Masiyeke ukuzama ukwenza ubuntwana bobundlobongela "obuqhelekileyo"

Kwinyanga ephelile INew York Times upapashe inqaku elinesihloko esithi "Ixesha labantwana lesikrini liye landa kubhubhani, abazali abothusayo kunye nabaphandi." Yinto entle eyoyikisayo. Esi siqwenga siqulethe amabinzana othusayo anje ngokurhoxa kwi-epic kunye "nokulutha" kunye "nokulahleka" kwabantwana kwitekhnoloji. Kuthelekisa ukukhupha abantwana ezikrinini kunye "nokushumayela ngokuzila ukutya kwindawo yentselo."

Intoni?!

Sikubhubhane.

Yonke into yahlukile.

Ukuba ngumzali sele kubutshisile ubomi kubazali, njengoko kubonisiwe kwelinye inqaku ku INew York Times osihloko sithi "Oomama abathathu eBrink."

Ingcebiso yam kumajelo eendaba kunye neengcali abazibonayo? Yekani ukoyikisa abazali.

Ewe, ixesha lesikrini phakathi kwabantwana nakwishumi elivisayo likhulu kakhulu kwi-2020 nakwi-2021 kunangaphambili. Kodwa oku kuyimfuneko kwimeko yangoku, hayi intlekele. Izikrini sisiseko sokufunda, ukunxibelelana ngokwasentlalweni, kunye nokonwabisa abantwana bethu ngoku. Isikhokelo sethu sangoku malunga nabantwana kunye nezikrini zisekwe kwiingcinga zaphambi kobhubhane kunye neenkqubo. Ukuzama ukusebenzisa esi sikhokelo kungoku nje kuphosakele kuba sikwihlabathi elahluke mpela kunelonyaka ophelileyo. Kuya kufana nokukhalaza ngeenqwelo-moya kuba asinakudlulisa iifestile ukuze sifumane umoya omtsha ngexesha lokuhamba kwilizwe lethu ezimotweni.

Cinga nje ngoMfanekiso Omkhulu

Makhe siqwalasele owona mfanekiso mkhulu. Zonke iinxalenye zobomi babantwana zichaphazelekile sesi sifo kwinqanaba elithile-ukusikelwa umda kunxibelelwano lomntu, ukufunda nokudlala bekunganyanzelekanga. Ukusinda kubhubhane kuyeyona nto iphambili. Ukuhlala uqhagamshelene ngokwamanani kuvumele abantwana ukuba baqhubeke nezinye iinxalenye zobomi babo, nangona ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kodwa yile ngongoma. Sisiseko esahluke ngokupheleleyo. “Okuqhelekileyo” okudala akusebenzi ngoku — akukho.

Kwaye ezinye zeendawo "ezinkulu ezimbi" ze NY Times ngokokubona kwam, zazizizidenge. Inkwenkwana ifumene isiqabu kwimidlalo yakhe xa kusweleke inja yosapho. Ke ngoku? Ewe kunjalo. Sonke sijonge uxolo oluncinci nentuthuzelo kwintlungu. Ayisiyo-pathological. Intlungu iza ngamaza kwaye ukusinda kwamaza amakhulu kunzima. Ngubani ongazange afumane intuthuzelo kwingxoxo nomhlobo okanye ngamanye amaxesha umsebenzi, ukwenza izinto ziziva ziqhelekile kwakhona xa ulilela ukufa? Okwangoku lo mntwana akanakukwazi ukuya kwindlu yomhlobo wakhe ukuya kuxhoma, ukuya kwi-decompress, ke umdlalo sisisombululo esifanelekileyo.

Enye i-anecdote kweli nqaku ingotata oziva ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumntwana kwaye wasilela njengomzali kuba unyana wakhe oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala ucinga ngefowuni "njengobomi bakhe bonke". Ubomi babantwana babufudukela kwiifowuni zabo ngaphambi kobhubhane. Kwaye ngaphambi kweeselfowuni, njengabantwana abaneminyaka eli-14 ubudala, safudukela kwigunjana leholo, ucingo lwaluxhonyiwe, ngelixa sihleli ebumnyameni sincokola nabahlobo, kwaye abazali bethu basikhalimela ngokungafuni ukuchitha ixesha nabo akusekho. Abantwana abakuloo minyaka kufuneka batyhalele ngaphandle ukuze badibane noontanga-bayazakha ngokwabo. Sifanele ukuba siphulukane nabo kancinane kule minyaka. Kwaye ngoku ezo zinto zinxibelelana noontanga kunye nobomi ikakhulu zikwindawo yedijithali kuba zezona zikhetho zinokubakho. Enkosi ngokulungileyo abanokuzibandakanya kulo msebenzi ubalulekileyo wophuhliso. Ukufudukela kwezi ndlela zokuziphatha kwiindawo zedijithali kuyinto eguqukayo, hayi eyoyikisayo.

Sonke Sifuna Ukukhutshwa

Ukuphulukana, usizi, kunye noloyiko ngexesha lobhubhane ziyinyani. Iingqondo zethu zikwimeko eziphakamileyo zokulumkisa. Kuyadinisa-ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasengqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Kwaye okukhona iqhubeka, kokukhona kunzima ukuyibuyisa-ukubuyela kuyo nayiphi na into efana nesiseko sethu. Sidinga ixesha lokudideka, singenzi nto, ukuzinika imvume yokuvuselela umbane. Sisoloko siyidinga le nto ebomini bethu; Ixesha lokuphumla eliyinyani liyimfuneko kwimpilo yethu yengqondo. Kwaye siyifuna ngoku kunakuqala.

Le mfuno "yokuchithwa kwengqondo" ayisiyonyani kangako ebantwaneni kunokuba injalo kubantu abadala. Ngapha koko, ngeendlela ezininzi, abantwana badinwe ngakumbi. Balawula lonke uxinzelelo oluqhelekileyo lokukhula njengokwakha ingqondo nomzimba, ukuphuhlisa izakhono zolawulo lokuziphatha kunye nokuziphatha, kunye nokuhamba emanzini anganyanisekanga entlalontle ebuntwaneni nasekufikiseni. Kwaye ngoku bayayenza kubhubhane. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bafuna nje ukuba bodwa kwaye bangacingi nzima ngayo nantoni na. Kwaye mhlawumbi, mhlawumbi, bayayifuna nangakumbi ngoku.

Ukucaphula kuPhando ngaphandle komxholo

Inqaku elothusayo lamaqhinga likwabandakanya ukukhankanya amanqaku ophando abonisa izinto ezimbi kakhulu ngabantwana kunye nezikrini. Inqaku elinye abanxibelelana ngalo lithetha ngotshintsho lwemicimbi yobuchopho ebonwe kubantu abadala abane-Intanethi yeMidlalo yokuPhazamiseka, epapashwe kwakude ngaphambi kwesi sifo. Kukwakhankanywe isifundo esapapashwa ngoJulayi 2020 malunga nokulandela umkhondo wexesha elichithwa ngabantwana abancinci kwizikrini. Abaphandi baphinde bathimba iipateni zokusetyenziswa apho abantwana babefikelela kwizinto ezijolise kubantu abadala, ngokucacileyo ngaphandle kolwazi lwabazali. Le datha yophando yaqokelelwa ngaphambi kwesifo, kuba inqaku lamkelwe ukuze lipapashwe ngo-Matshi 2020.

Ukufikelela kumxholo ongalunganga wobudala kunye nokubakho kwengxaki / yokusetyenziswa kwinqanaba lescreen yimicimbi ephambi komhla wobhubhane kwaye ayithanga ngqo kumanqanaba okusetyenziswa. Ingxaki ngokuboniswa kwemathiriyeli kwi INew York Times Inqaku kukuba licinga ukuba amanqanaba aphezulu okusetyenziswa kwescreen ngexesha le-COVID-19 ngokuzenzekelayo aya kubangela amanqanaba aphezulu eengxaki ezichazwe kuphando. Asinakuyenza loo nto. Asinayo indlela yokwazi ukuba iya kuba yintoni impembelelo, ukuba ikhona. Ngapha koko, sinokude sicinge ngeendlela ezinokuthi zinciphise ezi ngxaki. Mhlawumbi abazali kunye nabantwana ukuba sekhaya ngakumbi kwaye basebenzise izikrini ezinamaxesha amaninzi ziya kuvumela ukuqonda ngakumbi kunye nokutyibilika kwindawo yedijithali enokuthi icuthe ezi ngxaki kunye / okanye izisombululo.

Ukukhawuleza ukufikelela kulwazi kunye nexesha lesikrini kuzise imiceli mngeni kubazali, kootitshala, nakwizingcali zezempilo yabantwana kule nkulungwane yokugqibela, kuba abantwana bethu beGen Z babengabokuqala bedijithali. Imingcipheko yexesha eligqithisileyo lescreen, ngakumbi ukuba ithatha indawo yeminye imisebenzi ebalulekileyo yophuhliso enjengokuzonwabisa, ukwenza umthambo nokwenza umsebenzi wesikolo, kuyaphawulwa kwaye kubalulekile ukuba kufundwe. Nangona kunjalo, ukubakho kwayo yonke loo misebenzi kuguqulwe kakhulu kwimeko yangoku yelizwe lethu. Oko akuthethi ukuba asihoyi isidingo seminye imisebenzi; kuthetha nje ukuba ukusebenzisa umgangatho wakudala “wesiqhelo” akuyi kusebenza ngoku. Oko akuthethi ukuba kubi okanye kubi kakhulu — yile nto kufuneka yenzeke ngoku ukuze usinde.

Sikwindawo yokonzakala ngokudibeneyo kunye nokuzila. Sikwimo yokusinda. Utshintsho kunye nomehluko ekusebenzeni kwethu kukurhafisa bonke oovimba bethu, ngaphakathi nangaphandle, kubantwana nakubantu abadala ngokufanayo. Senza utshintsho, njengokusebenzisa izikrini ezininzi, egameni lokusinda. Asikho kwi "Ngaphambi kwamaXesha," kwaye asinakho ukuzibamba kulindelo olwenziwe ngaloo maxesha. Sihlengahlengisa kuba kufuneka, kwaye kunjalo nangabantwana bethu.

Yintoni Eyingozi Ekuzameni?

Kutheni le nto kunokuba yingozi ukuzama ukudala ubuntwana "obuqhelekileyo" kubantwana bethu ngoku? Yintoni ingozi ngokuzama? Okuninzi. Eyona nto iphambili kukuziva unetyala kwaye uphelelwe lithemba abazali baziva ukuba sizichaza njengabantu “abasilelayo” abantwana bethu xa singenako ukwenza izinto zibe “zezesiqhelo.” Ezi mvakalelo zingathandekiyo zitshabalalisa izixhobo zethu zangaphakathi esele zisandisiwe, zisishiya nejusi encinci yokulawula iimvakalelo zethu kunye nokusombulula ingxaki kubume behlabathi obuhlala butshintsha.

Omnye umngcipheko omkhulu kukukhulisa ukungqubana okungafunekiyo nabantwana bethu. Ukuba injongo yethu yeyokuba abantwana bethu (kunye nathi) bacinge, bazive, kwaye baziphathe "ngesiqhelo" (njengoko kuchaziwe kwangaphambi kobhubhane), oku kuyakuphela kukuxhalaba okungaqhelekanga kuye wonke umntu-emva kokukhwaza kakhulu nokulila kumacala omabini, into asiyidingi ngakumbi kwezi ntsuku. Kuya kubakho amaxesha amaninzi ngaphandle kokuwenza mandundu ngolindelo olungeyonyani.

Okokugqibela, ukuba sigxila ikakhulu ekugcineni izinto ngendlela ezazikade zikho ngayo, siba semngciphekweni wokunciphisa umda kubantwana bethu wokuziqhelanisa nezinto ezintsha nezingaziwayo. Ukuyila, ukukhula, kunye nokulungelelanisa zizakhono ezibalulekileyo ngexesha lotshintsho olukhulu kunye noxinzelelo olukhulu. Ukuzama ukugcina izinto ngokufanayo-ukuseta okuqhelekileyo "njengesiqhelo" njengeyona njongo-kunokusisusa endleleni yokwakha ezi zakhono nokuzisebenzisa.

Ke, bafanele ukuba benza ntoni abazali?

Zinqumle kunye nabantwana bakho ngekhefu. Sukoyikiswa ziintloko ze-alarmist kunye ne-rhetoric malunga nabantwana kwindyikitya yokufa. Bayasinda. Amabali abo, ngokwenkcazo, aya kuba yinxalenye yeli xesha kunye nokuphazamiseka kwembali kumaxesha angaphambili kunye namabali. Ukwamkela le nyani akutshintshi ilahleko kunye noloyiko sonke esiziva ngalo ngeli xesha. Isinika nje indawo yeemvakalelo kunye nendawo yokucinga yokuyeka ukuzama ukwenza ubomi ngendlela obabuqhele ngayo. Imfesane kunye nobabalo lomsebenzi omangalisayo owenziwa ngumntu wonke ukuqhubeka nokuhamba kubalulekile kumbane kuthi sonke. Ukufuna ukwazi ngamava abantwana bethu kunokuba sisikhuthazo kolu hambo, ngelixa ukuzama ukulawula ibali kusivala kwaye kukhokelela kudano olungeyomfuneko, ungquzulwano kunye netyala.