Ukukhulisa amawele ukuba abe ngaBodwa kunye nabahlobo abathembekileyo

Umxholo

• Into enokwenziwa ngabazali ukuphuhlisa ubuNtu kuBantwana babo abangamawele
• Izigqibo

Into enokwenziwa ngabazali ukuphuhlisa ubuNtu kuBantwana babo abangamawele

Ukukhulisa amawele ngumsebenzi onzima obonisa iingxaki ezizodwa nezintsonkothileyo zengqondo nezisebenzayo ezifuna ukuchongwa ngononophelo, ukuqondwa nokusonjululwa. Ukukhulisa amawele kuthatha ixesha kunye nokucinga. Akukho mpendulo zilula okanye uluhlu olude, iindlela ezingaguqukiyo zokuzisebenzisa. Kukho iindlela ezithile zokuzama kunye nezinyani ezisetyenziswa ngabazali abanengqondo ngokwasengqondweni. Imizekelo yezicwangciso ezisebenzayo zibandakanya:

1. Ukunxiba amawele ngokwahlukileyo.

2. Ukunika amawele akho amagumbi okulala ahlukeneyo xa kunokwenzeka.
3. Ukwahlula amawele esikolweni kwakamsinya, ngeli xesha ukwahlukana kuya kunceda amawele ukuba akhule abe sisiqu sawo.
4. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba iwele ngalinye linabahlobo balo kunye nabahlobo ekwabelwana ngalo.
5. Ukukhuthaza umdla owahlukileyo xa kunokwenzeka.
6. Fundisa abantwana bakho ukuba ayizizo zonke izinto zokudlala kunye neempahla ezinokwabelwana ngazo.
7. Ukusebenza nabantwana bakho xa besilwa ukuqonda ukuba "zezikabani na" kwaye "ngubani onoxanduva lwempazamo" abathi ibingelo tyala labo.

Ezi nkolelo kunye nezenzo eziqhelekileyo zibalulekile kodwa azonelanga. Izigqibo zobuqu malunga neempawu ezizodwa zomntwana ngamnye kufuneka zichongwe kwaye ziphuhliswe.

Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, olona celomngeni lubaluleke kakhulu kubazali kukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obudlamkileyo nobahlukileyo, obuhlukeneyo nomntwana ngamnye. Ukuncamathelana okunzulu phakathi komzali nomntwana kuya kukhusela amawele ekuchongeni ngaphezulu komnye nomnye. Ukudala nokuphuhlisa ukuzimela sisiseko sobude bexesha elide lokuphila kakuhle ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasemzimbeni kwamawele. Ukunika abantwana bakho ithuba lokukhetha eyabo indlela kuya kubenza bakhulise imo eyodwa yabo ngokwabo ngokukhululekileyo nangokwemvelo.

Ukuzimela komntwana ngamnye kusekwe kuqhotyoshelweyo lomzali nomntwana kunye namawele. Uphando lwam lubonisa ukuba amawele anegama elaziwa njengamawele kunye nesazisi njengomntu ngamnye. Zombini ezi zinto zichongiweyo ziyadibana, ezibangela umlo, inzondo, kunye nolindelo olunamandla olungafumanekiyo. Xa uncamathiselo lomzali nomntwana lubekelwe bucala ngenxa yamawele amaninzi, amawele aya kuchongwa kunye kwaye adideke ngokuba ngubani onoxanduva lokukhathalela iimfuno kunye nemidla yabo eyahlukileyo. Ukungenelela kudala ukuthembela ngaphezulu komnye nomnye kwaye kungakhokelela ekubanjweni okunzulu kophuhliso kubomi bonke.

Amawele anokuba noloyiko lokuzazi-eyona nto anokuba yiyo-kuba azibeka emngciphekweni wokulimaza okanye ukudanisa umzalwana okanye udade wabo ngokuba "ungcono." Okanye kwezinye iimeko, amawele awakwazi ukwahlula ngokucacileyo kumawele awo. Umzekelo, enkulisa udadewethu uchithe ipeyinti ezinweleni zakhe kwaye bendilila kuba ndicinga ukuba lityala lam. Ukudideka kwamawele ngamawele yingxaki enkulu yokuba abazali bajonge ngononophelo. Ngelishwa, umama wayengazazi iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zokundivumela ukuba ndihoye udadewethu. Ukungabikho komama kumdla wengqondo kubuni bethu kunye nomsindo omnye komnye kwandikhuthaza ukuba ndiqonde ukuba kutheni amawele enengxaki yokuvana.

Ngokwenyani abazali banokusebenza ngokuzimela ngokuphatha usana ngalunye olukhulayo njengolwahlukileyo. Umzekelo, i-Twin A iyakuthanda ukukuva ucula "Rock a Bye, Baby," ngelixa i-Twin B ikhetha ukukuva ucula "u-Old McDonald Wayenefama." Iwele u-A lithanda ukulala neenkomo zalo ezixineneyo, kwaye i-Twin B ikhetha ihagu yayo egxothiweyo. Ngononophelo phuhlisa le minqweno ikhethekileyo-izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandiyo ebantwaneni bakho- njengoko ezi yantlukwano ziya kukhuthaza ukukhula kobuntu ngendlela ebonakalayo nenokuchongwa enokuthi isetyenziswe ngabanye abalondolozi ukumisela isazisi esiqhelekileyo njengesiqhelo kwaye sinokuqikelelwa.

Esinye isicwangciso esiza kuphuhlisa unxibelelwano phakathi komzali nomntwana kukubhala amabali malunga newele ngalinye lobuntwana ngokusekwe kwinto umntwana afuna ukukuxelela yona. Gcina la mabali kwijenali kwaye wahluke ngokupheleleyo kwaye wongeze kuwo njengoko amawele akho ekhula kwaye ekhula. Umzekelo ovela kumawele abantwana endikhe ndasebenza nawo ume ngolu hlobo lulandelayo.

UBetty, oneminyaka emi-5 ubudala, uchitha ingokuhlwa enye ngenyanga esebenza ngebali lakhe lobomi, alichazela umama wakhe. UBetty uthi ndicela undibhalele le. “Ndiyazi ukuba ndiliwele. Abazali bam bathetha nam malunga nokuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba liwele. Ndiyakuthanda ukudlala nobhuti wam. Ngamanye amaxesha ndinqwenela ukuba nodade endaweni yomntakwethu. Ndonwabile ukuba nomninawa wam oza kudlala naye kwaye sichithe ubusuku kunye naye. Ngamanye amaxesha siyalwa esenza umama notata babe nomsindo. Sinexesha elinzima lokwabelana ngeethoyi zethu kunye nokulwa imidlalo yevidiyo. Kodwa ndihlala ndinaye umntu kwaye ndiba buhlungu xa uBenjamin efuna ukuba yedwa okanye adlale nomnye umntu. ”

UBenjamin, omncinci ngemizuzu eyi-10 kunodadewabo uBetty, ucela umama ukuba abhale ibali lobomi bakhe. Uyacacisa, “Wonke umntu uyandibuza ukuba uphi udade wethu uBetty namhlanje. Ndidiniwe ukuba liwele. UBetty ufumana ingqalelo enkulu kubahlobo bethu nakubamelwane. Ndinqwenela ukuba abantu bandibuze ukuba ndinjani. Abazali bam nootatomkhulu bacinga ukuba ukuba liwele kuyinto ekhethekileyo. Kodwa andiqinisekanga ukuba i-twinship inkulu kakhulu. Ndidikwe kukwabelana ngezinto zam noBetty. Ndinqwenela ukuba angadlali nabahlobo bam kodwa uyakhala kwaye aqinisekise abazali ukuba angazibandakanya. Ndandimthanda kakhulu uBetty xa sasisebancinci. ”

La mabali obomi ayongezwa njengoko iinyanga zihamba kwaye ziye zirekhodi leemvakalelo ezilungileyo nezimbi amawele anazo omnye komnye. Ngokubonisa iyantlukwano, ukwahluka kwewele ngalinye kubhaliwe kwaye kungathunyelwa kulo xa kukho imfuneko yoko. Njengamawele ekukhuleni ayonwabela kwaye afumana ukuqonda ukuba ngoobani ngokufunda ngobomi babo bokuqala. Abazali bayakwazi ukubona into elungileyo nengalunganga malunga nolwalamano lwabantwana babo kunye nendlela abanokubakhuthaza ngayo ubuqu babodwa. Ukukhulisa ubuntu obukhethekileyo bomntwana ngamnye kufuna ubuchule kunye nenkuthazo yokuphumelela.

Izigqibo

Amawele abonisa imiba ekhethekileyo yokukhulisa abantwana yabazali. Okokuqala, amawele asondele kakhulu kwaye kunzima ukwahlulahlula. Ukunyanga amawele njengabantu ngabanye ngumceli mngeni onzima. Okwesibini, abantu bangaphandle abavela kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakholelwa ukuba onke amawele kufuneka kwaye asondelelene. Le ntelekelelo ilungeleleneyo yamawele ibangela uxinzelelo olukhulu kubazali kunye namawele ukuba babe ziikopi omnye komnye kwaye kwenza ukuba kube nzima ukukhulisa amawele. Njengokuba abazali befunda ukuba amawele ahlukile omnye komnye kwaye ahlukile njengababini kwamanye amawele, kugxilwe kubunye kuya kuguquka kwaye ubuntu buya kukhula kakuhle. Ukuphila ngokwasemoyeni kunxulumene nokulingana phakathi komntu kunye nokuncamathisela.