Kuthetha Ukuthini Kobuhle Kuthi ngathi?

Denim. Kwakukade isemaphandleni eMelika okanye yayinxitywe ngabasebenzi basefektri abafuna iimpahla zomsebenzi ezomeleleyo. Kude kube yinto eyenye.

Indawo yokuhlala. Yakha yakhangelelwa njengomtsalane kwimilenze yabasetyhini, yaphinda yongezwa ngamalaphu akumgangatho ophezulu, anjengesilika, uboya kunye nesatin. De yanyamalala kwaphela. Abasetyhini ababedla ngokuphatha ipolishi yezikhonkwane ezingxoweni zabo (ukuyeka ukubaleka kwabo esitokisini) babhiyozela. Kwaye abo baqalekisa ipantyhose ngokungathandabuzekiyo baphuma bayokunxila.

Iidyasi zonxiba. Zazinde kwaye zingaqondakali kumadoda nabasetyhini. Kuphela kuxa zisuswe apho unokubona iisuti zodidi, iilokhwe, kunye namalaphu ahamba ngaphantsi. Ngoku unethamsanqa ukuba unokuzifumana kuphela kwiivenkile eziphezulu, kwaye nalapho, kwi-intanethi kuphela.

Izihlangu zokunxiba kunye neempompo . Amadoda ayekhe akroba ukufumana izihlangu zawo zikhanya ngolwesiHlanu ebusuku, ethambisa olunye lotyalo-mali lwabo olukhulu (ibikade inokwenzeka into yokuba uxelele okuninzi malunga nendoda ngezihlangu zakhe) kwaye abafazi banxibe iimpompo-ezitsolo okanye ezinyaweni-ezinde ukubonakala hayi imilenze yabo kuphela, kodwa bancoma nayiphi na enye into ababeyinxibile. Iminqwazi. Iziqhano. Namhlanje? Ngamaxesha athile siyababona emitshatweni, kodwa ikakhulu kwitheko lomtshato ngokwalo ngaphambi kokuba batshintshe babe zii-flip-flops phakathi kwindawo yolwamkelo.

Ungabuza-yintoni endenze ndahamba ndirongo? Kulungile. Ndiyakuvuma. Umboniso bhanyabhanya. Nangona ndandikhe ndeva ngayo bonke ubomi bam, ndabona ibali leFiladelfia kuTurner Broadcasting. Ukutsiba phambi kwam kwiscreen bezinxibe iimpahla ezifanelekileyo, izixhobo ezintle, kunye nezitokhwe ezenziwe ngokufanelekileyo - izinto onokuzilindela ngo-1940 eHollywood kodwa ukuzibona ngoku kundikhumbuze ixesha elinomtsalane. Nkqu nengxoxo "ibinxityiwe," kunye nabadlali besebenzisa ubuchule bokubhala namagama abenza ukuba bavakele ngokungathi bayiphumelele ibanga le-9. Ndikhumbula umama enxibe ngoluhlobo, kunye neeankile zeendaba kuwo omathathu amanethiwekhi eendaba ezivakalayo zinjalo. Endaweni yokuba indonwabise into yokuba abantu bajonge, banxibe, kwaye bavakale ngolo hlobo, yonke le nto yandenza buhlungu, ngokungathi ndikhedama okuthile.

Ndiqinisekile nokuba ucinga ukuba ndinengqondo engacacanga, ndiyakwazi ukuhlawulelwa. Inyaniso mayixelwe, kukho iinxalenye zam ezibhiyozele inqanaba lokunxiba kule minyaka idlulileyo. Kwabo bacinga ukuba andikhuselekanga ngenxa yokuba ndithetha ngayo, nangona kunjalo? Akukho maxhala. Andizukuyithatha buqu. Akukho mntu unokuluvala uchulumanco lwam ekuthengeni ngefestile kwaBarney waseNew York, ndibona into entle endinokuyifumana eMarshall's, okanye ndikhangele kwi-eBay ingubo yokwaleka kweediliya ndizama ukuphosa "ukujonga".

Mhlawumbi ndiyalila ngokulahleka kwe-semi-formality. Naxa wonwabile ekhayeni likabani — ngaphandle kwamaqela obuhlanga ekusenokwenzeka ukuba agcina amasiko ambalwa — ukuya endlwini yomntu othile kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kungathetha iipokotho ezineepleyiti zamaphepha, izitya zewayini zeplastikhi kunye neefleyiti ezaphuke ngokupheleleyo ezipeyintwe ngesilivere zokubenza babonakale bebalasela. I-China yangempela, isilivere kunye nekristale zigcinwe kude, zalityalwa, okanye zathengiswa kwi-eBay, kunye nezizukulwana ezitsha ezingabonisi mdla ekuzuzeni ilifa. Ukunxiba isidlo sangokuhlwa ngaphandle kubonakala ngathi kuthetha (mhlawumbi) ukuphosa ijezi eneqhuma phezu kweebhulukhwe zeebhulukhwe ezikhulileyo emadolweni. Kwaye ukuthatha uhambo ngenqwelomoya kwenye indawo kuthetha ukujonga emilenzeni enoboya yendoda enxibe ezimfutshane ehleli ecaleni kwam. Ndiyazi. Ndivakala ngathi ndifiphele.

Ngaba le yeyona nto "ilinganayo" amaMelika ngokuzikhusela ngokungqongqo? Andizange ndicinge ngayo nayiphi na into "njengeklasi" nantoni na. Umntu onxibe ezona zinto zingcono unokuphosa kunye isinxibo esijolise kuso, kwaye ngekhe ndiwazi umahluko. Ezi ntsuku bendinokuthi nje bakhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukuba banganxibi ukubila kwabo.

UDierdre Clemente, ngo-2015 Imagazini yexesha inqaku elinesihloko Kutheni kwaye amaMelika aqala nini ukunxiba ngokungaqhelekanga? ichaza ngale ndlela: “Abantu baseMerika banxiba ngokungakhathali. Ngoba? Kuba iimpahla yinkululeko-inkululeko yokuzikhethela indlela esiza kuzibonakalisa ngayo ehlabathini; inkululeko yokufiphaza imida phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, abadala nabancinci, abazizityebi nabangamahlwempu. Ukunyuka kwesitayile esingaqhelekanga kuyijongele phantsi imithetho yeminyaka eliwaka ubudala eyalela ubunewunewu obubonakalayo bezityebi kunye nempahla yokusebenza kwabasweleyo. Kude kube ngaphezulu kwenkulungwane eyadlulayo, zazimbalwa iindlela zokufihla udidi lwentlalo yakho. Uyinxibile — ngokoqobo — emkhonweni wakho. Namhlanje, ii-CEO zinxiba iimbadada ukuze zisebenze kwaye abantwana abamhlophe basezidolophini basebenzisa i-LA Raiders hat encinci kude kakhulu. Ukuncoma ubungxowankulu behlabathi, imarike yempahla igcwele iindlela zokuxuba nokwenza umdlalo. " Uyaqhubeka nokubhala ixesha elichanekileyo lokuba sivele njani kwisinxibo, ukunxiba iiglavu ngokuthambisa abantu ababhinqileyo kwaye sigqibe isiqwenga sakhe sokuba kutheni, ngokobuqu, ethanda ukunxiba nje. “Ndinikele iminyaka elishumi edlulileyo yobomi bam ndizama ukuqonda ukuba‘ kutheni ’kwaye‘ nini ’siqale ukunxiba ngale ndlela — kwaye ndiye ndafika kwizigqibo ezininzi. Kodwa kuzo zonke iiyure kunye namanqaku, kudala ndisazi isizathu sokuba ndinxibe ngokungaqhelekanga. Ndiziva kamnandi. ”

Ke kufuneka ndizibuze ukuba ingaba ukunxiba kuxhomekeke kwindlela esivakalelwa ngayo okanye ngathi ndifuna ukuva. Kutheni ndikuthanda ukubukela UMtyholi unxibe iPrada ngapha nangaphaya kwakhona? Ngaba kungenxa yebali leCinderella elijijekileyo elilandela imvelaphi ka-Ann Hathaway kwinto abahlobo bakhe abayithatha njengendawo yokuhlanjululwa kwefashoni? Okanye ngaba kukubona abo bafazi banxibe ngokuhomba, beziphethe ngokupheleleyo, uMeryl Streep ephosa ibhegi yakhe eyi- $ 1500 kwidesika yomncedisi wakhe okanye uStanley Tucci evuma imbonakalo yakhe entsha yeprotege ngokuthi, "Ndicinga ukuba umsebenzi wethu wenziwe apha?" Yiyo yonke loo nto. Akukho mntu unokundinqanda ekubeni ndincome abantu abanxibe kakuhle. Engqondweni yam kuhlala kukho enye into endinokuyifeza ngokwasemzimbeni ukuze indenze ndizive ngcono malunga nendlela endijongeka ngayo njengoko kukho izinto endinokuzenza ukuphucula ingqondo yam. Zonke zidityanisiwe.

Ke silufumana njani ulungelelwaniso phakathi “Andinxibi ndikholisa omnye umntu, yiya kwisanti” kwaye “Indlela onxiba ngayo ibonisa uhlobo lwendlela ozihlonela ngayo wena kunye nabanye?” USylishlyMe.com kaVanessa Rodriguez usinika iingcebiso ngendlela yokunxiba kodwa ungagqithisi kwinqaku lakhe Indlela yokunxiba iClassic-5 Iingcebiso ezisisiseko zeSitayile ekufuneka uyazi. Uyavuma, “Isitayile seklasi asiphelelwa lixesha. Ingubo yokutshintsha inqanawa kunye neempompo ezinemibala yeenkamela ozithengayo namhlanje ziya kuhlala zinxitywa kwiminyaka elishumi ukusukela ngoku. Ukuthenga amacici amabini eeperile e-pearl angaphezulu kwezibini ezili-10 zamacici esitetimenti esiya kuthi sidlule kunyaka emva kokuba zithengiwe. Yindlela entle enokunxitywa xa kusetyenzwa, ngebrunch ngeCawa, ukuya esixekweni uyokuthenga ezivenkileni, okanye ukhenkethe ihlabathi. ” Uquka indlela yokunxiba izincedisi, indlela ozibhenca ngayo (imidriffs engenanto, izikethi ezimfutshane kakhulu, kunye nokuvula amazinyo) ayiyonxalenye yale nxaki- ingakumbi xa uneminyaka engama-25- nokuba zilunge kangakanani kwaye amalaphu akumgangatho ophezulu abalulekile, nokuba uneempahla ezimbalwa ezikhethekileyo kuphela.

Into kukuba, ukunxiba ngobuhle kufana nokuqhekeza ezona zinto zibalaseleyo xa abantu besiza kwisidlo sangokuhlwa. Ingxelo malunga nendlela oziva ngayo ngawe kwaye kwangaxeshanye, "ukuphatha" abanye kwinto oyithathe ixesha kunye nomzamo wokuyihlanganisa. Ukuba ukutya kubonakala kukhangeleka kwaye kungcamleka ngcono kwezi zitya zeLenox zintle umama wakho akunike zona kudala, ke ukunxiba ukuya kuthenga nomhlobo wakho okanye ukukhwela inqwelomoya akufani.

Ke ndiyakubuza: ingaba ndilahle ithemba elingenathemba? Kungenxa yokuba ndabona abantu benxiba kakuhle ebutsheni bam ukuba ndihlale ndikhathazekile ngenxa yokutshintsha kwezinto? Mhlawumbi kunjalo. Kodwa kwisithuba seRichlyrooted.com Ukufumana kwakhona ubugcisa obulahlekileyo bokunxiba, Ibhlogi egama linguElsie, owazalwa ngo-1988, wabelana ngeemvakalelo zam ezininzi. Le nto intsha intle ayikaze ihlale kwishumi leminyaka apho abantu behlala benxibe nantoni na ngaphandle komtshato. Kwaye uyavuma ukuba xa engena kwiindawo zokutyela kwaye abone abantu besitya kwiitanki zabo, uziva ngathi uluntu luphulukene nento. UElsie uthi: “Ndiyaqonda ukuba mhlawumbi indenza ndivakalelwe njengexhegwazana elingenantlonelo lokulilela ukwehla kwemilinganiselo yokunxiba. “Ukanti indlela esinxiba ngayo iyasichaphazela yonke imihla yobomi bethu, ke ngaba ayisiyongongoma ibalulekileyo le ukuba iqwalaselwe kubomi obuhloliweyo? Zininzi izinto ezintle ezinokwenzeka xa uqala ukunxiba kakuhle. Kodwa njengoko bendicinga ngayo, isiphumo esinye esiphambili sime: imbeko. Siye sihlonelwe ngakumbi ngabanye xa sinxiba kakuhle. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba, sifunda indlela yokuzihlonipha. ”

Ngexesha elizayo xa ubona eli xhegwazana linenwele elifikelelekayo elinxibelelene neebhutsi zalo ezinesithende esineebhulukhwe ezibhityileyo ezifakwe kuzo zinxibe ibhulukhwe ye-turtleneck poncho ngelixa licula i-jazz karaoke kwindawo yokuntywila, yazi ukuba ibingeyongozi ukuba mhlawumbi wayexinezelekile ngelo xesha. Ukuba ndingumfundi okhutheleyo kamama wam omncinci onxibe njalo kunye nomdlalo bhanyabhanya omdala onendawo ethambileyo yabantu abanxibe kakuhle nengxoxo ebambekayo, ndiyazi ukuba ndiza kubona kuphela intsalela yayo nayiphi na le nto kumboniso womboniso kumabonwakude. Oyena mntu ndimmeleyo, nangona kunjalo, ndim. Kwaye ndiyithatha ngokungathí sina.