Ubugcisa bokuThobeka

Ekuboneni kokuqala, umyalelo wokuba uthobeke awuvakali unomtsalane. Kubonakala ngathi kuyangqubana nokuzithemba kwethu kwangoku kokuzithemba kunye nokuzixabisa, kunye nokuphikisana neengcebiso ezikuyo yonke indawo zokuba kufuneka sibhiyozele impumelelo yethu kwaye sizingce. Kodwa ukuthobeka akuthethi ukululama, kwaye akuthethi ukuba buthathaka. Ngapha koko, oku kulunga kwakudala akunanto yakwenza nokwamkelwa kwengqondo yokuzithoba okanye yokuthobela kwaye akufuneki ukuba uphazanyiswe kukuzithemba okuphantsi. Endaweni yoko, ukuthobeka luhlobo lokuthozama ngokomoya olubangelwa kukuqonda indawo yethu kulungelelwano lwezinto.

Singakuziqhelanisa nokuthatha inyathelo lokubuya umva kwiminqweno yethu kunye noloyiko, nangokujonga ngaphandle kwelo lizwe likhulu siyinxalenye yalo. Inxulumene nokutshintsha umbono wethu kunye nokuqonda ukubaluleka kwethu okulinganiselweyo kuloo mfanekiso mkhulu. Kuthetha ukuphuma kwibhabhu lethu kunye nokuziqonda njengamalungu oluntu, umzuzu othile wembali, okanye nokuba loluphi uhlobo oluneziphene. Okokugqibela, njengoko uSocrates wayesazi kakuhle, inento yokwenza nokuqonda ukuba singazi kangakanani kwaye siyazi indawo esingaboniyo kuyo.

Yiyo le nto kufuneka sonke sikhathalele ukuthobeka:

1. Ababhali abaninzi, bamandulo nabangoku, babonakalise ukuthobeka, kubandakanya uConfucius. Isithandi sobulumko samandulo saseTshayina sasikholelwa ekubeni ukwazi indawo yethu kwihlabathi elikhulu kwezentlalo, kunye nokuthobela amasiko nezithethe zentlalo, yayiliphanziso lobubi bexesha lakhe. Kwifilosofi yakhe, iimfuno zethu kunye neminqweno yethu ihlala isecaleni kwento ebonwa ilungile eluntwini ngokubanzi. Uhlobo lweConfucian lokuthobeka lubaluleke kakhulu kwintlalontle yomoya, ukuxabisa intlalontle yoluntu ngakumbi kunokwanelisa iminqweno kunye namabhongo ethu. Kule fomu, ukuthobeka kunokonyusa umanyano lwasekuhlaleni kunye nemvakalelo yokuba lilungu.
2. Ukuthobeka kukwaxabiseka okuphambili kubuKrestu, apho kuthatha uhlobo lokuzibamba kunye nokuzithoba kwintando kaThixo. Ngelixa uhlobo lobuKristu lokuthobeka- olunxulunyaniswa, njengoko kunjalo, netyala, iintloni, isono, kunye nokuzithiba- isenokungabi kokokuthanda komntu wonke, isekhona into ebalulekileyo ekufuneka ifundwe ngabafundi bezakwalizwi. Basifundisa ukuba sikuphephe ukuzikhukhumeza kunye nokuzithemba, ukuzibona siyinxalenye yohlobo olude kude nokugqibelela, kwaye sizikhumbuze ngendima encinci esinokuthi siyidlale eluntwini luphela.
3. Sonke sisenokuninzi ekufuneka sifunde, kungekuphela nje omnye komnye kodwa nakwezinye iintlobo. Ukuba besinokuphila ngakumbi njengezityalo, umzekelo, sinokufumanisa indlela esinokuphila ngayo ngokuvisisana nendalo kwaye singazami ukusebenzisa ubutyebi bayo ngokungakhathali. Izilwanyana, nazo, zinokuba ngootitshala abafundileyo. Ukuba besinokuhlala ngakumbi njengeekati-i-Zen-masters yonke-singafunda ukuba nelungelo lokuhlala kakuhle kunye nokuzikhathalela ngaphezulu kwemisebenzi engapheliyo, siyeke ukuzama kwethu ukuhoywa nokwamkelwa. Ukuba sinokuhlala ngakumbi njengeengcuka, sinokufunda isifundo okanye ezimbini malunga ne-intuition, ukuthembeka, kunye nexabiso lokudlala. (Jonga i-Pinkola-Estes 1992 kunye neRadinger 2017.)
4. Ukuthobeka kukwamkele ukwamkela iintsilelo zethu kunye nokuzama ukoyisa. Imalunga nokulungela ukufunda ezona ndlela zibalaseleyo kwabanye. Ukuthobeka kubandakanya ukufundiseka, ukucinga okubandakanya ukuzilungisa rhoqo kunye nokuziphucula. Ayisiyonto ilungileyo yakudala enembali ende etyebileyo, kodwa ikwahlukile ngokwengqondo. Njengoko uDavid Robson (2020) abonakalisile, uphando lwamva nje lwengqondo luye lwangqina ukuba abathobekileyo phakathi kwethu banenani elikhulu lezibonelelo. Isimo sengqondo esithobekileyo sinefuthe elibonakalayo lokuqonda, ukunxibelelana nabanye, kunye nezakhono zokwenza izigqibo. Abantu abathobekileyo bangabafundi abangcono kunye nokusombulula iingxaki. Abafundi abathobekileyo abavuleleke ngokunyanisekileyo ekuphenduleni bahlala befumana oontanga babo abanetalente abacinga kakhulu ngamakhono abo abalahla lonke icebiso. Olunye uphononongo lufumanise ukuba ukuthobeka kubaluleke ngakumbi njengesalathiso sokwenziwa komsebenzi kune-IQ. (UBradley P. Owens et al., 2013; kunye noKrumrei-Manusco et al., 2019) Ukuthobeka kwiinkokeli zethu, ngaphezulu koko, kukhuthaza ukuthembana, ukubandakanyeka, ukucinga ngobuchule bokuyila, kwaye ngokubanzi kukonyusa ukusebenza. (Rego et al., 2017; Ou et al., 2020; Cojuharenco kunye noKarelaia 2020.)
5. Ukuthobeka kubalulekile ukuze sikwazi ukufunda kunye nemfuneko ebalulekileyo yokuziphucula. Kuba ukuba asinakuvuma ukuba kukho izithuba kulwazi lwethu okanye iziphene kubuntu bethu, asisokuze sikwazi ukuthatha amanyathelo ayimfuneko ukulungisa oku.
6. Okokugqibela, ukuthobeka ikukuphela kwento esebenzayo ekuthinteleni i-narcissism. Kwiindlela ezininzi eyona nto iphambili kubudala bethu, i-narcissism ngumceli mngeni ekufuneka sijongane nawo kwinqanaba lomntu kunye nakwezentlalo ngokubanzi. (Twenge 2013) Ukuthobeka kunokuba sisilungiso senkcubeko kwindlela yethu yokujonga kakhulu ukuzithemba kunye nokuzithemba, eliye lakhula inani leengcali zeengqondo ngakumbi. (URicard 2015)

Zonke izinto eziqwalaselweyo, ke, kubonakala ngathi ukuvuselela ubugcisa bamandulo bokuthobeka yinto enyanzelekileyo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba, ukuthobeka kukulungela ukwamkela iimpazamo zethu kunye nokuzimisela ukufunda, nokuba oko kuvela ebantwini, kwezinye iinkcubeko, mandulo, kwizilwanyana, okanye kwizityalo - nabani na ophethe into esingayenziyo. Amathuba awapheli.