Ukuthetha Nabantwana Abancinci Ngokufa

Umxholo

• Nantsi imibuzo eqhelekileyo malunga nokufa kunye nezinye iimpendulo:
• Uninzi lwabantwana abancinci balawula ilahleko ngokuziphatha kwabo.
• Kuthekani ngentlungu yomzali?
• Nceda abantwana bakhumbule.

Abantwana abancinci badideka ngokulula kukufa kwaye bafuna ingcaciso ecacileyo nechanekileyo xa umntu esifa. Oku kuyinyani nokuba umntu abamaziyo usweleke ngesiquphe, ngengozi engalindelekanga okanye ukugula (umhlaza, i-COVID-19), okanye ukwaluphala. Abazali nabanye abantu abadala abakhathalela abantwana kufuneka basebenzise ulwimi olucacileyo noluthembekileyo ukucacisa okwenzekileyo nokuphendula imibuzo yabantwana.

• Zichaze ngokucacileyo izibakala. Xa abazali bengqala, abantwana baqonda ngcono. Banokusebenzisa ulwimi njengokuthi, “uGrammy wagula kakhulu kwimiphunga nasentliziyweni. Wayenengxaki yokuphefumla. Oogqirha benze konke okusemandleni ukumnceda aphile, kodwa wasweleka, ”okanye,“ uMakazi uMaria wasweleka. Wafumana intsholongwane ebizwa ngokuba yi-COVID-19 (okanye wayesengozini yemoto, njl. Njl.), Kwaye umzimba wakhe wadinwa / wenzakala ngenxa yoko nangona wayesemncinci. ” Sebenzisa ulwimi olucacileyo njengokuthi, “Xa umntu eswelekile, oko kuthetha ukuba akasakwazi ukuthetha okanye ukudlala. Asinakubabona okanye sibange kwakhona. Ukusweleka kuthetha ukuba imizimba yabo iyekile ukusebenza. ”
• Yiya kancinci uphendule imibuzo yabantwana. Abazali kufuneka bazi ukuba abanye abantwana baya kubuza imibuzo, kwaye abanye abayi kuyibuza. Yiya ngesantya somntwana. Ukuba ulwazi oluninzi lunikezelwa ngaxeshanye, banokuba nexhala ngakumbi okanye badideke. Eminye imibuzo yabantwana iza ngokukhawuleza kwiintsuku okanye iiveki ezininzi njengoko bezama ukuqonda into eyenzekileyo.

Nantsi imibuzo eqhelekileyo malunga nokufa kunye nezinye iimpendulo:

• Uphi uGrammy ngoku? Abantwana abasabhabhisayo banokudideka okanye boyikiswe lulwimi olungacacanga olufana nokuthi, "uGrammy uye kwindawo engcono," okanye "uMakazi uMaria usweleke." Umntwana omncinci unokukholelwa ukuba loo mntu ukwenye indawo okanye udidekile ligama elithi "kudlule." Ngamanye amaxesha ukufa kuchazwa “njengokugoduka” okanye “ukulala ngonaphakade.” Abantwana abaselula bangaqala ukoyika imisebenzi yesiqhelo, njengokuya ekhaya emva kokuphuma okanye ukulala. Endaweni yoko, abazali banokunika inkcazo elula, efanelekileyo ubudala ebonisa iinkolelo zabo.
• Ngaba uza kufa? Luqonde olu loyiko, kodwa emva koko unike isiqinisekiso. Abanonopheli bangathi, “Ndiyabona ukuba kutheni ukhathazekile yile nto, kodwa ndomelele kwaye ndisempilweni. Ndiza kuba lapha ukukunyamekela ixesha elide. ” Ukuba umntu omncinci okanye osondele kakhulu nomntwana usweleke ngesiquphe, kungathatha ixesha elide ukuba usebenze ngenxa yoloyiko kunye noxinzelelo. Linda. Kulungile ukuba abazali bavume ukuba kunzima ukuqonda ukuba kutheni izinto ezimbi zisenzeka.
• Ngaba ndiza kufa? Unentsholongwane? Unengozi yemoto? Abantwana banokukhunjuzwa ngayo yonke into abayenzayo ukuze bahlale bephilile kwaye bekhuselekile. Abazali banokuthi, “Sihlamba izandla zethu, sinxibe iimaski esidlangalaleni, kwaye sihlala ekhaya kakhulu ngoku ukuphepha i-coronavirus. Sitya ngokuchanekileyo, silala ngokuchanekileyo, kwaye siya kwagqirha asincede sihlale sisempilweni kwaye siphile ixesha elide. ” Okanye, "Sibopha amabhanti emotweni kwaye silandela imigaqo yendlela ukunqanda iingozi kangangoko sinako."
• Ngaba wonke umntu uyafa? Nangona kunzima, abazali benza ngcono ngokuthetha inyani ngokuthi, “Ekugqibeleni, wonke umntu uyafa. Abantu abaninzi bayafa sele baluphele njengeGrammy. ” Okanye, “Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka izinto ezimbi, kwaye kubuhlungu kwaye kuyothusa xa abantu besifa ngesiquphe. Kulungile ukuba woyike kwaye ube lusizi. Ndilapha kanye nawe. ”
• Ndingafa ukuze ndikwazi ukuba kunye neGrammy / uMakazi uMaria? Lo mbuzo uvela kwindawo yokulahleka kwabo babathandayo. Oko akuthethi ukuba umntwana ufuna ukufa. Hlala uzolile kwaye uthi, “Ndiyayiqonda into yokuba ufuna ukuba kunye neGrammy / Makazi uMaria. Ndiyamkhumbula nam. Xa umntu eswelekile, abanakudlala ngeebhloko, okanye batye i-ayisikhrim, okanye baphinde bajike. Angathanda ukuba uzenze zonke ezo zinto, kwaye nam ndiyazenza. ”
• Kufa ntoni? Abantwana abancinci abanako ukukuqonda ngokupheleleyo ukufa. Abantu abadala bayasokola naloo nto! Inokukunceda ukunika inkcazo elula, ephathekayo. Yithi, “Umzimba kamakazi uMaria uyekile ukusebenza. Wayengakwazi ukutya, okanye ukudlala, okanye ukuhambisa umzimba wakhe kwakhona. ”

Uninzi lwabantwana abancinci balawula ilahleko ngokuziphatha kwabo.

Nokuba abantwana abakuqondi ngokupheleleyo ukusweleka, bayazi ukuba into enzulu nehlala ihleli yenzekile-iinyanga ezintathu nje ubudala! Iintsana zinokuba noburhalarhume obukhulu okanye zinamathele kakhulu. Banokubonisa utshintsho kwindlela yokulala okanye yangasese. Olu tshintsho luhlala lolwexeshana kwaye luyancipha ngokuhamba kwexesha xa abanonopheli bephendula ngobubele, umonde, nothando oluthe kratya kunye nengqwalaselo.

Abazali banokubona abantwana abancinci bedlala imidlalo "yokufa". Abanye abantwana bazenza ngathi badlala apho uloliwe wokudlala okanye isilwanyana esasifakelweyo sigula okanye senzakalise kwaye “sife,” mhlawumbi nangogonyamelo. Abazali bafuna ukuqinisekiswa ukuba le yinto eqhelekileyo. Abantwana basibonisa ngomdlalo wabo ukuba bacinga ntoni kwaye bazikhathaza ngantoni. Cinga ukongeza ikiti kagqirha okanye iambulensi kukhetho lwezinto zokudlala zomntwana. Abazali banokuzibandakanya kwidrama yomntwana ukuba nje bayabavumela ukuba bakhokele umdlalo. Ixesha elingaphezulu, oku kugxila kuya kuphela.

Abantwana abancinci bahlala bebuza imibuzo efanayo kaninzi. Kunokuba nzima ngabantu abadala ukuqhubeka bephendula imibuzo efanayo malunga nokufa komntu omthandayo. Kodwa le yindlela ebalulekileyo yokuba abantwana abaselula baqonde okwenzekileyo. Abantwana abancinci bafunda ngokuphindaphinda, ke ukuva iinkcukacha ezifanayo kuphindaphinda kubanceda baqonde amava.

Kuthekani ngentlungu yomzali?

Abazali banokuzibuza ukuba ngaba kulungile ukuba buhlungu kwaye ukhale phambi komntwana wabo, kwaye kunokubakho izinto zenkcubeko zokuba oko kuziva kukhululekile. Ukuba abazali baxhokonxa phambi kwabantwana babo, kubalulekile ukuba bachaze. Banokuthi, “Ndiyalila, kuba ndibuhlungu kukuba uGrammy / uMakazi uMaria eswelekile. Ndiyamkhumbula."

Abazali banokufuna ukukhunjuzwa ukuba abantwana abancinci ngokwemvelo bayazingca kwaye kufuneka baxelelwe ngokuthe ngqo ukuba akukho nanye kwezi ziziphoso zabo. Oku kunokuba kubaluleke kakhulu ngexesha lobhubhane we-COVID-19, nanjengoko abantwana bexelelwa ukuba abanakubabona abahlobo babo okanye oomakhulu nootatomkhulu babo “ngoko ke sonke sihlala sisempilweni,” kwaye abanye basenokuba baqonda ukuba banokosulela abo babathandayo. (Abantwana abasele bekhulile banokuthatha iingcezu zolwazi malunga nokusweleka kwaye bazive benetyala ngempazamo. Zama ukucacisa "vector" kumntwana oneminyaka emi-3!) Ukuba intlungu yomzali iba nzima, bakhuthaze ukuba bafumane inkxaso. Ukuba usizi lomntwana lukhulu, luyazingisa, luyaphazamisa ekudlaleni nasekufundeni, okanye luchaphazela indlela abaziphethe ngayo ngokubanzi, banokufuna inkxaso.

Nceda abantwana bakhumbule.

Abazali kufuneka bathethe kwaye bakhumbuze malunga nabahlobo babo okanye ilungu losapho kunye nomntwana wabo. Banokuqaqambisa iinkumbulo zabathandekayo ngeendlela ezininzi. Banokuthi, “Masenze iimuffins ezithandwayo zeGrammy ngale ntsasa. Singamkhumbula xa sibhaka kunye. ” Okanye, "Umakazi uMaria uhlala ethanda ii-tulips; masityale ezinye iityali kwaye simkhumbule ngalo lonke ixesha sibona iitulips. ”

USarah MacLaughlin, uLSW, kunye noRebecca Parlakian, M.Ed., banegalelo kwesi sithuba. USara ngunontlalontle, utitshala ongumzali, kunye nombhali wencwadi ephumelele amabhaso, ethengisa kakhulu, Into Ongayithethiyo: Izixhobo Zokuthetha Nabantwana Abancinci . URebecca u-ZERO TO THREE umphathi omkhulu weenkqubo kwaye uphuhlisa izixhobo zabazali, ecaleni koqeqesho lwabazali kunye neengcali zabantwana abasaqalayo.