Uhambo lweNtlungu

Uphengululo lwe Intlungu luhambo: Ukufumana indlela yakho ngokulahleka . NguGqirha Kenneth J. Doka. Iincwadi zeAria. 304 iphe. $ 26.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, sonke siya kuba namathuba okuba buhlungu. Sibuhlungu xa kusweleka umntu esimthandayo, xa siqhawula umtshato, sikhubazeka, siphulukana nomsebenzi, sahlukana neqabane esithandana nalo, siphume isisu. Intlungu inokuba buhlungu, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Kodwa kunokuba luncedo. Njengokuba siphila nelahleko, uKenneth Doka uyasikhumbuza, singakhula kwaye sikhathazeke.

Kwi Intlungu Luhambo , UGqirha Doka, unjingalwazi weGerontology kwiSikolo seDanga leKholeji yaseNew Rochelle, umphathiswa omiselweyo kaLuther, kunye nomhleli I-Omega: Ijenali yokufa kunye nokufa , inikezela ngemfesane yokufelwa njengohambo lobomi bakho bonke. UDoka uvavanya “imisebenzi yosizi” emihlanu: ukwamkela ilahleko; ukujamelana nentlungu; ukulawula utshintsho; ukugcina izibophelelo; kunye nokwakha kwakhona ukholo kunye / okanye ifilosofi. Kuba umntu ngamnye wahlukile, uDoka uyacacisa, “ayikho enye indlela elungileyo yokufumana usizi. Nentlungu ayinalo ixesha. ”

Ingcebiso kaDoka isekwe ikakhulu emsebenzini wakhe wokuba ngumcebisi wentlungu. Uninzi lwayo- "kuthintele ukungxamela abo bakungqongileyo, ukuqhuba abanye kude, ukunciphisa umda wokuxhasa" -yinto evumayo. Kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, ithisisi ka-Doka ephindaphindwayo (akukho ubungakanani-obulungeleleneyo-yonke indlela yokulilela) isemfazweni ngokwakhiwa kwencwadi yakhe. Uyabhala: "Awungekhe uthelekise ilahleko yakho kunye nelahleko yabanye, okanye indlela osabela ngayo kwiimpendulo zabanye." Emva kokujonga amava abathengi abaninzi, nangona kunjalo, uDoka ucebisa ukuba "ukuqonda ezinye iindlela zokuhlangabezana nako kunokukuvumela ukuba umelane nelahleko kwaye ukhule kuyo."

Kwaye, mhlawumbi ngokungathandabuzekiyo, "kwindlela yokubhukisha," ukuzimisela kukaDoka ukuba angagwebi (ngekhe azise ukuba acebise malunga nokufuna oosiyazi) kuyarhoxa. Echaza iimvakalelo, ucebisa (ecaphula iqhalo lamaTshayina), “kukhokelela kwintlungu yomzuzwana kunye nokukhululeka kwexesha elide; ingcinezelo ikhokelela kwisiqabu somzuzwana nakwiintlungu zexesha elide. ”

Ngovuyo, uninzi lweengcebiso kwi Intlungu Luhambo ziluncedo kakhulu. UDoka ucebisa abantu ukuba bathathe isigqibo sokuba babeke umzali okanye utatomkhulu okhubazekileyo ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwasemzimbeni kwikhaya labalupheleyo ukuze bajongane "nosizi olulindelekileyo" ngokubonisa ngokuthe ngqo iimeko apho kunganzima kakhulu ukuqhubeka nokhathalelo lwasekhaya. Ngokwenza iphupha lokwenyani, eliqulathe izinto ezingumqondiso welahleko (ibhedi engenanto, ulwandle oluthandayo), utshilo uDoka, abazili banokunxibelelana neemvakalelo kwaye bachonge imiba engasonjululwanga. Ucebisa ukuba abo baphulukene neqabane okanye umntwana bacinge ngokucela uncedo ngaphambi kokuthatha isigqibo sokuba bazokulahla nini "izinto ezisizi" (iimpahla, izinto zokudlala, iibhokisi zokuwisa). UDoka ucebisa abantu abasentlungwini ukuba bacwangcise iiholide, ezinokubangela uxinzelelo, endaweni yokunikezela izigqibo kwabanye abaneenjongo ezintle. Kwaye abalilayo, uyabhala, banokuyila "ezinye iindlela," ukusukela kwinkonzo yesikhumbuzo ukulungiselela abo basentlungwini abo umgama okanye indima ithintela ukuya emngcwabeni, ukuya kumsitho waminyaka le wokunyusa imali yesisa egameni lomntu ongasekhoyo.

Okona kubalulekileyo, uDoka, owazisa umbono wokuba "usizi olungavumelekanga" ngo-1989, usikhumbuza ukuba ezinye ilahleko- kukusweleka komyeni okanye isithandwa esithandanayo; umntakwenu ovalelweyo; ukungachumi okuqhubekayo; Ukuphulukana nokholo lwenkolo-akuqapheleki okanye kuxhaswe ngabanye. Abantu abanentlungu engabanjwanga, ugxininisa, bahlala bebandezeleka bethe cwaka, kwaye banomxholo omncinci okanye abanawo kwaphela wokuqonda okanye wokuqhubekeka nokuphendula kwabo.

Ebuhlungu, uDoka uphinda athi, “ayiyonto engako ngokufa kungelona ilahleko.” Ucela abafundi bakhe ukuba bafumane intuthuzelo, njengoko enzile, ekuqwalaseleni ugxa wakhe ongasekhoyo, uRichard Kalish: “Nantoni na onayo ungaphulukana nayo; nantoni na oncamathele kuyo, unokwahlulwa kuyo; nantoni na oyithandayo ingasuswa kuwe. Kodwa ukuba awunanto uzakuphulukana nayo, awunanto. ”

Okona kulungileyo, uGqirha Doka wongeza, abazili baya kujonga ngasemva babhiyozele uhambo lwabo lobomi, oluye lwavela njengoko lwenzayo kuba baphendule ngendlela esempilweni kwelahleko (i) zabo abazifumanayo.