Indlela esiLahla ngayo kuLwalamano

Umxholo

• Indlela Esilahlekelwa Ngayo
• Amanqanaba okuPhulukana nathi
• “Ndilahlekile”
• Ubudlelwane obufunekayo ekufundeni
• Izizathu ezingama-23 zokuba abantu bashiye ubudlelwane

Nokuba uziva ulahlekile kubudlelwane okanye woyika ukuqala ngalo, sinokuncama ngokulula ubuqu bethu kubudlelwane nabantu abenza izinto ezimbi kunye nabaxhaphazi. Bahlala befuna ukulawula, ukuba iimfuno zabo ziza kuqala kwaye zilungile. Abasetyhini ngakumbi bathambekele ekuphulukaneni nabo kubudlelwane ngenxa yemeko yenkcubeko. Ngapha koko, nakubudlelwane obuhle, sinokukwenza oku ngothando, kungekhona ukwesaba. Sizilolonga ngokuthe ngcembe ngeendlela ezingabonakaliyo, singaqondi ukuba ukuphulukana nesiqu sakho kubeka elona themba lethu liphezulu. Emva kokwahlukana, kuyonakalisa, kuba thina balahlekile. Ukuba sihlala, sizibeka emngciphekweni wokuba ngamaqokobhe angenanto, siziva singenamandla kwaye sixhalabile okanye sidandathekile.

Rhoqo kukho umzabalazo wamandla, ophawulwa ziimpikiswano eziphindaphindiweyo, ezingasonjululwanga, nokuba kungumcimbi omnye ophindaphindiweyo okanye izinto ezininzi ezingenamsebenzi. Uninzi lwazo lubila luze kumbuzo wokuba ngubani olawulayo, ngubani oza kudibana neemfuno zakhe, okanye ukuba basondele kangakanani.

Ulwalamano lokwenene alunakwenzeka xa siziva singakhuselekanga. Ukuphepha ukusondelelana kunye nokuba sesichengeni okwenzekayo xa sivula yindlela yokugcina ukhuseleko nokuzimela. Sinoyika ukuba ukusondela kusenza sixhomekeke ngakumbi kwiqabane lethu kwaye kusibhenca ekugwetyweni nasenzakalisweni. Kubudlelwane obungaphathwa gadalala, ezi ziphumo azinyani, kodwa phulaphula umva ekukhathazekeni komntwana okanye ukungasebenzi kakuhle xa usengozini kwaye uxhomekeke kukungakhuselekanga. Abanye abantu baziva bengakhuselekanga ngaphakathi nangaphandle kobudlelwane. Okukhona sisongelwa kukusondela nokuzimela, kokukhona ungquzulwano kubudlelwane.

Indlela Esilahlekelwa Ngayo

Silahlekelwa ngokwethu ngokunyuka kwiindlela ezincinci. Inokuqala ngokuthandana, xa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukufuna ukukholisa umntu esimthandayo kunye nokuchitha ixesha lethu elininzi sikunye. Nangona kunjalo, abantu abadala abavuthiweyo ngokweemvakalelo abayeki imisebenzi yabo, banikezele ngobomi babo (banobomi), okanye bayayijonga indlela yokuziphatha engalunganga yeqabane labo, ngaphandle komtsalane womzimba onamandla. Kwaye abanqweneli ukuba nolwalamano okanye ukugcina ubudlelwane.

Amanqanaba okuPhulukana nathi

Abantu abaninzi benza kakuhle bebodwa, kodwa kanye kubudlelwane, baqala ukuphulukana nokuzimela, bangenzi amaza, kwaye babe kunye kwaye bakholise amaqabane abo. Xa kukho i "chemistry," bayazihoya izalathi ezingalunganga ezinokuba sisilumkiso sokuba ungazibandakanyi. Imichiza yokuziva ulungile kwingqondo yethu iqala ukunciphisa ukungabinanto, ukuze sifune ngaphezulu kwelo chiza. Asifuni ukuphulukana nolu lonwabo. Ukuba asonwabanga ukuba sodwa, sesichengeni sokubambelela.

Yiyo loo nto sisiya sixakeke kakhulu kwaye sixhomekeke kubantu esibathandayo. Sibona abahlobo bethu abambalwa kwaye sinokuyeka inkqubo yethu yokuchitha ixesha kunye. Kubafazi ngaphezulu kwamadoda, amaxesha amaninzi umsebenzi wethu kunye neenjongo zobungcali zithatha indawo yesibini kulwalamano.

Umnqweno wokukholisa unokukhokelela ekuthandeni. Isidingo sethu sonxibelelwano sinokudala ukukhanyela malunga nokuziphatha kweqabane lethu kwaye kusenze sithandabuze ezethu izimvo. Imida iba mfiliba ukuze siqale ukwamkela uluvo lweqabane lethu.

Ukuba iqabane lethu lihlukumeza, ukungazithembi kuyakhula kwaye nokuzithemba kwethu kuyancipha. Asithi “hayi” okanye sibeke imida kwinto esizimisele ukuyenza okanye into esizimisele ukuyamkela kumaqabane ethu. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa kubakho ukudideka phakathi kwento evakalayo iqabane lethu kunye neemvakalelo zethu. Siziva sinoxanduva lweemvakalelo zabo, nathi, ngakumbi ukuba sibekek 'ityala. Ukuba ulusizi, nam ke ndibuhlungu, nam-njengoko ingoma kaBarry Manilow ihamba. Ukuba udanile okanye unomsindo, kufanele ukuba yimpazamo yam.

Sididekile (okanye asizanga sazi ngokwenyani) into esiyikholelwayo, zithini ixabiso lethu kunye nezimvo zethu. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba asikubonanga oku de saye sathandana kakhulu. Sincama izinto esizithandayo, umdla ongaphandle, izihlobo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane (kunye) nezihlobo zethu (s) ukuze sibe neqabane lethu. Ngokwesiqhelo, sikwenza oko ngokuzithandela ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, kodwa kamva sinokwenza oko ukuthobela iminqweno yeqabane lethu. Nangona ukhetho lwethu lubonakala lunqweneleka okanye luyimfuneko, asiqondi ngokwazi ngexabiso esilihlawulayo: Isiqu sethu!

“Ndilahlekile”

Le patheni ibonakalisa “isiqu sakho esilahlekileyo.” (Jonga incwadi yam, Ukuxhomekeka kweDummies Ngenxa yokuba ubuni bethu buchazwe ngaphandle, sibeka phambili ubudlelwane bethu ngaphezu kwesiqu sethu, hayi ngamanye amaxesha, esiya kuba siqhelekileyo, kodwa siphindaphinda. Kubudlelwane obubalulekileyo, siyoyika ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano nabanye okanye ukwamkelwa kwabo. Kunye neqabane lethu, sizincama kaninzi-ninzi ngeendlela ezincinci nezikhulu ― ukusuka kwiminyhadala engabalulekanga ukuya ekuyekeni ikhondo lomsebenzi, ukunqumla isizalwane, okanye ukuyekelela okanye ukuthatha inxaxheba ekuziphatheni okungalunganga okwakungabonakala kungacingeki ngaphambili.

Kwiminyaka edlulileyo, ipatheni yokuthotyelwa kwemigaqo iyaphuhliswa kwaye imigaqo emitsha iyasekwa. Ixesha elingaphezulu, sakha ityala, umsindo kunye nenzondo zihlala zithule. Siyazigxeka. Ukuzithemba kwethu, ukuzimela geqe, kunye nokuzithemba esasinako kolu lwalamano kuyahluthwa. Siyaxhalaba kwaye sixinezelekile, sithathe ngakumbi kwaye / okanye sinyanzelise. Sishiya kancinci ukhetho kunye nenkululeko de sizive sibambekile kwaye singenathemba, ngelixa uxinzelelo kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba kukhula. Sinokuphucula ukuba likhoboka okanye iimpawu zomzimba. Ekugqibeleni, sinokuba liqokobhe lobuntu bethu bangaphambili.

Ubudlelwane obufunekayo ekufundeni

Izizathu ezingama-23 zokuba abantu bashiye ubudlelwane