Ikhonkco phakathi koomama beNarcissistic kunye neCPTSD
Umxholo
Xa sicinga ngengxaki yoxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo (PTSD) sihlala sibhekisa kwimeko ephendula kwisiganeko esinye kwaye ibonakaliswa ziimpawu ezinje ngee-flashbacks kuxinzelelo lwantlandlolo. Sisoloko sisiva malunga ne-PTSD kwimeko yamagqala emfazwe athe ahlangabezana nengozi enxulumene nokulwa; Singayidibanisa nabantu ababone izinto ezoyikisayo, ezinje ngengozi, okanye abo bahlaselwa ngokwesondo.
Ngo-1988, uJudith Herman, ongunjingalwazi kwiClinical Psychology kwiYunivesithi yaseHarvard, wacebisa ukuba kufunyaniswe isifo esitsha — esiyi-PTSD (okanye i-CPTSD) esichazayo. 1 Ezinye zeempawu phakathi kwe-PTSD kunye ne-CPTSD ziyafana-kubandakanya ukubuyela umva (ukuziva ngathi ukwenzakala kuyenzeka ngoku), iingcinga ezingena ngaphakathi kunye nemifanekiso, kunye neemvakalelo zomzimba kubandakanya ukubila, isicaphucaphu kunye nokungcangcazela.
Abantu abane-CPTSD bahlala benamava:
- Ubunzima bommiselo weemvakalelo
- Ukuziva ulilize nokungabi nathemba
- Iimvakalelo zobutshaba kunye nokungathembani
- Iimvakalelo zomahluko kunye nesiphene
- Iimpawu zokuzahlula
- Iimvakalelo zokuzibulala
Iimbangela ze-CPTSD zixhomekeke kwingxaki yexesha elide kwaye, nangona inokubangelwa nakuphi na ukwenzakala okuqhubekayo-njengokuxhatshazwa ekhaya okanye ukuhlala kwindawo yemfazwe-kuhlala kunxulunyaniswa nokwenzakala okwenzekileyo ebuntwaneni. Iintsizi ezibonakalayo zobuntwana kukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwesondo kunye nokungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo.
Kodwa ukuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo, ngelixa kunzima kakhulu ukukuchonga, kunokubangela ne-CPTSD. Kwaye ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemphefumlweni kusentliziyweni yamava abo bantwana abakhula nomama ongathandekiyo. Kwimeko yobudlelwane phakathi komama nomntwana, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemphefumlweni kuya kufaniswa nezibophelelo zothando, kuthabatha uhlobo lwayo njengoluhlu lweendlela zokuziphatha ezenzelwe ukukulawula, ukukugcina usondele, kwaye ubekhona ukuze ubuyele kuye kufuneka abone ukomeleza ubuthathaka bakhe.
Enye yezona zinto zinzima ukuba ngumntwana womama ongathandabuzekiyo kukuba umdla wakho ophambili kuye kukukwazi kwakho ukumsebenzisa. Luhlobo luni lokusetyenziswa onalo kuye oluxhomekeke ekubeni uluhlobo olunjani lwe-narcissist.
Sihlala sidibanisa i-narcissism kunye nezo ntlobo ze-grandiose zihlala zifuna ukuba ziziko lokuqwalaselwa. Kodwa ii-narcissists zithatha zonke iimilo kunye neefom kwaye i-narcissism yabo ayichazwanga kuphela ngokwemfuno yabo yokuqwalaselwa, kodwa ngokubhekisele kwimfuno yabo yokulawula imeko-bume kunye nokuzikhusela ngokwabo, ngokusebenzisa abanye.
Umama wakho usenokuba wakusebenzisa njengomntu ukumkhusela kumyeni wakhe, njengomntu oyena mhlobo wakhe usenyongweni, njengomntu wokubeka phantsi agxeke ukuze azive engcono ngaye. Nokuba yeyiphi na into ayisebenzisayo awayecinga ngayo kuwe-kwaye abantwana bayinxalenye enkulu "yonikezelo" lwe-narcissist -usenokwenzeka ukuba ufumene uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo kule nkqubo.
Kwilizwe elifanelekileyo, uya kuvunyelwa ukuba ukhule ulusana nje, uzonwabisa ngenkululeko yokuzihlola kunye nokuziveza. Abantwana boomama abathandanayo bahlala bengafumani bunewunewu kwaye, endaweni yoko, bahlala bejonge ngaphaya kwamagxa abo ukubona ukuba bayamcaphukisa na umama wabo ngokuthetha okanye ngokwenza into engeyiyo. Bayazi ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo emhlabeni kukuzama ukukholisa umama wabo kwaye bahlala kwimeko yoxinzelelo rhoqo ukuba bayaphazama. (Kuthatha iminyaka emininzi yokufunda ukwazi ukuba yintoni efunekayo ukuze "ilunge," inzima kakhulu le mithetho yomama ongathandekiyo).
Ngaba ukufumana igama elirhabaxa, ukugxeka, ukungavumi amava akho kubi njengokubethwa ngempatho embi? Impendulo nguewe ocacileyo. Ubuhlungu bokuthetha obunokuqondiswa ngumama kubantwana bakhe kuhlala kugqithisile kwaye yonke into iyoyikisa emntwaneni ngokubethwa ngempama. Kwaye kunye noloyiko kukudideka okungapheliyo. AmaNarcissist abuthathaka ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye enza i-web entsonkothileyo ngeenxa zonke kubo ukulawula into abayenzayo kwaye bangadibani nayo. Njengomntwana, iimvakalelo zakho zinokuthathwa njengezamkelekanga ngokwemvelo ukuba ngaba zinokubangela isoyikiso kunyoko.
Masithi uyamthanda umakhulu wakho kodwa yazi ukuba umama wakho uyammonela. Endaweni yokuba ukhululeke ukubonisa uthando lwakho, unokuzibona uthetha izinto ezimbi ngomakhulu wakho ukonwabisa umamakho.
Okanye masicinge ukuba ungumntwana ophuma ngokwemvelo kodwa uyazi ukuba umama wakho uba nomona ngokukhawuleza ukuba ususa ukukhanya kuye. Ukuchaza usizi okanye uloyiko kunokuhlangatyezwana nokugculelwa nokuhlekiswa. Umama utshatile notata ngokuyinxenye kuba wayevela kwimvelaphi etyebileyo kunaye kwaye kuye, ukuba noqoqosho kakuhle yayisisimbonakaliso sokuqala sokuba sinobomi obulula. Nakuphi na ukubonakaliswa kweemvakalelo zokuba izinto zazingagqibelelanga ebomini bam-ndedwa kunye nesoyikiso esinzima sokucinga ngokuzibulala esixhonywe phezu kwam rhoqo-kwahlangatyezwana nokuzikhusela okubukhali okwakoyikisa kwaye kuhlazisa ukuba kwisiphelo sokufumana.
Ukufundwa okubalulekileyo kweNarcissism
Ukuhlengahlengiswa kolawulo: Izinto esizenzayo kuNarcissist
Amanqaku Anomdla
Inye yeNdlela yoMlilo yokuKhupha ii-Endorphins kuBongo bakho
