Ubuntwana obuyityhefu? Ukuzivocavoca ngokomoya ukuNyanga uMphefumlo

Kule minyaka ingamashumi amabini idlulileyo, ndiye ndanikela ingqalelo kubudlelwane bukamama nentombi kuyo yonke into eyenziwayo kodwa kugxilwe kakhulu kumonakalo owenziwe kwintombi xa umama engenaluthando, ukude ngokweemvakalelo, ukuzibandakanya, ukulawula. unobumba omkhulu, okanye ukugxotha. Ngokujonga nje, lo msebenzi ujongeka wahluke kakhulu kwiincwadi zokomoya endizibhalileyo ngaphambili kodwa eneneni ayifani ngendlela ocinga ngayo.

Uninzi lwezi ntombi luphuma ebuntwaneni lunamanxeba kwiindawo; banengxaki yokulawula kunye nokuchonga iimvakalelo zabo kwaye, ngelixa beswele ngokwasemphefumlweni, banokukhetha ukukhetha amaqabane kunye nabahlobo ababaphatha njengabo oomama babo okanye, kungenjalo, bazixhoma kudonga olusondeleyo. (Ezi meko zibonisa izimbo ezahlukeneyo zokuncamathisela, ukuxhalaba, ukuxhalaba-ukunqanda, kunye nokuthintela ukugxotha.) Banobunzima bokuqonda uhlobo lwemida evumela ubudlelwane ukuba bukhule kwaye buhlume; abanalo ingqiqo yokwenene yesiqu sabo. Ezi ziingxaki zengqondo ezifuna ukwamkelwa kweepatheni zokungazi kunye nokuziphatha kunye nemizamo emanyeneyo yokudiliza iindlela ezindala zokuphendula nokuziphatha. Okokugqibela, ukuchacha kufezekiswa ngokufunda isimilo esitsha. Luhambo olude njengoko ndicacisa kwincwadi yam, Intombi iDetox.

Ngelixa umsebenzi ubukhulu becala ungowengqondo, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba igama elithi "psychology" lithathwe kumagama esiGrike ngengqondo (umphefumlo okanye umoya) kunye iilogo (igama okanye isizathu). Andinguye ugqirha okanye ugqirha wezengqondo kodwa ndizifumene ezi ngcinga zokomoya ziluncedo njengabanye. Omnye umsebenzi womphefumlo unokuxhasa kwaye uncede inkqubo yokuphilisa, kwaye ezi zilandelayo ziingcebiso zokuzilolonga onokufuna ukuzibandakanya ekubuyiseni kwakho.

Ukuziqhelanisa nokomoya oku-5 ukutyibilikisa indlela

• Nika uqinisekiso lwakho kwaye ubuze imibuzo endaweni yoko

Ndiyazi ukuba iziqinisekiso ezithandwayo nezithuthuzelayo zinokuba njani kodwa uphando lubonisa ukuba abayikhuphi ingqondo ngendlela owenza ngayo umbuzo. Unokuma phambi kwesipili, uphinda "Ndizokuzithanda kwaye ndizamkele namhlanje," kwaye akukho nto inokwenzeka. Kodwa ukuba uyazibuza umbuzo- “Ngaba ndingathanda kwaye ndizamkele namhlanje? -Ingqondo yakho iya kuqala ukukhangela iimpendulo ezinokubakho kule nto uyifunayo unako yenza ukuthanda nokuzamkela. Ngaba ukuzamkela kuthetha ukuvalela ukuseta kwakho okungagqibekanga kweeyure ezintandathu okanye mhlawumbi usuku? Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuzithengela iintyatyambo njengonyango? Ngaba oko kuthetha uku-odola ukuze uphumle endaweni yokupheka? Mhlawumbi kuthetha ukuba uzinike imvume yokungaziva unetyala ngayo yonke into ongakhange uyenze.

Icandelo lokuphilisa kukuqonda ukuba ungaziva njani usamkelo kunye nothando ukuze uzame ngaphezulu kwesinye.

• Yenza isitya sentsikelelo

Kulula kakhulu ukuziva urhuqiwe ngawo wonke umsebenzi ongaphakathi kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, uhambo luziva lungapheliyo. (Uh-huh. Yindala, "Ngaba sisekho?" Ngaphandle kokuba awukho kwimoto yabazali bakho.) Nangona kuyinyani ukuba ukudlala iPollyanna kwaye ucinga nje ngeengcinga ezintle 24/7 akuyi kukunyanzela ukuba usebenze kwaye usebenze ekuphilisweni kwakho, kunemveliso nangona kunjalo ukukhumbula zonke izinto ezilungileyo ozisa etafileni kunye nabo bonke abantu kunye namathuba obomi bakho abunika wona. Iintsikelelo ziza ngobukhulu bonke, ukusuka kulutsha ukuya kutshintsho lomdlalo, emva kwayo yonke loo nto.

Yonke imihla, bhala into oza kuyibeka njengentsikelelo kwiphepha elincinci, ulisonge, ulibeke kwisitya. (Eyam yeyiglasi, kwaye ndisebenzisa iphepha elinombala ukuze ikhangeleke intle.) Intsikelelo ingaba yiyo nantoni na ngenxa yokungabikho kwento ecaphukisayo (uloliwe wafika ngexesha, kwakungekho zithuthi), utshintsho oluqinisekileyo okanye umzuzu (ukuncoma onakho Ukusuka kumphathi wakho, inqaku elimnandi elikubhalele umntwana wakho, ukuhlala kwitreadmill kangangemizuzu eli-10 ngaphezulu) okanye umzuzu ophakamise imimoya yakho okanye wakwenza wonwabe (umhlobo uye wangena ngokungalindelekanga, wenze izicwangciso zokwenza into emnandi, wena kunye iqabane lisebenze ngengxaki). Yenze inyanga kwaye emva koko, ngomhla wokugqibela enyangeni, funda konke okubhalileyo.

Ungaqala isitya sentsikelelo xa ulindele umzuzu oxinzelelekileyo ebomini oya kuthi ufumane uncedo kuwo. (Le yinto ndicebisa ukuba ndiyenze ngaphambi koSuku loMama, umzekelo, okanye indibano yosapho ezayo.)

• Yiba ngumyezo wegadi womoya

Ayisithi sonke isitiya okanye sinesitiya okanye ithala lokutyala kodwa sonke sinakho ngaphakathi kwigadi. Ndiyakholelwa kakhulu ekungqongwe zizinto eziphilayo ezifana nezityalo. Isityalo sisinceda ukuba siqinise uluvo lokuzikhathalela nokuzikhulisa, kwaye sisivumela ukuba sizibone njengabanakho ukwenza izitiya zethu ngaphakathi. Ukuba ungumgadi wegadi, tsiba nje eli candelo kodwa ukuba ungumtsha, hlala nam.

Ungathenga i-pathos okanye i-philodendron kwaye ufunde umonde ngokulinda ukukhula (nangona bephikisa ukufa kwaye benyamezele ukuxhatshazwa) okanye ungayenza ifav yam, ibhatata. Ewe: Wena, ibhatata emhlophe, kunye nesikhongozeli samanzi ninokwenza umlingo kunye. Sebenzisa iitapile eziphilayo, ubambise amazinyo amane kuwo, kwaye umise isiphelo sayo emanzini. Beka kwifestile enelanga, nceda, okanye uyinike ukukhanya okungangako. Ewe iyakukhula iingcambu kwaye ke, voila! Umdiliya uya kuqala!

Into ephambili: Ufunda ukukhathalela kwaye uqinisa ukholo lwakho kutshintsho.

• Jonga okwenyani umntwana owawunguye

Lo ngumsebenzi endiwenzileyo kunye nabafundi kwiphepha lam likaFacebook kwaye iziphumo bezimangalisa kwaye zivuyisa. Enye yezona zinto zinzima kakhulu ekubuyiseleni kukuqhekeza imeko emiselweyo yokuzigxeka, kwaye uvale ikhasethi entlokweni yakho uphendula into ebithethwe ngawe kusapho lwakho lwemvelaphi (ukuba ubuvila okanye usisidenge, ubuthathaka, ungaphantsi, okanye enye into). Fumana ifoto yakho njengomntwana kwaye uyijonge ngendlela umntu wasemzini angenza ngayo. Uyambona lomntu obonwa ngamanye amalungu osapho? Ubona ntoni kwaye ucinga ntoni ngale ntombazana incinci? Thetha nentombazana encinci kwaye uvelane nosizi kunye nesizungu. Uninzi lwabafundi baxela ukuziva benovelwano ekuchitheni ixesha kunye neefoto zabo.

• Yenza isithethe sokuyeka

Ngokuchaseneyo, uninzi lomsebenzi wokuphilisa kubandakanya ukuyeka imithwalo yakudala esasingayazi nokuba siyiphethe. Ezi ngxowa zigcwele ziziphatho ezisithintelayo ekufumaneni le nto siyifunayo, iimvakalelo ezisigcina sinamathele kwaye sikhazimle, kunye nokungakwazi ukuzibona ngokucacileyo. Singaqhubeka kubudlelwane esaziyo ukuba busenza singonwabi, kubandakanya abo noomama bethu okanye ezinye izalamane, kuba ukuba nethemba kunye nokwala kusigcina sibambelele kwimasti yenqanawa ehlala ibaleka. Okwenza ukuyeka kude kube nzima ayisiyonkcubeko nje esixelela ukuba unyamezelo sisitshixo sempumelelo kunye nokufezekisa iinjongo zakho kodwa nokuba abantu bayazigcina kwaye bakhetha ukuhlala endaweni yokuya kwikamva elingaziwayo, nokuba Ndibuhlungu.

Ukufunda ukuyeka yinto enkulu, kwaye kuhlala kubandakanya ilahleko nanjengoko ithembisa inkqubela phambili. Kuyanceda wena ukuba ubandakanyeke kwezinye izithethe ukubhiyozela uloyiso oluncinci kunye nelahleko, njengoko uninzi lwezifundo zibonisa.

Akukho ncwadana yemigaqo kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ungazenzela ezakho izithethe kodwa ndinikezela ngento endiyifumeneyo iyisebenzele mna nabanye.

• Ukubhala

Ungabhala ileta yokuphuma uye emntwini okanye isimilo osishiya ngasemva; oku kukunika ithuba lokuba ubhale phantsi ukuba kutheni usenza esi sigqibo kwaye kuya kunceda ukucacisa zombini iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho. Akukho sidingo sokuyithumela; Ngapha koko, ukuba ngumntu obhalela yena, uyithumela inyanzelisa impendulo kwaye ayisiyiyo yokushiya okanye yokuyeka. Uninzi lweentombi ezingathandwayo zibhalela oomama iileta ezingaposwanga kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bayazitshisa. Inqaku libhala. (Kukho ubungqina obaneleyo bokuba ukubhala kunye nejenali kuyaphilisa; ukuba unomdla, bona umsebenzi kaJames Pennebaker.)

• Amasiko omlilo

Abanye abantu bakufumanisa kusebenza kakhulu ukubhala phantsi oko bakuyekayo ephepheni emva koko batshise iphepha kwisitya esingenamlilo okanye kwindawo yomlilo; omnye umfundi watshisa iifoto, kuye, ezazifuzisela amaxesha ebomini bakhe xa waziphosa kwelokulibala. Amakhandlela okukhanyisa anokuba yindlela yokukhanyisa ngokwenyani indawo yakho kunye nombono wakho ngokwakho.

• Amasiko amanzi

Ukusukela kumaxesha amandulo, amanzi ebesetyenziswa ngokwesiko ukucoca zombini ngokomfuziselo kwaye ngokoqobo kwaye, ewe, unako "ukuhlamba izandla zakho" kwiingcinga neemvakalelo. (Enye isepha ye-lavender iyanceda, ngasendleleni.) Omnye umthambo ubandakanya ukutsiba okanye ukuphosa amatye okanye iingqalutye (okanye ukuzama ukutsiba, kwimeko yam) echibini okanye emzimbeni wamanzi, uyeke nantoni na oyifunayo ngelitye uqobo.

Inqaku elikhulu malunga nesiko kukuba lisivumela ukuba senze isenzo esingumfuziselo kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, loo mfuziselo yile nto kufuneka siyivumele ihambe.

Izimvo ezikule post zithathwa kwiincwadi zam, ikakhulu Intombi eyi-Detox: Ukuchacha kuMama ongenaluthando kunye nokuBuyisa uBomi bakho kwaye Incwadi yokuSebenza yeNtombi eDetox.

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