Ukuzikhohlisa kunye nokuPhepha: Kutheni le nto Senza Oko Sikwenzayo?

Umxholo

• Ngamanye amaxesha ukuzikhohlisa kunokuba yindlela yokukhusela okwethutyana ukuzithemba kwakho.
• Isizathu sokuphepha
• Ukusetyenziswa kwayo kukuzithemba
• Kwenziwe ntoni?

Ngamanye amaxesha ukuzikhohlisa kunokuba yindlela yokukhusela okwethutyana ukuzithemba kwakho.

Ukuxoka lelinye lamandla ethu aphezulu aphuhliswe yindaleko. Ngendlela, yiyo isinceda sisinde kwiimeko ezithile.

Ke, ukuzikhohlisa kunemisebenzi emibini: kwindawo yokuqala, ivumela ukukhohlisa abanye ngendlela engcono (kuba akukho mntu uxoka ngcono kunomntu ozixokelayo), eluncedo ngakumbi kwixesha apho ukukwazi ukunxibelelana nabanye (ubukrelekrele kwezentlalo) bufumene kuqala, kusetyenziswa kwiimeko ezininzi ubuqhetseba njengesixhobo esisisiseko (jonga naliphi na ishishini). Oko akuthethi ukuba ubuqhetseba nokuxoka ziikhonsepthi ezimbini ezifanayo, kodwa mhlawumbi xa usayina ikhontrakthi nenkampani akukho mntu ukuxelelayo "siyifuna ngenene imali yakho."

Kwelinye icala, Ukuzikhohlisa yindlela yokugcina ukuzithemba kwaye inxulumene noko ukuphepha. Ewe, ukuzikhohlisa yindlela yokuphepha. Kwaye yintoni esiyiphephayo?

Isizathu sokuphepha

Siziphepha iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kwezona ndlela zokuyila unokucinga ngazo. Umzekelo, ngokwemodeli yokuphepha eyahlukileyoUkuxhalaba, njengonobangela wokuphazamiseka koxinzelelo ngokubanzi, kuya kuzalisekisa umsebenzi wokuthintela ukubekwa elubala "phantsi", kutshintsho ukusuka ekuvaleni iimvakalelo ezilungileyo ukuya kuva imvakalelo engalunganga (into enje ngokuba "kuba iingxaki ziyinxalenye engenakuphepheka. yobomi, ukuba ndinexhala xa yonke into ihamba kakuhle, ndikulungele xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle). Ngamafutshane, luhlobo lwengcinezelo yeemvakalelo.

Ukukhathazeka kunciphisa ukungahambi kakuhle kubukho bengxaki, njengelinge lokuzama ukuyisombulula. Njengokuba ndizikhathaza ngengxaki, ndiziva ngathi ndenza "into" ukuyisombulula, nokuba ayiyisombululi, oko ke kunciphisa ukungonwabi kwam malunga nokungayilungisi ingxaki. I-Hypochondria, kwelinye icala, yindlela yokufihla uphawu lwe-egocentric (isigulana sigxile kuye kangangokuba sikholelwa ukuba yonke into iyenzeka kuye). Ngokwendlela yebhayoloji oku kuthetha ukuba ingqondo yethu iyonqena.

Ukuzikhohlisa sisiqwengana esidalelwe sona ngokungakwazi ukwenza ukuba sikrelekrele okanye sikwazi ukujongana neemfuno ezithile zangaphandle. Okanye kunoko, kungenxa yokungakwazi kweentlobo zabantu ukuguquka kwaye utshintsho ngesantya esifanayo nehlabathi esiphila kulo.

Umzekelo, igama likaFestinger elithi discsonance dissonance libhekisa kukungonwabi okubangelwa kukungahambelani phakathi kwexabiso lethu kunye nezenzo zethu. Kule meko sibhenela ekuzikhohliseni ukuze sichaze izenzo zethu.

Ukulungelelaniswa kolunye uhlobo lokuzikhohlisa apho sinika inkcazo ebonakala ngathi inengqiqo ngesenzo esidlulileyo Akunjalo okanye kwakungekho sizathu sokwenza njalo.

Ukusetyenziswa kwayo kukuzithemba

Masikucacise oku: ukuzithemba okanye ukuxabiseka esikwenzayo ngokwethu ngokusekwe kwindlela esiyiyo, esikwenzayo nokuba kutheni sisenza oko, kuvelisa ukungonwabi ukuba ngaba awunayo.

Ukungakhululeki yimvakalelo yokuziqhelanisa nomsebenzi wayo kukucinga kwakhona ngento engalunganga ebomini bethu ukuyiguqula. Nangona kunjalo, ingqondo yethu, ekrelekrele kakhulu kwaye engavumiyo ukutshintsha, ithi “kutheni sizakutshintsha izinto ezincinci ebomini bethu, sijongane nenyani esenzakalisayo okanye eyoyikisayo, sithathe umngcipheko njengokuyeka umsebenzi, sithethe nomntu othile malunga into engathandekiyo, njl.

Ukuzikhohlisa kunye nokuthintela ziindlela zokunciphisa inkcitho yamandla ukuba ingqondo kufuneka isetyenzise ukulungisa unxibelelwano, iguqulelwe kwiindlela zokuziphatha, izimo zengqondo kunye neempawu (ezine-neurobiological substrate yazo zezonxibelelwano olulinganayo noluzinzileyo kwingqondo yethu). Kwimeko yengqondo, oko kuthetha ukuba indlela esiziphatha ngayo kunye nolwazelelo lwethu lokuqonda zinendlela yobuqu engenakuguqulwa ukujongana nemiba yendalo esingayilungelanga.

Uninzi lwezinto esizisebenzisayo ukucinga ukuba zihlala zibangela ucalucalulo okanye iimpazamo kwaye sijolise ekugcineni ukuzithemba kwethu. Kuyatshiwo ukuba abantu abadandathekileyo bathambekele ekubeni babenokwenyani kuba ukuqhubekeka kwengqondo yabo akujoliswanga kugcinwe kuvavanyo oluqinisekileyo. Ngapha koko, ngenxa yesi sizathu ukudakumba kuyosulela: intetho yomntu oxinezelekileyo iyahambelana kangangokuba abantu ababangqongileyo banokuyifunda ngaphakathi nayo. Kodwa abaguli abanokudakumba kananjalo abaphephi kwezinye iindlela zokuzikhohlisa, kancinci ukuphepha.

Njengoko uKahneman esitsho, abantu bathambekele ekubonakaliseni ukubaluleka kwethu kwaye bayijongela phantsi indima yeziganeko. Inyani yile yokuba inyani inzima kangangokuba asinakuze sazi ngokupheleleyo ukuba kutheni sisenza into esiyenzayo. Izizathu esinokukholelwa kuzo, ukuba aziyomveliso yokuzikhohlisa kunye nokuphepha, ziyinxalenye encinci yezinto ezahlukeneyo, imisebenzi kunye nezizathu esinokuthi sizibone.

Umzekelo, Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu yi-egosyntonicOko kukuthi, iimpawu azibangeli ukungonwabi kwisigulana, ke ucinga ukuba iingxaki anazo zibangelwa ziimeko ezithile zobomi bakhe hayi ubuntu bakhe. Nangona izinto zokuvavanya nasiphi na isigulo zibonakala zicacile kwiDSM, uninzi lwazo akukho lula ukuzibona kudliwanondlebe. Umntu onesifo esi-narcissistic akazi ukuba yonke into ayenzayo ijolise ekonyuseni i-ego yakhe, kanye njengokuba umntu ophazamisayo engathatheli ngqalelo kwinqanaba lakhe lokuphapha.

Kwenziwe ntoni?

Uninzi lweekhonsepthi kwizifundo zengqondo zinokufakwa kwi-pigeonholed ekuzikhohliseni okanye ekuthinteleni. Eyona nto ixhaphakileyo nakuluphi na uthethathethwano lwengqondo kukuba abaguli benza indlela yokuphepha abazikhohlisa ngayo ukuze bangacingi ukuba bayayiphepha. Ngaloo ndlela ingxaki iqhubela phambili ngokuqiniswa okungalunganga okunamandla.

Ngenxa yoko, kubalulekile ukuba sichaze ubuntu bethu obufanelekileyo kwaye sivavanye loo nkcazo ngokusesikweni, sifumanisa ukuba zeziphi izinto ezinokulawulwa kwaye ezinokutshintshwa, kwaye zeziphi ezingekhoyo. Kwangaphambili kuyimfuneko ukucebisa ngezisombululo ezizizo. Malunga nokugqibela, kubalulekile ukubamkela kwaye urhoxe ekubalulekeni kwabo. Nangona kunjalo, olu hlalutyo lufuna uyeke ukuphepha kunye nokuzikhohlisa.