Iziphumo ezizizo zokuba ngumzali weNarcissistic ebantwaneni

Kutheni kubalulekile ukuba umzali eyinarcissist? Ibuhlungu njani lonto emntwaneni? Usenokuba ubuza le mibuzo ukuba ngaba ungumntu osebenza kunye njengomzali ongathandani naye; umntu okhuliswe ngumzali ongakhathaliyo; lowo usebudlelwaneni narcissist; okanye mhlawumbi ingcali yoqhawulo mtshato esebenza kwityala elibandakanya umzali ongalunganga. Ngokunikezela ngophando lwam kunye namava ezonyango, ndifuna ukubonelela ngemfundo kunye nokwazisa malunga nokuba esi sifo sibenzakalisa njani abantwana.

Okokuqala, makhe ndichaze ukuba i-narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) ayiqondwa kakuhle xa isetyenziswa kumntu oqhayisayo, oziqhenyayo kunye nabo bonke. Ngelixa ezi mpawu ziyacaphukisa kwaye kungonwabisi ukuba phakathi kwazo, i-narcissism sisifo esinzulu, esonakalisa ngakumbi esinemiphumela emibi ebantwini kubudlelwane nomntu. Sisifo esinzima ukunyanga; abanye bakholelwa ukuba ayinyangeki. Amatye ekona okuphazamiseka kukungabikho kovelwano kunye nokungakwazi ukuya kwihlabathi leemvakalelo labanye.

Ke ukuba ngumzali we-narcissistic kubachaphazela njani abantwana?

• Umntwana akazukuziva okanye eve.
• Iimvakalelo zomntwana kunye nenyani ayizukuvunywa.
• Umntwana uya kuphathwa njengesixhobo kumzali, endaweni yomntu.
• Umntwana uya kuxabiseka ngakumbi ngokwenzayo (ngesiqhelo kumzali) kunakubantu bangumntu.
• Umntwana akazukufunda ukuchonga okanye ukuthembela kwiimvakalelo zabo kwaye uya kukhula ngokuzithemba nokuzithemba.
• Umntwana uya kufundiswa ukuba inkangeleko yabo ibaluleke ngakumbi kunendlela abavakalelwa ngayo.
• Umntwana uya koyika ukuba yinyani, kwaye endaweni yoko uya kufundiswa ukuba umfanekiso ubaluleke ngaphezu kobunyani.
• Umntwana uya kufundiswa ukugcina iimfihlo ukukhusela umzali kunye nosapho.
• Umntwana akazukukhuthazwa ukuba avelise ukuqonda kwakhe.
• Umntwana uya kuziva engenanto ngokwasemoyeni kwaye angondli.
• Umntwana uya kufunda ukungabathembi abanye.
• Umntwana uya kuziva esetyenziswa kwaye eqhathwa.
• Umntwana uya kubakho ngomzali, kunokuba enze enye indlela ejikelezayo, njengoko kufanelekile.
• Ukukhula ngokweemvakalelo komntwana kuya kuma.
• Umntwana uya kuziva egxekwa kwaye egwetywe, kunokuba amkelwe kwaye athandwe.
• Umntwana uya kukhathazeka ngokuzama ukufuna uthando, ukwamkelwa kunye nokuqwalaselwa kungabikho nto.
• Umntwana uya kukhula eziva "engonelanga ngokwaneleyo."
• Umntwana akazukuba nemodeli yokunxibelelana okunempilo ngokweemvakalelo.
• Umntwana akazukufunda imida efanelekileyo kubudlelwane.
• Umntwana akazukufunda ukuzinakekela okunempilo, kodwa endaweni yoko uya kuba semngciphekweni wokuxhomekeka kubambisene (ukukhathalela abanye ukubekela ecaleni ukuzikhathalela).
• Umntwana uya kuba nobunzima ngokuzikhethela okuyimfuneko kumzali njengokuba ekhula.
• Umntwana uya kufundiswa ukuba afune ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle xa kuthelekiswa nokuqinisekiswa kwangaphakathi.
• Umntwana uyakufumana umyalezo oxubeneyo notyhafisayo othi “yenza kakuhle ukundenza ndizingce njengolwandiso lomzali, kodwa ungenzi kakuhle kwaye undigqwese.”
• Umntwana, ukuba ugqwesa umzali, unokufumana umona kumzali.
• Umntwana akafundiswanga ukuba azenzele igama kuye xa kufanelekile.
• Umntwana ekugqibeleni uya kuva ubunzima kwinqanaba elithile loxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, kunye / okanye unxunguphalo ebudaleni.
• Umntwana uzakukhula ekholelwa ukuba akafanelekanga kwaye akathandeki, kuba ukuba umzali wam akanakundithanda, ngubani ozakundithanda?
• Umntwana uhlala ehlazisiwe kwaye ehlaziswa ngumzali ongathandekiyo kwaye uya kukhula nokuzithemba okungalunganga.
• Umntwana uhlala esiba yimpumelelo ephezulu okanye azibulale ngokwakho, okanye zombini.
• Umntwana uya kufuna ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwaye kuya kufuneka aphinde aziphathe njengomzali ebudaleni.

Ukukhuliswa ngumzali ongakhathaliyo kuyamphatha gadalala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo kwaye kubangela ukuba abantwana babe neempembelelo ezingapheliyo. Ihlala iphoswa ziingcali, kuba ii-narcissists zinokuba nomtsalane kwinkcazo-ntetho yazo, zibonisa umfanekiso wendlela abanqwenela ukubonwa ngayo. Emva kweengcango ezivaliweyo, abantwana baziva bexinekile kwaye balwa nesizungu kunye neentlungu. I-narcissist ayiphenduli ngeempazamo zabo okanye indlela abaziphethe ngayo, ke umntwana ukholelwa ukuba babekek 'ityala kwaye babubuntwana. Ndisebenze njengomboneleli wezempilo yengqondo kunye namawaka abantwana, kunye nabantwana abadala babazali abathandabuzayo, ndibona ezi mpawu zingasentla kaninzi. Iindlela zokuphila ziyahluka, kwaye amabali awafani, kodwa onke ashukumisa amabhanti afanayo. Luluhlu kakhulu. Kuthatha umsebenzi wokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo ukuze ube ngcono kwaye uzive ungcono.

Ukuba ungomnye umzali, okanye uyinxalenye yosapho olongezelelekileyo, kwaye uzama ukukhusela iziphumo zomzali ongathandekiyo, uya kuba nomsebenzi ophindwe kabini njengoyena uxanduva. Eyona ndlela ilungileyo kukuba ngumzali enovelwano- into echasene narcissism. Ukuba uyingcali yoqhawulo-mtshato osebenza kwityala elibandakanya i-narcissist, nceda abantwana ngokuqala ngokuqonda okunene kwesi sifo. Sukuyinciphisa. Qinisekisa ukuba abantwana bakunyango kwaye bafunda izakhono zokuqinisekisa ukuzisebenzisa kunye nomzali ongazinxibelelanisiyo ngokweemvakalelo. Beka abantwana kuqala.

Qaphela: I-Narcissism sisiphazamiso esibonakalayo, ke yicinge njengokuqhubeka okususela kumgangatho okwinqanaba eliphantsi esinalo sonke ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuphazamiseka ngokupheleleyo kobuntu. Ephakamileyo inqanaba leempawu, kokukhona kwenzeka umonakalo omkhulu ebantwaneni.