ngentloko into yokuba abanye abantu abanako ukuthanda kunye novelwano. Ungacinga okanye mhlawumbi uyazi ngamava akho, ukuba oku kunzima kakhulu ukuba i-narcissist ngumzali wakho, iqabane, umhlobo, okanye umntu omthanda kakhulu kwaye umthanda.

Ukufundwa okubalulekileyo kweNarcissism

Ukuhlengahlengiswa kolawulo: Izinto esizenzayo kuNarcissist