Amaxhoba okudlwengulwa kunye neNtengiso yeMitshato

Le ibiyiveki yemibuzo malunga nodlwengulo. Ugqirha Phil waqala kuyo yonke into ngokubuza abalandeli bakhe uluvo lwabo malunga nokulala namantombazana anxilileyo. Oku kukhuthaze abaninzi ukuba babuze ukuba yintoni (okanye, ukuba) wayenokuba wayecinga ntoni xa esithi ukwamkeleka kokulalana nabafazi abakwishumi elivisayo abanxilileyo kwakuxhomekeke kwingxoxo-mpikiswano. Impendulo leyo ikhokelele uTracy Clark-Flory eSalon ukuba abuze uthotho lwemibuzo; imibuzo ebalulekileyo malunga nendlela esicinga ngayo ngodlwengulo, uninzi lwayo olungenazo iimpendulo ezicacileyo.

Ndinombuzo ngodlwengulo. Okwam ngumbuzo onokuthi, ndiyakholelwa, ukuba uphendulwe ngumphandi onomdla owayezimisele ukuthatha ixesha lokujonga kwaye athathele ingqalelo ubungqina obunamandla. Okwangoku, ngumbuzo ongenampendulo icacileyo. Kodwa yenye ndiyakholelwa ukuba kufanelekile ukuyibuza.

Nanku ke lo mbuzo: Ingaba ukuvavanywa komonakalo owenziwe kwixhoba lodlwengulo kungumsebenzi wexabiso elibonwayo kwintengiso yomtshato (okt ixabiso lakhe emadodeni) ngexesha lodlwengulo?

Okanye, into ethe ngqo ngakumbi, enokuvavanywa ngokwasemoyeni, yokuqikelela: Ngaba iijaji ziphumeza izivakalisi eziqatha xa ixhoba lodlwengulo lingumfazi ekukholelwa ukuba ubenamathuba amahle okuthengisa emtshatweni ngexesha lokudlwengulwa xa kuthelekiswa nomntu okholelwa ukuba wayenomtshato ombi amathuba entengiso ngexesha lodlwengulo.

Kwaye, ngumbuzo obalulekileyo lowo kuba xa kuvavanywa oku kwenzekileyo, icebisa inkolelo yokuba abantu ababhinqileyo abadlwengulweyo “zizinto ezonakeleyo” - ukuba amadoda azakubavavanya njengongabalulekanga kangako kwintengiso yomtshato.

Nayi imizekelo emine apho ndibona kunokwenzeka ukuba isikhundla somfazi kwintengiso yomtshato ngexesha lokudlwengulwa kwakhe kuthathelwa ingqalelo xa kuvavanywa ingozi ayinyamezeleyo.

Kukholelwa ngokubanzi ukuba abafazi ababonisa ubunyulu banexabiso eliphezulu kwimarike yomtshato kunabasetyhini abangakwenziyo; Iintombi ezinyulu zikwimfuno ephezulu kwaye, ngenxa yoko, zinethuba lokutshata phantsi kweemeko ezingcono kunabafazi abangazani nandoda.

Ngaba ixabiso eliphezulu lokuba nyulu kwintengiso yomtshato likhokelela kwisigqibo sokuba amaxhoba odlwengulo anyulu enziwe kakubi kunabasetyhini abakhe banamaqabane ezesondo angaphambili? Okanye, ngokwemiqathango ngokubanzi, ngaba abantu ababhinqileyo abebenamaqabane ambalwa ezenzakaliswe kakhulu kunabafazi abaye baninzi?

Abathengisi ngemizimba babonwa njengabanexabiso eliphantsi kwiimarike zomtshato; bakwimfuno ephantsi kwaye ke xa betshata batshata phantsi kweemeko ezihlwempuzekileyo kunabasetyhini kweminye imisebenzi. Ekuvavanyeni ubungozi bokudlwengulwa, ngaba kuyaqondakala ukuba abathengisi ngemizimba benzakele kancinci kunabanye abantu basetyhini abanokuthi, kungenjalo, benze ngcono kwimarike yomtshato?

Le ngcamango yemarike yomtshato ingachaza inkolelo eqhubekayo yokuba ukudlwengulwa ngumlingane akubi yingozi kunokuba kudlwengulwa enye indoda ukuba sikholelwa ukuba umfazi odlwengulwe yindoda yakhe akayi kufumana utshintsho kwixabiso laloo ndoda kwaye umfazi otshatileyo odlwengulwa yenye indoda uzokwehla kwixabiso kumyeni wakhe.

Abasetyhini base-Afrika baseMelika bakhangela kwiimarike ezinzima kakhulu kunabafazi balo naluphi na olunye uhlanga; kunqabile ukuba kuncinci ukuba batshate nangaliphi na ixesha ebomini babo. Ngaba inkolelo yokuba ixhoba lokudlwengulwa kwabaNtsundu lalinethemba lokuthengisa emtshatweni ngelixesha lokudlwengulwa, iyayichaza into yokuba akenzanga nzulu kangako kunowomfazi omhlophe owayesengozini yokutshata?

Ndiyathemba ukuba kuyacaca ukuba xa ndibeka le mibuzo andicebisi ukuba yile ndlela thina kufanele cinga ngomonakalo odalwe ludlwengulo. Ndiyabuza ukuba le yindlela okanye hayi yenza cinga ngengozi. Kungenxa yokuba ukuba siyakwenza oko - ukuba silinganisa ixabiso lomfazi kwintengiso yomtshato ngexesha lokudlwengulwa- ndicinga ukuba kufanelekile ngengxoxo enzulu malunga nembono yoluntu malunga nexabiso lexhoba lodlwengulo kwimarike yomtshato.