Oomama abanomona ngeentombi zabo

Umxholo

• Umona uFundeka ngokuBalulekileyo
• Ngaba Ukufihla Ukukhanya Kwakho Phantsi Kwebhasi?

Xa ndandibhala Ngaba ndiyakuze ndilunge ngokwaneleyo?: Ukuphilisa iiNtombi zooMama abaNarcissistic , Ndifumanise ukuba ndive iintlobo ezithile zamabali abuhlungu amaxesha ngamaxesha, njengemixholo yesandi somculo. Umxholo omnye ibikukuba oomama banomona ngeentombi zabo. Kwavela rhoqo kangangokuba ndayifaka kwinto endiyibiza ngokuba zii "Stingers ezilishumi" zentshukumo yomama nentombi xa umama enezinga eliphezulu leempawu zokuziphatha kakubi.

Ngokwesiqhelo, oomama abasempilweni bayazingca ngabantwana babo kwaye bafuna ukuba bakhanye. Kodwa umama we-narcissistic unokuqonda ukuba intombi yakhe isisongelo. Ukuba ingqalelo ithathwa kude kunina, umntwana unokufumana impindezelo, ukubeka phantsi, kunye nezohlwayo. Umama unokuba nomona ngentombi yakhe ngezizathu ezininzi-inkangeleko yakhe, ulutsha, izinto eziphathekayo, impumelelo, imfundo kunye nolwalamano lwentombazana noyise. Eli khwele linzima kakhulu kule ntombi njengoko inemiyalezo emibini: “Yenza kakuhle ukuze uMama azingce, kodwa musa ukwenza kakuhle okanye uza kumgqwesa.”

• USamantha ebesoloko engoyena usakhasayo kusapho. Uthi uninzi lwezihlobo zakhe batyebe kakhulu, kubandakanya nomama wakhe, otyebe kakhulu. Xa uSamantha wayeneminyaka engama-22, umama wakhe wakrazula iimpahla zakhe egumbini lakhe waziphosa kwigumbi lokulala, ekhwaza esithi, “Ngubani onokunxiba isayizi 4 kwezi ntsuku? Ingaba ucinga Ungubani? Inokuba uneanorexic, kwaye kungcono sifumane uncedo! ”
• UFelice, wandixelela, “Umama wayesoloko efuna ukuba ndimhle kodwa ndingabi mhle kakhulu. Bendinesinqe esincinci esithandekayo, kodwa ukuba ndibhinqe ibhanti elichaza esinqeni sam, undixelele ndikhangeleka njengesilelu. ”
• UMary uxolile wathi, "Umama undixelela ukuba ndimbi, kodwa ke kufuneka ndiphume ndiye apho kwaye ndimhle ndibhubhe! Ndandingumgqatswa wokumkanikazi kwaye uMama wayeziqhenya nabahlobo bakhe kodwa wandihlwaya. Kukho lo myalezo uphambeneyo: Eyona nto imbi kum, kodwa kufanele ukuba ndiyikhohlisile kwilizwe lokwenyani? Andikayifumani nangoku. ”

Ngelixa abantu abaninzi bekholelwa ukuba ukuba nomona yinto enqwenelekayo, enamandla, eneneni ukuba nomona, ngakumbi ngumama wakho, kuyothusa kwaye kuyothusa. Ukuziva kwentombi yakho kuyacinywa kukudelwa kunye nokugxekwa. Ukulunga kwakhe kubuzwa okanye kuphawulwe, okanye kwenziwe ukukhanya, okubangela ukuba azive ngathi "yinyani yakhe njengomntu icinyiwe" ( UCinderella kunye noodadewabo: Umona kunye nomona ). Njengokuba intombi ihlalutya into umama wayo abonakala enomona ngayo, uye azive engafaneleki. Akunangqondo kwintombi ukuba umama wakhe angaba neemvakalelo ezimbi ngaye. Intombi izama konke okusemandleni ukwenza imeko kwaye igqibe ekubeni kukho into engalunganga kuye.

Ndifumanise ukuba iintombi zoomama abathandanayo bafumana kunzima ukuxoxa ngomona koonina, kwaye bakufumanise kunzima ngakumbi ukuza nayo. Bahlala bengakuboni ukulunga kwabo ngokwaneleyo ukuba baqonde umona woomama ngento eyiyo. Endaweni yokuba bakholelwe ukuba benze into engalunganga. Ukuba bayifumene ngaphakathi le mvakalelo "ayonelanga ngokwaneleyo", abaziboni njengomntu nabani na angabamonela. Le meko iyaphambanisa nentombi. Idala imiqobo kuphuhliso olusempilweni kunye nokwakha ukuqonda ngokwakho.

Okwangoku, kuqhubeka ntoni ngomama? Umona uvumela umama ongazithembanga ukuba azive ebhetele okwethutyana ngaye. Xa enomona aze ayigxeke kwaye ayijongele phantsi le ntombi, uyayinciphisa isoyikiso kukuzithemba kwakhe. Umona sisixhobo esinamandla kwireferensi yomntu othanda izinto zoburhalarhume; uyakubona oku kunxibelelwano lukamama nabanye abantu ngokunjalo. Kodwa xa ijolise kwintombi, yenza ukuba uzive ungancedi kwaye ungazithembi. Nangona zininzi iindlela apho umona kamama ubangela imiqobo kwintombazana, masijonge ezimbalwa nje:

Uphuculo lweSabotage. Ngelixa intombazana encinci ikhula isebenzisa umama wayo njengomzekelo wakhe ophambili wokuba yintombazana, umfazi, umhlobo, isithandwa, kunye nomntu ehlabathini. Ukuba kwa lo mama umbeka phantsi, kwaye unomona ngezinto azenzileyo, umntwana akagcini ngokudideka, kodwa uhlala enikezela. Kuba ngumsebenzi womzali ukuzalisa inqanaba ngalinye lokukhula ngokukhulisa, uthando, inkxaso kunye nenkuthazo, intombi ifumana into engenanto ayinakuyichaza. Uninzi lwabantwana bafuna ukukholisa abazali babo, ke ukuba banikwe lo myalezo uxubeneyo, kulula kwaye mhlawumbi kukhuselekile ukuba bangenzi nto kwaye ke bangazivezi ekugxekweni. Umyalezo ovela kumama uthi: “Ukuba ekuqaleni awuphumeleli, yeka!”

Ubudlelwane obugqwethekileyo noBawo. Ewe abantwana kufuneka babe nolwalamano olusempilweni nabazali bobabini. Ukuba umama unomona ngobuhlobo intombi enabo noyise, inokwenza ntoni intombi? Ufuna abazali bobabini ukuba bamthande. Ukholisa bani? Ukujongana njani noku kulungelelana kubuthathaka? Eyona nto iyanzima ngumbuzo wento utata anokuyenza. Rhoqo amadoda anobudlelwane nabasetyhini ababhinqileyo bakhetha ukulungiselela umama ukuze bagcine ubudlelwane babantu abadala. Oko kushiya utata engakwazi ukunxibelelana nentombi yakhe kwaye oku kuyishiya intombi iswele unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo nabazali bobabini.

Umbulo. Ezona meko zigqithileyo zomama nentombi yomona zivela kwiintsapho apho kukho umbulo. Ukuba utata ungumoni kwaye umama uba nomona ngobuhlobo bukayise-ntombi, naye ke uba ngumoni kwaye akanakubeka intombi phambili. Endaweni yoko, ubona intombi yakhe "njengomnye umfazi," elandela umyeni wakhe. Kwiimeko ezininzi zokulalana esisebenzisane naye, xa utata ingumoni, oku akunjalo: Umama uthatha icala lomntwana, njengoko Kuya kufuneka, kwaye umshiye umoni.

Umona uFundeka ngokuBalulekileyo

Ngaba Ukufihla Ukukhanya Kwakho Phantsi Kwebhasi?