Ungasinda njani kuMama weNarcissistic

Umxholo

• Ukufundwa okubalulekileyo kweNarcissism
• Izixhobo zengqondo zeNarcissist ezinokuthi zisebenzise

Abenzi amakhadi e-Hallmark oomama abangakwaziyo ukuthanda abantwana babo. Ngapha koko, awenzi amakhadi e-Hallmark uninzi loomama bethu.

Njengokuba sijongisisa ii-racks zamakhadi oSuku looMama, sifunda ngombono oqinisekileyo wokuba ngumama-oomama abazincamayo ngenxa yabantwana babo, ababehlala bekho ngenxa yabantwana babo, ababenza abantwana babo bazive bethandwa kwaye bexatyisiwe, kwaye ngubani owenza kwacaca ukuba abantwana babo bahlala beza kuqala.

Sifunde ngoomama ababekhona ukuze baphuze yonke i-boo-boo kwaye baqhube yonke i-carpool, abangazange baphoswe ngumdlalo webhola ekhatywayo kwaye babenee-brownies ezenziwe ekhaya kunye neembovane kwilog elinde ukutya emva kwesikolo. Sifunde ngoomama ababezimisele ngeentetho zasebusuku emva komhla ombi, oomama ababenjengomhlobo osenyongweni- OoMama Abalaseleyo beHlabathi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, aba mama bakho ndawo?

Kwabo kuthi abangenabo oomama abhala ngabo uHallmark, inkqubo yokukhetha ikhadi inokuba ngumceli mngeni. Ndiyathetha, aphi onke amakhadi athi, “Enkosi ngokwenza konke onokukwenza, nokuba bekungasoloko kugqibelele”?

Kodwa ngeentombi zoomama abathandanayo, uSuku loMama unokuziva elusizi. Siyazi ukuba nantoni na esiyenzayo ayizukulunga ngokwaneleyo, ukanti uninzi lwethu luyazingisa. Ke unyaka nonyaka, njengoko iqabaka inyibilika, kwaye i-tulip buds zikroba iintloko zazo eziluhlaza ngaphandle kobumdaka obunyibilikisiweyo, iintombi ezenzakeleyo zigalela iiracks zamakhadi, zikhangela enye eya kuvuyisa umama wabo ngaphandle kokungcatsha ubunyani bamava abo. Xa bekhangela elona khadi lingenabungozi banokulifumana (“Ndikunqwenelela uSuku olukhethekileyo” okanye “Bhiyozela Wena!”), Banyanzelwa ukuba baluse amakhadi malunga noomama ababenqwenela ukuba nabo kwaye bajongane nokuswela kunye nokuphathwa gadalala ababunyamezeleyo. . Umnqweno wabo ubafikela - ulangazelelo lukamama abangasokuze babenalo.

Siyakholelwa ukuba xa owasetyhini esiba ngumama, uthando luzalwa naye. Kwaye kubafazi abaninzi, kunjalo. Utshintsho lwebhayiloji, kwaye siyabanjwa kunye neentsana zethu. Isandi sokukhala kwabo sitsala iintliziyo zethu. Sijonge ebusweni babo ngokungapheliyo. Kwaye asinakubonakala ngathi sizigcina ezandleni zethu ezo nyawo zincinci. Inkcubeko yethu iyayonwabela le mibono ilungiselelwe ukuba ngumama, siyisebenzisela ukusithengisela yonke into ukusuka kwi-diapers ukuya kwiimoto ukuya kwi-inshurensi yobomi.

Inyaniso-ngokuchaseneyo noko iiPampers zifuna ukuba sikholelwe- kukuba kunzima ukuba ngumama. Uthando lufakwa ngamaxesha entiyo (njengomama womntwana omncinci, ndingatsho ngokuqiniseka okukhulu). Siyakhathazeka, siphulukane nokuphola, kwaye asisoloko sikwazi ukunika abantwana bethu into abayifunayo. Kukho amaxesha apho sifuna ukunyamalala, xa sizibuza: Kutheni le nto ndakhe ndacinga ukuba le ingangumbono olungileyo? Kodwa emva koko umntwana wethu uyeza aze asanga, okanye olosizi, ukujonga uxolo, okanye uyavuma ukuba, ewe, sasinyanisile xa sisithi akunakwenzeka ukubeka iikawusi zakho emva izihlangu zakho, kwaye iintliziyo zethu ziyanyibilika kwakhona. "Ukuba ngumama okwaneleyo" ngokungathandabuzekiyo kufakwa kukuqhekeka, ukusilela, kwaye - mhlawumbi okona kubaluleke kakhulu - ukulungiswa.

Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha oku kusilela kuyona ngakumbi kunokuba kuqhekekile kubudlelwane bomama nomntwana onothando. Ngamanye amaxesha into ihamba ngokungathandekiyo kwinkqubo yokuba ngumama.

Abanye oomama abakwazi ukumthanda ngokwenyani umntwana wabo.

Ihlabathi alazi ukuba lenze ntoni ngale nto; ayisosihloko sencoko kwiibhlog zomama okanye kwimidlalo edlalwayo, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi asithethi ngayo phakathi kwabahlobo bethu abasenyongweni. Ukuba awuzange uzibonele ngokwakho, kunzima ukucinga ukuba abanye abantu basetyhini abanako ukukhubazeka ngenxa yeengxaki zabo kwaye banqwenela ukuzalisa ubuze babo kangangokuba abakwazi ukubona abantwana babo njengabantu abathile abafanelwe luthando.

Oomama abanesifo sobuntu esingathandekiyo babona umntwana wabo njengolwandiso lwabo-into ekuza kuthi kuyo iprojekthi yenqabe okanye izinto ezingafunekiyo zobuqu, umntu okhuphisana naye kunye nomthombo womona. Oomama abathandana noNarcissistic bahlala kwizinto zabo zokwenyani, ezakhelwe ekujongeni umbono wabo ngokwabo "balungile" kwaye kufanelekile ukuhoywa nokudunyiswa. Baza kwenza nantoni na eyimfuneko ukugcina lo mfanekiso-mfanekiso wabo, bengaqapheli kwibala elishiyekileyo ekuvukeni kwabo. I-narcissist yokwenyani ayinakho ukwenza ubudlelwane-ubuncinci hayi ngendlela abantu abaninzi abacinga ngayo. Umama ongathandekiyo uyakwazi ukubona abanye abantu, kubandakanya nabantwana bakhe, njengezinto ezinokuhlangabezana okanye eziphazamisayo iimfuno zakhe.

Ingqondo kunye nonyango lwabantwana uDW. U-Winicott uthe, "Umama ujonge usana olusezandleni zakhe, kwaye umntwana ujonge ebusweni bukanina kwaye azifumane ekulo ... ngokuxhomekeke ekubeni umama ujonge umntu owahlukileyo, omncinci, ongenakuzenzela nto kwaye engazenzisi izinto azilindeleyo. , uloyiko, nezicwangciso zomntwana.Ngoko ke, umntwana akazukuzifumana ebusweni bukanina, kodwa kunoko uqikelelo lukanina.Lo mntwana uya kuhlala ngaphandle kwesipili, kwaye ubomi bakhe bonke ebeya kufuna oku Isibuko esilambathayo.

Abantwana bakukhuthalele ukufuna uthando kunye nemvume yabazali babo. Xa bengayifumani, bakholelwa ekubeni kungenxa yokuba bengathandeki. Kukhuselekile ukuhlala kwihlabathi apho ungalunganga khona kunokuhlala kwihlabathi apho umntu omelwe kukuthanda, akukhathalele kwaye akukhusele engakwazi ukwenza njalo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba siyingxaki, emva koko sinokuzitshintsha kwaye ekugqibeleni sithandwe. Uninzi lwabantwana lusebenza ngokungakhathali lufuna ukuthandwa kunye nokwamkelwa ngumama, kodwa bakufumana kufana nokuzama ukucudisa igazi elityeni.

Ukufundwa okubalulekileyo kweNarcissism

Izixhobo zengqondo zeNarcissist ezinokuthi zisebenzise