Ukufundisa abantwana malunga neMvume yokuQiniseka

Ngamabali amaninzi ngobundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo kwimithombo yeendaba, imvume ligama esiva ngalo ngakumbi nangakumbi. Nangona kunjalo, ngokubhekisele ekuziphatheni ngokwesondo, inkcazo yemvume itshintshile. Ngokuka-Merriam Webster, igama lichazwa njengemvume yento eyenzekayo okanye isivumelwano sokwenza into. Ngelixa ngokwesiko besifundisiwe ukuba “hayi akukho” njengoko inxulumene nokuziphatha ngokwesondo, kukho intshukumo eya kwimvume evumelekileyo kwaye “ewe kuthetha ewe.” Ngamanye amagama, kuba umntu esithi "hayi" ukuzibandakanya Ukuziphatha ngokwesondo, oko akuthethi ukuba bayavuma.Ukubaluleka kwemvume yokuvuma kwaqaqanjiswa kunyaka ophelileyo xa izityholo zokuziphatha gwenxa ngokwesondo zaziswa kumhlekisi uAziz Ansari malunga nokudibana ngokwesondo akuchaze njengokuvumelana.

Okwangoku, "ewe kuthetha ewe" umthetho upasisiwe ngamazwe amathathu (eNew, York, California, naseConnecticut) kwaye kungoku nje iphambi kweminye imithetho yowiso-mthetho. Imithetho yemvume eqinisekisiweyo igunyazisa ukufundiswa kwemvume yokuzivuma njengenqanaba eliqhelekileyo kwiikholeji zekholeji. ECalifornia, izikolo eziphakamileyo zikwacelwa ukuba zifundise imvume yokuvuma kwabafundi kwiiklasi zempilo. Ukongeza, ngaphandle komthetho welizwe, iikholeji ezininzi zamkele imigaqo-nkqubo yokuvuma kwabafundi kwiikhampasi zabo. Oku kuthetha ukuba xa umntu oza kuba liqabane lakho elithe cwaka engakhathali, engenandaba, engekho zingqondweni, elele, okanye enxile kakhulu okanye ephezulu ukuba angavuma, ubudlelwane bezesondo abunakwenzeka. Ngelixa umthetho usithi imvume inokunikezwa ngamagama okanye ngezenzo, ukuba kukho ukuthandabuza, umntu lowo kufuneka abuze.

Ke siyifundisa njani imvume yabantwana bethu? Ngelixa kulula ukucinga ukuba izinto ezinjengokuvuma kokuvuma ziya kufundiswa esikolweni okanye nje ukuba bafike ekholejini, oku akufuneki kuthenjelwe kuko. Imvume yokuqinisekisa yinto ekufuneka ifundisiwe, imodareyithwe kwaye ixoxwe ngalo lonke ixesha lokuphila komntwana wakho hayi xa besabelana ngesondo okanye besiya ekholejini.

Oku kulandelayo zizicwangciso ezithile zokufundisa abantwana malunga nemvume yokuqinisekisa:

1. Xa abantwana bakho besebancinci, vumela abantwana bakho ukuba benze izigqibo malunga nokuchukunyiswa. Oku kuthetha ukunganyanzeli imikhaza okanye ukwanga kunye nokubanga ngaphandle kokucela imvume kuqala. Ikwathetha ukuba kufuneka sisihloniphe isigqibo sabo ukuba bathi hayi. Ngelixa abantwana bethu befanele ukuba nembeko kwaye babulise izihlobo kunye nezihlobo ngokufanelekileyo ngokubulisa ngomlomo okanye ukubambana ngesandla / ngenqindi ukuba abonwabanga ngokwangana nokwanga loo minqweno kufuneka ihlonishwe.
2. Ngabantwana abakwiminyaka yokuhamba isikolo, ufuna ukusebenza kwizinto zabo ezinokubaluleka. Yiyo loo nto ungabanika iimeko ezifanelekileyo ubudala kubandakanywa imiba yemvume (ezi zingenziwa iimeko okanye iimeko ezivela kumabonakude okanye kumabali eendaba) kwaye ubabuze ukuba bangazisingatha njani ezo meko nokuba bazakwenza ntoni. Ufuna ukubabuza imibuzo evulelekileyo ukuze baqwalasele zonke iinkalo zemeko. Oku emva koko ibafundisa indlela yokuvavanya iimeko ngokunzulu ngokwabo kwixesha elizayo.
3. Ngabaselula, ufuna ukuthetha nabo malunga nobudlelwane obusempilweni- kunye nokuba zikhangeleka njani. Ufuna ukumodareyitha ezo ndlela zokuziphatha kubudlelwane bakho. Ukuba wenze iimpazamo, thetha nabakwishumi elivisayo ngazo uze ubaxelele izinto ozifundileyo. Njengolutsha luqala ukuba neentlobano zesini kufuneka ujonge kwakhona ukuba yeyiphi na imvume kunye nendlela yokucela imvume yokuvuma kumaqabane abo.
4. Xa uthetha nolutsha kunye nabantu abadala abancinci bayagxininisa ukuba imvume inamandla- okuthetha ukuba inokutshintsha ngexesha lokuhlangana ngesondo. Umzekelo, ngenxa yokuba iqabane lithi ewe ukubandakanyeka kwi-foreplay akuthethi ukuba bavumile ukulala. Ukongeza, nokuba kunikwe imvume, umntu angayirhoxisa imvume yakhe ngexesha lokudibana. Xa imvume irhoxisiwe, ubudlelwane bezesondo kufuneka buphele ngoko nangoko.
5. Okokugqibela, fundisa umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo okanye umntu omdala ukuba abe ngummeli okhutheleyo. Kunokubakho amaxesha apho bangqina okanye beve ingxoxo ngobudlelwane bezesondo obungavumelaniyo. Kukho ubungqina bokuba ukufundisa abafundi bezikolo eziphakamileyo kunye neekholeji ukuba babe ngabantu ababukeleyo-okuthetha ukuba bayanyuka, bathethe kwaye bangenelele-banokuthintela ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo. Iinkqubo zongenelelo ezibukeleyo ezinje ngeGreen Dot zifundisa abantu ukuba bangenelele njani ngokuthe ngqo okanye ngokungathanga ngqo xa bengqina okanye beva malunga nokuziphatha okungavumelaniyo ngokwesondo. Iikholeji ezininzi zeekholeji kwaye ezinye zezikolo eziphakamileyo kunye nezikolo eziphakathi zisebenzisa ezi ntlobo zeenkqubo. Abazali banokufunda ngezi ntlobo zeenkqubo kwaye baqinise iindlela abazifundisayo nabantwana babo.