Yintoni umahluko phakathi komona nomona?

Umxholo

• Umona uFundeka ngokuBalulekileyo
• Ngaba Ukufihla Ukukhanya Kwakho Phantsi Kwebhasi?

Yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umona unokuvela kwimeko yobudlelwane bezothando. Kodwa ngaba umona ukwenzeka kubuhlobo nakubudlelwane bosapho? Okanye ngaba ngumona?

Impendulo emfutshane kukuba umona nomona zinokubakho kuzo zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane nangaphandle kobudlelwane.

Umona uhlobene kakhulu nenzondo. Xa umonela umntu, umcaphukisela into anayo okanye isibonelelo anaso onqwenela ukuba ubunaso. Ukuba, yithi, uyammonela umzalwana wakho ngenxa yobomi obutofotofo — indlela yokuphila obusoloko uyiphupha — uyamcekisa ngenxa yobomi obutofotofo, kwaye ngenxa yokuba ingqumbo ibandakanya uxanduva lokubeka ityala, uthatha umzalwana wakho ulwabiwo olungafanelekanga lweempahla.

Umona uthetha ukuba umona uzibona ubuncinci njengofanelwe isibonelelo okanye ubunini njengoko umona. Umzekelo, ukuba umonela umzalwana wakho ngenxa yobomi obutofotofo, ucinga ukuba kufanelekile ubuncinci njengaye.

Le nto ithelekisayo yomona ngamanye amaxesha kuthiwa isekwe kumbono womona wokufana phakathi kwabo nomntu onomona. Kukho ukuqonda apho kuyinyani oko. Utyekele ngakumbi ekumoneleni umntakwenu ophila ubomi obutofotofo kunokuba umonela umntu ongamaziyo ngokuphila ngendlela efanayo.

Kodwa nokuba sithanda ukubamonela abo siziva sifana nabo, oku akubandakanyi ukuba singaze sibamonele abantu esingabaziyo. Sithanda ukubamonela abantu abadumileyo kunye nabantu abaphumelele ngokugqithileyo, abazizityebi, abahle, okanye abantu abakrelekrele. Unokwazi ngakumbi ukuba uyonwaba xa bewile kunokuba ubamonele. Le mvakalelo yolonwabo ekuphenduleni ilishwa lomnye umntu ikwabizwa ngokuba yi-schadenfreude.

Ewe, njengoko isithandi sobulumko uSara Protasi esitsho, umona ungenzeka nokuba kungekhe kwenzeke ukuba umntu onomona afumane ubuncwane okanye inzuzo. Ukuba, umzekelo, awufumani bantwana, ungammonela umhlobo wakho olungileyo onabantwana bakhe bemvelo, nangona ungekhe ubenakho ukubanakho kokulungileyo.

Izifundo ngamanye amaxesha ziyahlula phakathi komona onobungozi kunye nomona. Umona kaBenign kuthiwa ujolise kumngcipheko obonwayo, ngelixa umona omubi umalunga nokubonakala komona.

Ngokungafaniyo nomona wobubi, umona olungileyo ufanele ukuba uyancomeka ngokuziphatha, kuba ukhuthaza umntu onobunzima ukuba athathe amanyathelo okufikelela apho umona ukhona. Nangona kunjalo, iimvakalelo zokuthelekisa ezinokusishukumisela ukuba sisebenze nzima zibonakala ngathi kukude kakhulu nomona ngohlobo lwazo. Endaweni yoko, isimilo esincomekayo ekuziphatheni abanye abakubiza ngokuba "ngumona ongenabungozi" kubonakala ngathi (ayinangqondo) kukhuphiswano okanye inzondelelo.

Ngumona phantse ongenakuphepheka ongenangqondo ophawula umahluko omkhulu phakathi komona nekhwele.

Kwintetho enye, "umona" udla ngokusetyenziswa ngokufanayo kunye "nomona." Kodwa ziimvakalelo ezahlukileyo. Ngelixa umona usabela kwinto ebonakala ingenabulungisa yomnye umntu okanye into anayo, ikhwele kukusabela kwisoyikiso sokulahleka komntu osele "unaye" ngandlel 'ithile-ngesiqhelo umntu onolwalamano olukhethekileyo naye-kumntu wesithathu.

Ngubani kanye kanye umona wethu ojolise kuye isekhona ingxoxo mpikiswano. Olunye ukhetho kukuba umona ujolise kwabo sibathatha ukuba babe noxanduva ngokuthe ngqo lokwazisa isoyikiso sokulahleka ebomini bakho. Ukuba, yithi, ufumanisa ukuba umntu othandana naye ixesha elide ebethandana ngokufihlakeleyo kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, umona wakho ungabhekiswa kuwo omabini la maqela. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba sikhuphe umona wethu kwiqabane lethu kunakwisithandwa sakhe, nangona oku kunokubonisa nje ithuba elikhulu lokubonisa umona wethu kwiqabane lethu kunakwisithandwa sakhe.

Umona kunqabile ukuba ube yimvakalelo esengqiqweni. Kungenxa yokuba ithagethi yomona ayiqhelekanga ukuba nesiphoso ngokuba nezinto ezifunwa ngumnxibelelanisi. Umona luhlobo oluthile lwenzondo. Kodwa kunokuba sengqiqweni ngezihlandlo ezinqabileyo apho umona unoxanduva lokuba nelifa okanye inzuzo onqwenela ukuba unayo. Ukuba umonela umntu osebenza naye ngenxa yokufumana ukunyuselwa obukuthemba, kwaye kuyenzeka ukuba uyazi ukuba unyuselwe ngenxa yokuba ebelele nomphathi, umona wakho unengqondo, ukuba awunantiyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ubuncinci inxenye ngenxa yamathuba akhe okufumana isindululo kwaye awukhange usifumane.

Umona ubonakala uhambelana nomona obandakanya ingqumbo kunye nokunikezelwa koxanduva. Nangona kunjalo, inzondo kunye nokunikezelwa koxanduva kunemikhwa emibi kakhulu yokuba nengqiqo xa ukhona ngomona kunokuba unomona.

Sihlala sicinga ukuba umona ubotshelelwe luthando. Lo mqondo unokuguqula imeko yethu yokucinga abanye bethu abalulekileyo "njengelifa lethu." Umona awukho kuphela kubudlelwane bezothando, nangona kunjalo. Enye indlela yokhuphiswano kubantakwenu inokuba isekwe kwisoyikiso esibonwayo sokuphulukana nothando lomzali komnye umzalwana. Ngokukwanjalo, abahlobo ababini banokukhuphisana ngokuqwalaselwa kunye nexesha lomhlobo wesithathu ngenxa yesoyikiso esibonwayo sokuphulukana nokusondela kwabo bobabini nomhlobo wesithathu.

Umona uFundeka ngokuBalulekileyo

Ngaba Ukufihla Ukukhanya Kwakho Phantsi Kwebhasi?