Ngaba Ubungumntwana Onamandla?

Ubuchopho babantu buyahluka. Uphando lubonakalisile ukuba abanye abantu bazalwa benemithambo-luvo enokubenza babe namandla ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasengqondweni, babe novakalelo, kwaye bavuleleke ngakumbi kunxuselelo lwangaphandle kunabantu ngokubanzi.

Bazi ngakumbi ubuqili; ubuchopho babo buqhuba ulwazi kwaye lubonakalise nzulu kulo. Ngokusemandleni abo, banokubona ngokukodwa, banomdla kwaye bajonge ubuqili bendalo. Okwangoku bakoyiswa ngamaza okuhlala engafaniyo ekuhlaleni kunye namandla abanye ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo.

Ukusuka ekuphumeni, indlela ebonakalayo yabantu yokubona kunye nokuba sehlabathini ayabelwanga ngabo babangqongileyo. Kuba bacinga ngakumbi kwaye baziva ngakumbi, bakwafikelela kwimida yabo ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Bachaphazeleka ngokulula kubangqongileyo kunye nabo babangqongileyo, ezinokuthi zonyuse ifuthe lazo naziphi na izehlo ezinengxaki okanye ukusilela kwiminyaka yabo yokuqala.

Okulusizi kukuba, ngenxa yokunqongophala kokuqonda kunye nokuqonda kusapho nakwihlabathi elibanzi, uninzi lwabantwana abanomdla baye bakhula befaka ngaphakathi kwinkolelo yokuba kukho into engalunganga kubo, okanye ngandlela ithile baneziphene, kakhulu kakhulu, okanye Inetyhefu.

​ "Ndihlukile, hayi ngaphantsi '" - Umninindlu

AMAAPILE AWE KUKHULU KWIMITHI

Imiceli mngeni eyahlukileyo ivela xa umntwana onamandla ngokweemvakalelo ezalwa kusapho apho abazali okanye abantakwabo bengasebenzi ngendlela efanayo.

Kumsebenzi wakhe osisigxina 'Kude Emthini,' u-Andrew Soloman ujongisa iyantlukwano phakathi kwelifa elizuzwe ngokuthe ngqo (nkqo) nokuzimela ngokwahlukeneyo (ngokuthe tye). Ngokwesiqhelo, uninzi lwabantwana lwabelana okungenani ngeempawu ezithile nosapho lwabo: Abantwana bebala bazalwa ngabazali bebala; Abantu abathetha isiGrike bakhulisa abantwana babo ukuba bathethe isiGrike. Ezi mpawu kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni zidluliselwa zisuka kumzali ziye emntwaneni kwizizukulwana ngezizukulwana zeDNA kunye neenkcubeko. Nangona kunjalo, abantwana abasoloko befana nabazali babo; Banokuphatha imfuza yokulahla kunye neempawu ezingaphaya kwamandla omntu. Xa umntu efumana uphawu olungaqhelekanga kumzali, kubhekiswa kuye 'njengesiqwenga esingagungqiyo.' Ukuchongwa ngokuthe tye kunokubandakanya ukuba li-gay, ukukhubazeka emzimbeni, ukuba ne-autism, ukuba nengqondo okanye ube nesiphiwo.

Kunganzima kakhulu kubo nabaphi na abazali ababoniswe abantwana ngeendlela zokuphila kunye neemfuno ezingaziwayo kubo. Umntwana osisitabane ozalelwa kubazali abathe tye, umzekelo, phakamisa amawaka amaninzi emiceli mngeni xa kufikwa ekuqondeni nasekwamkelweni. Izazisi ezime nkqo zihlala zihlonishwa njengezazisi; ezithe tye ziphathwa njengeziphene. Naziphi na iindlela ezingaqhelekanga zokuba, kubandakanya ukonyuka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ubuthathaka, zihlala zichaphazeleka 'njengokugula' ukuba kulungiswe, kunokuba kungamkelwa izazisi.

Inkcubeko yethu idlala indima ekuqhubekekeni koku kunqunyulwa. Kukho into yakudala kwindalo yethu eyenza ukuba umntu akwala into esingayaziyo. Nangona ilizwe lethu liphela lenze inkqubela phambili enkulu ekuvaleni iyantlukwano phakathi kweklasi, isini, kunye nohlanga, ulwazi kunye nentlonipho "ye-neuro-divergent" yeempawu ezinje ngokuqina kweemvakalelo ezingakhange zingene ekuzileni koluntu. Njengoluntu siyaqhubeka nokukhathaza abantu abaneendlela ezahlukeneyo zokucinga, imvakalelo, ezinxulumene nokuba sehlabathini. Ngaphantsi kwempembelelo yenkcubeko engakwaziyo ukwamkela iyantlukwano, abanye abazali baye babona ukuba ngubani othe ngxi womntwana njengengxaki nje kodwa nokusilela okanye ukuthukwa.

Kuthatha ukomelela okongezelelekileyo kwiintsapho ukuze zifunde ukunyamezelana, ukwamkela, kwaye ekugqibeleni babhiyozele abantwana abangasiyo into ababenayo ekuqaleni. Inyaniso yokuba akukho "sikhokelo" kubuzali, ngakumbi xa umntwana wabo engenakuphathwa ngeendlela eziqhelekileyo, shiya umsantsa obuhlungu wokuqhawuka phakathi kwabazali nomntwana. UAndrew Solomon, owaqhuba udliwanondlebe olungaphezulu kwama-4000 ngencwadi yakhe, wabhala wathi: Iintsapho zabantwana abanoxinzelelo ngokweemvakalelo zinikezelwa ngemfoloko endleleni; Banokwala okanye bahlawulele umntwana wabo ngenxa yokungaqheleki kwabo, okanye baphakamele kwelo thuba bazivumele ukuba batshintshe kakhulu ngamava abo.

"'Baphi abantu?' Yaqala kwakhona inkosana encinci ekugqibeleni.
‘Inesithukuthezi xa uphakathi kwabantu, nayo,’ yatsho inyoka. ” —Ukuba nguAntoine de Saint-Exupéry, INkosana encinci

IINGXAKI EZIQHELEKILEYO EJONGENE NOMNTWANA OQINISEKILEYO

Ukuba ubukhe wanemvakalelo kwaye unomdla kubo bonke ubomi bakho, uya kuwabona amanye ala mava njengomntwana:

UKUXAKEKA

Ukususela ekuzalweni, abantwana abanomdla banemida enamandla. Beva izandi ezimfiliba, babone amavumba afihlakeleyo kwaye baqwalasele olona tshintsho lufihlakeleyo kwindawo ebangqongileyo. Banokufumana ukutya okuthile kunambitheka kakhulu, okanye abanokuma ukunxiba amalaphu athile.

Banokufumana iimvakalelo zabanye abantu, imisindo kunye nezinye izinto zokusingqongileyo njengokuza ngaphakathi nangaphakathi kubo, okanye ukuba badibana nabo badibana nabo. Ekhaya, baziva zonke iinguqu kunye neenkcazo ezingahambelaniyo neemvakalelo zabazali babo kwaye baqhutywa ngokuqhubekayo zizinto ezingachaphazeli umntakwabo.

Abantwana abanomdla kakhulu banesazela. Bahlala bezama ukufumana ikhondo elifanelekileyo lezenzo kwaye kunokuba nzima kubo. Umzekelo, bathambekele ekuthatheni uxanduva oluninzi kubudlelwane. Xa kuvela iingxabano, bakhawuleza bagqibe kwelokuba benze into embi, kwaye boyiswe kukuzigxeka, nehlazo.

Ukushukunyiswa ngokuqhubekayo kunye nokuhlatywa ngamandla abo kunye neziganeko ezibangqongileyo, aba bantwana abanakuze bafumane indawo yengqondo okanye inkxaso yokuphucula ukomelela ngokweemvakalelo. Nokuba sele bebadala, banokuziva bengazinzanga kwaye bengangqonge; kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha, abaninzi bathwaxwa ziintlungu zomzimba, amandla afihliweyo kunye nokudinwa.

UKUZIVA NGOKUQHELEKILEYO KUPHELA

Umntwana onamandla uthwala ukuqonda okunzulu. Baziva kwiintlungu zehlabathi, kokubini ezingqongileyo nakwilizwe elibanzi. Baziva bengamalolo ukuba ibe ngabo kuphela abaziyo ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni phantsi koluntu oluqhelekileyo kunye nemvisiswano; abaninzi baziva benetyala ngokungakwazi ukudambisa iintlungu nokubandezeleka abakubonayo.

Kwinqanaba elithile, bavuthiwe ngakumbi kunontanga yabo. Ngeminyaka yokomoya nengokwenyama emdala kunaleyo yabo, le 'miphefumlo mdala' iziva ingazange yabanobuntwana. Abantwana abanesiphiwo, ngakumbi xa bangena kwinqanaba lokufikisa, bafumanisa ukuba abantu abadala abaphetheyo abalifanelanga igunya labo.

Nangona zibonakala zizimeleyo, ezantsi le miphefumlo mincinci ithwala ulangazelelo lomntu abanokuthembela kuye ngokupheleleyo, banxibelelane naye, ukuze ekugqibeleni baphumle kwaye banakekelwe. Njengokuba kuchaziwe ngomnye umntwana, baziva ngathi "njengabaphambukeli abalahliweyo abalinde inqanawa yomama ukuba ize ibathathe igoduke" (Webb, 2008).

Ubuchule obunamandla bomntwana kunye ne-intuition zikwanika nobomi obungaphakathi obucebileyo nobunzulu obungabelwanga ngabo babangqongileyo. Balwa neenkxalabo ezikhoyo ezinjengobomi nokufa kunye nentsingiselo yobomi kwaye bazifumane bekwilizwe elingenangqondo nelingenantsingiselo abangenakwenza nto kwaphela ukutshintsha. Nangona kunjalo, xa bezama ukwabelana nabanye ngeengcinga zabo, bahlala bedibana nokudideka okanye intiyo. Ngaphandle komntu onokunxibelelana nabo kubunzulu bobuntu babo, okanye aqonde ukuzaliseka kwabo bangabo, bathwala imvakalelo engagungqiyo yokuba lilolo ukuya ebudaleni.

"Ngamanye amaxesha kwakubonakala kuye ukuba ubomi bakhe bubuthathaka njenge-dandelion. Ukukhupha okuncinci kulo naliphi na icala, kwavuthelwa ke." -Katherine Paterson, Ibhulorho eya eTerabithia

UKULAHLEKA NGOKUZITHEMBELA NAZO KWABANYE

Abantwana abanomdla baphaphele uhanahaniso, ukubandezeleka, ungquzulwano, kunye nobunzima bendawo ebangqongileyo, kwanangaphambi kokuba bakwazi ukuyicacisa okanye ukuyiphatha.

Umntwana onesiphiwo sokuqonda uyadideka kukuphikisana phakathi kwentshukumisa yemvakalelo abayifumana kubantu abadala nakwimbonakalo yabo yomphezulu: Babona ngeemaski ezifanelekileyo, uncumo olunyanzelisiweyo, okanye ubuxoki obumhlophe. Oku kungangqinelani kubangela ukuba umntwana angathembi. Ukubona ukungabikho kobulungisa kuluntu kunye nohanahaniso kwangoko kwangoko kukhokelela ekubeni bazive bephelelwe lithemba kunye nokugxeka.

Ukuba xa bezama ukwabelana nabanye ngento abayibonayo, bavaliwe, bangaqala ukuthandabuza okwabo ukubona, intuition, kunye nokuba sempilweni. Banokuziva benetyala ngenxa yokuba benolu bungqina. Xa bengafumani mntu ubuqondayo ubunyani babo, banokuthatha isigqibo sokungazi nokuba banciphise intu kunye neemvakalelo zabo, kwaye babe ngabakwishumi elivisayo okanye abantu abadala abangazi ukuba mabakholelwe ntoni, bangagqiba njani, okanye bathembele kubani.

UKUFUMANA INKXASO-MALI

Xa kudityaniswe nokunyaniseka okupheleleyo, ukuqonda kunokuzisa imiceli mngeni phakathi kwabantu. Umntwana onamandla uziva enyanzelekile ukuba akhombe abakwaziyo kwaye akafuni kudlala umdlalo woluntu olungaphambili. Ngelishwa, ukuthetha kwabo inyani kuhlala kungathandeki kwihlabathi.

Njengabathunywa benyaniso engathandekiyo, babekwa ityala lokudala ukungavisisani. Okona kubalulekileyo, zingumthombo wokudideka kodwa okubi, zingumthombo wokugculelwa. Ekhaya baba ziingubo. Esikolweni, baba ngamaxhoba abaxhaphazi okanye bathotyelwe kwabakhutshiweyo kumda weqela lezikolo.

Ukukhetha phakathi kokunyaniseka nokwamkelwa kwabanye abantu ngumceli mngeni omkhulu kuye nawuphi na umntu osemtsha. Umntwana onamandla kakhulu anokukhula eziva enexhala ngokungafaniyo nabanye, de agqithise, abanye bakholelwa ukuba ngandlela thile 'banetyhefu' okanye bayingozi, kwaye bahlala ngoloyiko lokugxothwa kusapho lwabo okanye kwisangqa sentlalo.

"Ababumbi bancuma kwaye bamwangawangisa uHarry kwaye wajonga ngamehlo alambileyo, izandla zakhe zacinezela kwiglasi ngokungathi wayenethemba lokuwela kanye kuyo kwaye afikelele kubo. Wayenohlobo olunamandla lokuqaqamba ngaphakathi kuye, isiqingatha sovuyo , usizi olubi ngesiqingatha. " - UJK Rowling, UHarry Potter kunye neLitye loMlumbi

UKUVAKALELA "BAKHULU KAKHULU"

Abantwana abanomdla baneemfuno ezinzulu. Ukusukela bebancinci, baphila ngoxinzelelo lobuchule babo kwaye banolangazelelo lwencoko evuselelayo ngokwasengqondweni, ukucamngca okunzulu kunye neempendulo zentsingiselo yobomi. Ubomi babo bangaphakathi buhlatyiwe ziinkxalabo zokuziphatha, ukholo olomeleleyo, umbono ogqibeleleyo, ukuthanda ukugqibelela kunye nomnqweno onamandla. Nangona kunjalo, ngaphandle kokuqonda okwaneleyo kubantu abadala ababangqongileyo, banokuqondwa phosakeleyo njengabanzima ngabom. Ngenxa yoko, iimfuno zabo zendalo zenani elaneleyo lokuvuselela kunye nenkxaso zinokugxothwa okanye zincitshiswe.

Nokuba ngabona bazali banenkxaso abaqinisekisa ubuntununtunu kunye nesantya, uninzi lwabantwana abanomdla banolwazi lokuba ngandlela thile 'baninzi' kwabo babangqongileyo. Banokugxekwa ngokucacileyo, okanye banqatshelwe ngokungagungqiyo ngenxa yokufuna kakhulu, ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza, ukungakhathali, ukubaxeka, ukurhawuzelela ngokulula, okanye ukungakhathali. Beqonda ukuba isiqu sabo sendalo sinokubakhathaza abanye, banokugqiba ekubeni bavale ngokuthe ngcembe, bazakhele 'ubuxoki,' kwaye bathintele ukonwaba kwabo kunye nehlombe.

"Kwaye uMax, inkosi yazo zonke izinto zasendle, wayenesithukuthezi kwaye wayefuna ukuba apho umntu amthanda kakhulu." —UMaurice Sendak, Ziphi Izinto Zasendle

UKUKHUMBULA UMNTWANA OQINISEKILEYO KUWE

Ikhaya lakho linokuba okanye lingazange libe yindawo yokuhlala umphefumlo wakho ontununtunu, onamandla kwaye unesiphiwo. (Kwileta elandelayo, siza kuqwalasela ezinye zeentshukumo zetyhefu yosapho abantwana abanomdla nabanovelwano abahlala bevalelwa kuyo). Ukwahluka kunokuba nesithukuthezi, kodwa eyona ntlungu ibangelwa kukuzifaka ngaphakathi kuwe imvakalelo yokuba, njengomntu, ngokusisiseko 'ayilunganga.'

Ukuba bonke ubomi bakho ubuzive ngathi ungoMartian uthinjelwe emhlabeni, kungathatha ixesha elithile ukuba ungazi kodwa uzive entliziyweni yakho ukuba ukuba namandla akusisi sifo. Ukuba namandla kuza nezona zinto zixabisekileyo kunye neempawu. Unesakhono esingaqhelekanga sokuqonda kunye nokuvelana nabanye, kunye nokukwazi ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho, iinjongo kunye neminqweno yakho. Kuyo yonke imbali, ubunzulu buhlala budityaniswa nezinye iindlela zeetalente ezizodwa kwimimandla yomculo, ubugcisa obubonwayo, ezemidlalo kunye nobuchule. Ukonwaba kwakho akuhambelani kuphela nesipho; Zizipho ngokwazo. Kuxhomekeke kuwe ngoku, ukunika ikhaya elikhuselekileyo kumntwana wakho ongaphakathi. Ngeli xesha, phantsi kwamaphiko akho, banokuba nobuntwana obondlayo, obukhuselekileyo nobonwabisayo.

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Umphefumlo wakho onamandla usendle kwaye awunamdlandla.

Nokuba ungazama kangakanani na ukuyivala, uyiqhathe, wenze ngathi ayikho,

Uhlobo lwayo oluzenzekelayo luhlala luqhekeka.

Ngamanye amaxesha, inyani yakho ityibilika kuwe

ngokohlobo loloyiko, uthando, ukumangala nolonwabo.

Kuyanyanzeleka ukuba ungabi nandlela yimbi ngaphandle kokunikezela kukuchithwa okuchwayitisayo.

Ngalo mzuzu uxabisekileyo, uziva ubunzulu bendalo yakho, ungaphazanyiswa.

Ungumnini womphefumlo wakho wasendle, othandekayo, nothandekayo.

Lo mntwana unamandla ngaphakathi kuwe ulinde, ekugqibeleni,

iviwe, ibonwe, kwaye yamkelwe ukuba ingobani.

“Ungummangaliso. Wahlukile. Kuyo yonke le minyaka idlulileyo, akuzange kubekho omnye umntwana ofana nawe. Imilenze yakho, iingalo zakho, iminwe yakho ekrelekrele, indlela ohamba ngayo. Unokuba nguShakespeare, uMichelangelo, uBeethoven. Unamandla ayo nantoni na. ” -UHenry David Thoreau