Ummango kunyango: Ukudlala zombini i-Cop elungileyo kunye ne-Bad Cop

Ukulinganisa inkqubo yamapolisa ngokubandakanya imeko elungileyo yamapolisa / imeko yamapolisa emibi sele iyindawo eqhelekileyo.Ngelishwa, idlalwe ngokuhlekisa (okt, ukubaxwa), ezo zigcawu zisebenzisa inyani yokuba le ndlela isebenzisekayo inokusebenza ngokumangalisayo. Inokukholisa umntu ukuba anikezele ngolwazi okanye avumelane nento angenakuyijonga nokuyicinga.

Ngokufutshane, kwisikimu sobuqhetseba, "iphoyisa elibi" libuza umrhanelwa ngobukrwada, njengenxalenye yoyilo olubaliweyo lokucaphukisa, ukoyikisa, nokumchasa. Kwaye udliwanondlebe olunobutshaba ngokwendalo luzala kuloo mntu ubuzwayo wonyusa uloyiko kwaye ikhawuntari -ukuhlala.

Ngokuchasene noko, eyona "ipolisa elungileyo," ithatha inxaxheba ngokubanzi kuphando kuphela emva kokuba ipolisa elibi liphumelele ekwahlukaneni nommangalelwa, lenze isimilo esizolileyo kwaye libonakalise uvelwano ngakumbi kuye. Ngapha koko, ipolisa elilungileyo, elikhuthaza ummangalelwa, licebisa ukuba kungenzeka isohlwayo esincinci ukuba liyasebenzisana.

Into ayityholwayo ngummangalelwa kukuba yonke into liqhinga: akukho polisa elikwicala lakhe, kwaye konke oku kuyisicwangciso somdlalo esenzelwe ukumenza ukuba abonelele ngedatha eyongezelelweyo efunekayo kutshutshiso. Ngokuchasene noko, umdla wabo wokuba agwetywe ubakhokelele ekusebenzisaneni nabanye , ngokukhohlisa ngokuzenza ngathi niyaphikisana. Ukuma kwabo okuchaseneyo yindlela echuliweyo, ngakumbi ukuba umtyholwa akazange aphendule kwimibuzo yokuqala, yokumbeka ityala.

Inkqubo yokurhintyela iye yahlaselwa njengengahambelaniyo- kwaye, kwiimeko ezininzi, ayiyomfuneko. Kodwa ngabantu abanganyangekiyo, ababambayo, ngokuqinisekileyo inendawo kwindawo ekugcinwa kuyo igosa lokufumana ulwazi olubalulekileyo kwityala. Ngapha koko, obu buchule kudala busetyenzisiwe kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo ngaphaya kokunyanzeliswa komthetho, amaxesha amaninzi kuthethathethwano olunzima lweshishini. Kwaye okuhlekisayo kukuba inokulawulwa ngokukuko ngumntu omnye odlala iindima ezimbini.

Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba abanye abazali abangenelisekanga baye bafunda ukwamkela ukungahambelani ngendlela efanelekileyo okanye ukubuyela umva ngengqondo kunye nolutsha olunenkani, olungenantlonelo. Uninzi lweetherapisti, nazo-ngakumbi abo bathanda ukwenza oko kubizwa paradox zonyango -Jika kwezi zixhobo zikhohlisayo xa, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, zibabona zinika indlela yokuphuma kunyango.

Kwaye, ayinakugxininiswa ngaphezulu, ukusetyenziswa okunje kuyingenelo ngokweemvakalelo hayi kubo kodwa kumthengi, kuba iingcali zonyango azinakubonwa njengezikhohlisayo ukuba ubuchule babo buqeshwe ikakhulu kwintlalo-ntle yomthengi.

Yintoni eyona nto iphambili ekuqondeni ukusebenza ngempumelelo kwamapolisa / ungenelelo olubi lwepolisa kukubamba isayikholoji ephantsi kwabo. Ngokucacileyo, phantse nawuphina umntu othethwe ngobubele nangokuphendula uya kuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kunakuqala xa kusiyiwa rhabaxa kubo, okanye ngokurhabaxa. Kukwakho notyekelo oluqinileyo lokuphendula ngeendlela ezihambelana nendlela ekubhekiswe ngayo, ukubuyisa ubushushu ngokufudumala, ukubanda ngokubanda okuphindaphindiweyo.

Ukudibanisa iphoyisa elilungileyo kunye nepolisa elibi kugxininisa olu tyekelo sizalwa nalo, sonyusa amathuba okuba ulwazelelelo olungenabungozi ngakumbi, luya kwenza ukuba umamkeli angene kubudlelane bokusebenzisana (vs.

Kuyaziwa ukuba nokuba abathengi banokukhuthazeka kangakanani na xa besenza utshintsho ebomini babo, bahlala bezisa ukungahambelani nomsebenzi. Nokuba kukwiimeko ekuthiwa zilula, ezinje ngokuyeka ukutshaya okanye ukuzithemba ngakumbi, ukucinga nzulu malunga nokulungisa okanye ukuphelisa isimilo esinzulu kunokunyusa amanqanaba oxinzelelo lwabo, athi akhokelele ekuphenduleni kunyango-njengokuthamba, ukuphepha, ukuqikelela, kunye nokuphazamiseka.

Ukuze i-Therapist yehlise isidima sobupopu malunga, okanye umceli mngeni, ukuxhathisa kwabathengi akunangqondo kwaye akunangqondo ekubeni umthengi unezizathu ezifanelekileyo (nangona ubukhulu becala engazi) ukuba angayeki loo nto sele isiqhelo. Kwaye ukuba ukuxhathisa kwabo kungoku okanye kungaphantsi "kulungisiwe," kungenxa yokuba kunciphisa ukoyikeka okanye iintloni.

Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukucinga ukuba ukungaziphathi kakuhle kwabo kubenza bazive bengenamandla kwaye kubanceda balawule ubomi babo bemihla ngemihla noxinzelelo oluncinci, nangona ngokuzazi Banokunqwenela utshintsho, bengazi ukuba baziva benyanzelekile ukuba balwe nalo. Kwaye ukuba "neengqondo ezimbini" malunga nento ngokubanzi kuthetha ukuba idabi langaphakathi liphakathi kokungazi, ukuziva uyinxalenye yengqondo yabo kunye nokuqonda, ukuqonda (okanye i-neo-cortical).

Ukuthatha lo mkhuba weemvakalelo ukuthathela ingqalelo ukusebenziseka kwengqondo kunyanga isimo sengqondo esibonisa (ngaphandle kokomeleza) ukungahambelani kwabaxhasi. Ngaphandle kwendlela yokunyanga eyothusayo, ithiyori emva kwento eyaziwa ngokuba luNyango lokuNyusa ukuNyusa (i-MET) ikwanokuphazamiseka ngokubanzi ekuboneleleni ngokuchasene nabathengi kwaye hayi (ngokuthe ngqo, ubuncinci) ngenjongo yokuxhasa utshintsho.

Le ndlela ihlonitshwayo, eyilelwe iziyobisi ezinganyangekiyo kunyango, ngoku iyasetyenziswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ekunzima ukuzitshintsha. Isebenza ngokubambisana ne-ambivalence yomthengi, eyithelekisa nonyango oluthobekileyo, olwenziweyo ngokungazithembi. Kuba isazi sisebenza ngokubuza ngesazela malunga nokuba yeyiphi enokuthi ibe yengathandekiyo okanye eyonakalisayo malunga notshintsho olucetywayo, kwaye ingaba eli lelona xesha lifanelekileyo lokulandela.

Ke iingcali zonyango, umzekelo, ziyalelwa ukuba zithintele nakuphi na ukuphikisana, ukuziqengqa ngokwasemphefumlweni ngokwala komthengi okanye ukushenxisa, kunye nokukhangela iiasethi ezingasetyenziswanga kunye nezingaxabisekanga abanokuncoma ngazo umthengi babakhuthaze ukuba bazisebenzise kakhulu.

Ngandlel 'ithile, ngokuhlala kunye nokwenza into ibe yeyesiqhelo (okt, iilebheli zophendlo lwezifo azivumelekanga), "bathatha" icandelo elibi lokungaboni ngasonye kwabaxhasi, ukuze umthengi abe nenkululeko entsha, nkqu nenkululeko, ekuchongeni ngakumbi nenxalenye elungileyo kwaye, ngokuzimeleyo, phucula ukuqonda okuqinisekileyo kokusebenza.

Inkuthazo evela ngaphakathi-kunokuba ngaphandle-yonyusa amathuba okuba umthengi "abenakho" naluphi na utshintsho olwenzekayo, ehlangabezana nokuzimisela okwabaphephayo ngaphambili. Kuba ugqirha ushiya ngabom izinto ukuya kumthengi, ngokuchasene nokwenza isigqibo ngokwabo ngeyona nto ibalungeleyo (nangona ugqirha esenza rhoqo, nangona elumkile, bonisa abanokuthi banqwenele ukukuthathela ingqalelo).

Isicatshulwa esibalulekileyo kubanyangi abasebenzisa le ndlela yokunciphisa utshintsho:

[Injongo] yonyango kukufumana umxhasi ukuba aziqonde ngokuchanekileyo iziphumo zokungaziphathi kakuhle kwakhe kwaye aqale ukuthoba umgangatho wezinto azibonayo ezintle. Xa i-MET iqhutywa ngokufanelekileyo, umxhasi hayi ingcali yezonyango ivakalisa ingxoxo yotshintsho. . . . Esi sicwangciso sinokuba luncedo ngokukodwa kubaxumi ababonisa ngendlela echasayo kwaye babonakala bengayamkeli yonke imbono okanye iingcebiso. (ukusuka Incwadi yokunyanga yokunyusa yokukhuthaza, 1992)

Ngaphaya kwe-MET, iindlela ezininzi eziphikisayo zikhona ezithi zibabhidanise kwaye zibothuse abathengi, ngokumangalisa ngokumema ukuba bangene nzulu kwaye baphinde bavavanye indlela yokuziphatha egxothiweyo kodwa eyonakalisayo. Okwangoku, aba baphilisi bayayiqonda into yokuba indlela yokuziphatha engalunganga inezinto ezilungileyo kubo.

Incwadi yam ngalo mbandela ( Amacandelo eParadoxical kwi-Psychotherapy, 1986), ichaza ubuninzi bezi ndlela ziphikisayo-kwaye zisebenza njani kwaye kutheni zisebenza. Apha ndiza kuphakamisa nje ukuba uninzi luyilelwe ukukhuthaza utshintsho ngokujoyina umxhasi ekuthandabuzeni. Nangona la magama anyangiweyo ebhekisa kubathengi alungile (“iphoyisa elilungileyo”) xa kuthelekiswa nokuluma (“ipolisa elibi”), amagqabantshintshi abo, kwangoko, abonakala ngathi aphantsi.

Kwaye oku kusibuyisela kanye emva apho saqala khona-ukuba yinkxalabo yomthengi ikakhulu yokuqonda okungaluthinteli utshintsho. Ke oochwephesha banokuthi bandise amathuba okuphumelela ngokuhlonipha eli cala libi lesigqibo somthengi.

Kunjengokungathi abanyangi bazama ukuxhasa, okanye ukuthambisa, indlela elukhuni yentliziyo yamapolisa ngokuyihlanganisa kunye nokuqonda kakuhle kwamapolisa kunye nenkxaso yemfesane. Ngokuzisa ukukhanya nokuhlawula imbeko yovelwano kukungafuni komthengi ukutshintsha, bayamkhuthaza umthengi-ngokuzimeleyo-ukuba achonge ngakumbi amandla kunye nokuzibophelela kwinxalenye elungileyo yokuphambuka kwabo.

Umathandabuzo wobungcali ekuboniseni ngokuvakalayo ukuba “mhlawumbi le nto inganzima kakhulu kuwe” —nanjengoko begxininisa izixhobo zabaxhamli ukujongana notshintsho-kunokubangela ukuba umxhasi aphendule: “Hayi, ndicinga ukuba unako qala ukwenza izinto ebesithetha ngazo. Kwaye le ixesha ndizakufumana isikhokelo kunye nenkxaso engaphezulu kunangaphambili. ”

© 2021 uLeon F. Seltzer, uPh.D. Onke amalungelo agciniwe.