Xa "Isimo Sombulelo" Sanele

Yamkelwa ngokubanzi kwicandelo lesayensi yezengqondo-inzululwazi yolonwabo- ukugcina "isimo sengqondo sombulelo" yinto ephambili kubomi obonwabisayo. Oku kuyavakala, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kuba sonke sihlala kwiinethiwekhi zonxibelelwano ezixhume kakhulu. Oku kuthetha ukuba sonke sixhomekeke kwintando elungileyo nakwizenzo zobubele zabanye, kwaye sivakalisa umbulelo xa sifumana ububele siyayamkela le nto.

Uphando lubonisa ukuba amazwi ombulelo ayinzuzo kulowo uphayo nalowo ufumanayo. Umzekelo, kolunye uphononongo olubandakanya umzekelo wokupha izipho, omabini amaqela achaze ukwanda kokonwaba ukuba umamkeli ubonakalisa umbulelo ongazenzisiyo. Olu konyusa ulonwabo lwafunyanwa kwangoko emva koko kodwa kwinyanga enye yokulandela xa umniki kunye nomamkeli baceliwe ukuba bakhumbule umsitho. Ngamanye amagama, amazwi ombulelo ayinzuzo kulowo uphayo nalowo ufumeneyo.

Nokuba kubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla xa sifumana ububele kubantu esingabaziyo, kubalulekile ukuba sibonise uxabiso. Kutheni ungancumi kwaye uvume umntu okuvulele umnyango? Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, banike umzuzu wexesha labo ukwenza ubomi bakho bube lula. Kwaye kutheni ungambuleli umphathi-mali kwivenkile enkulu? Nangona besenza "nje umsebenzi wabo," ngekhe ube nokutya kwakho ngaphandle kwabo. Ngokuvakalisa umbulelo wethu, sonyusa imo yethu, kodwa sonyusa ulonwabo lwabo sibabulelayo, kwaye ngenxa yoko senza okuncinci ukwenza umhlaba ube yindawo engcono.

Phakathi kwabo bonke ubudlelwane esibandakanyekayo kubo, akukho namnye oxhomekeke kunomtshato. Ngaphezu kwakhe nabani na ongomnye, sixhomekeke kwiqabane lethu ukuba lifezekise iimfuno zethu. Kuba sifumana izibonelelo ezininzi kumlingane wethu-amaxesha ngamaxesha singakhange siyiqonde-ukugcina isimo sombulelo kunokuba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ekugcineni ulonwabo kubudlelwane. Ngapha koko, uninzi lobungqina bokujonga lubonisa ukuba abantu abatshatileyo abahlala bevakalisa umbulelo omnye komnye bonwabile kunabo bangenalo.

Ngokuchaseneyo, kwenzeka ntoni xa elinye iqabane lihlala livakalisa umbulelo kodwa elinye lingawenzi? Kwelinye icala, ukubulela kukonyusa imeko yabo bobabini, kungakho ukuba iqabane elinombulelo linokugcina umtshato uqhubeka. Kwelinye icala, ukungaphenduli kweqabane elingenambulelo kunokuwutshabalalisa umtshato, kubenze bobabini abatshatileyo ukuba babe lusizi.

Lo ngumbuzo ovavanywe ziingcali zengqondo zeFlorida State University uJames McNulty no-Alexander Dugas kuphononongo lwakutsha nje. Abaphandi bafumana abantu abatsha abayi-120 abatshatileyo, ababalandelela kwisithuba seminyaka emithathu. Ngamaxesha aqhelekileyo, abatshati bazalisa uphando olujolise ekulinganiseni ukoneliseka kwabo ngobuhlobo kunye nenqanaba lokuziva kwabo kunye nokubonisa umbulelo kwiqabane labo.

Emva kokuba iziphumo zovavanyo lokuqala zibaliwe, umntu ngamnye othatha inxaxheba unokuchongwa njengophawu oluphezulu okanye oluphantsi lombulelo. Oku kwakuthetha ukuba izibini zingahlulwa-hlulwa zibe ziindidi ezintathu: zombini ziphakamileyo ekubonakaliseni umbulelo, zombini ziphantsi kwintetho yombulelo, okanye enye iphakame kwaye enye iphantsi.

Kuba umbulelo uphinde walinganiswa kwakhona rhoqo kwisithuba seminyaka emithathu ezayo, abaphandi banokubona ukuba akukho lutshintsho lubalulekileyo ngexesha lesifundo. Ngokubanzi, bekukho ukuhla kweemvakalelo kunye namazwi ombulelo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo ebonisa ukuphela kwexesha lokutshata apho yonke imitshato idlula khona.

Nangona kunjalo, abantu babethanda ukungaguquguquki kwinqanaba labo lombulelo kuyo yonke iminyaka emithathu yesifundo. Ngamanye amagama, imeko yeqabane elinye yombulelo ibingasuleli kwiqabane elingenambulelo. Kwangokunjalo, iqabane lokuqala elinombulelo alizange likwamkele ukungaphenduli kweqabane labo.

Iziphumo eziphambili zolu phononongo yayikukuba amanqanaba okuqala ombulelo kula maqabane mabini aqikelela ukoneliseka bubudlelwane. Oku kuyinyani kokubini ekuqaleni komtshato kunye nexesha ngalinye lokulinganisa kwiminyaka emithathu ezayo. Xa omabini amaqabane eqala umtshato benesimo sombulelo, ulonwabo lwabo lokuqala lwalungaphezulu nje komndilili kwiqela. Kwaye ngaphandle kokwehla okuncinci kulwaneliseko lobuhlobo kule minyaka mithathu izayo, yahlala ingaphezulu komndilili.

Ibali lahluke kakhulu, nangona kunjalo, xa elinye okanye omabini amaqabane ayephantsi kwiimvakalelo kwaye evakalisa umbulelo. Bawuqala umtshato wabo benenqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokonwaba, eliye lawela ngokukhawuleza laya kwi-avareji engezantsi (oko kukuthi, "ukungonwabi") kule minyaka mithathu izayo. Ngamanye amagama, iqabane elinye kuphela elingenambulelo lalanele ukuwudiliza umtshato.

Ekuboneni, ezi ziphumo azothusi. Okwangoku, ndicinga ukuba ikhona imiyalezo ebalulekileyo yokuthatha ekhaya evela kolu phononongo.

Okokuqala, sonke siyindalo yomkhwa, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba asinakho ukuzitshintsha. Abanye bethu babenesimo sokubulela esifakwe kuthi besebancinci. Kodwa abanye bethu bakhule benemodeli ezingalunganga, kwaye asikaze sifunde ukubaluleka kokuvakalisa umbulelo ngezinto abantu ebomini bethu abasenzela zona.

Ukuba uyabona ukuba ungomnye wabo kungafane kwenzeke ukuba bakhuphe ulwimi lwakho lombulelo, nikela ingqalelo kwindlela ukungabi nambulelo okukurhuqela phantsi- nabanye kunye nawe. Bona ukuba ungazinqanda na ukubonisa uxabiso lwakho rhoqo. Uya kumangaliswa ziimpendulo ezintle ozifumanayo.

Okwesibini, kuya kufuneka sigcine engqondweni ukuba sinokutshintsha thina, hayi abanye. Ukuba iqabane lakho lingomnye "wabantu abangenambulelo abafileyo," oko kukuthi, akufanele ulindele ukuba isimo sakho sokubonga sichaphazele kubo. Ngapha koko, ukukrokra kunye nokukhahlela kuya kwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi, kuba ubanike nesona sizathu sokuba bazive bengenambulelo.

Nangona kunjalo, unokuzama ukuqonda ukuba kutheni iqabane lakho likufumanisa kunzima ukubonisa uxabiso lwabo xa ubenzela izinto. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, kukho iyantlukwano ngokwenkcubeko kwindlela nabantu ababonisa ngayo umbulelo. Ngokufanayo, iintsapho zahlukile kwimikhwa yazo yokubulela. Ungazama ukucacisela iqabane lakho ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukubonga kuwe-kwaye ungayixabisa kangakanani ukuba banokuphendula ngokwentetho kwizenzo zakho zobubele.

Okokugqibela, jonga ukuba kungakho esinye isizathu sokuba iqabane lakho lithandabuze ukubulela. Umzekelo, xa abantu benengxaki yoxinzelelo, baziva bebandezelekile kwaye bahlala bekhanyisa ngamashwa abo. Bafumana isizathu esincinci sokuba bazive benombulelo.

Ukuba kunjalo kwimeko yakho, mnike inkxaso abayidingayo ukuze batshintshe ubomi babo. Oku kuyakudinga ukucetyiswa, mhlawumbi umntu ngamnye kunye nesibini. Kodwa ungabanceda ngokubakhuthaza ukuba bathethe ngokukhululekileyo. Kwakhona, qiniseka ukuba umamela ngovelwano ngaphandle kokugweba. Ngenye imini, iqabane lakho linokuyixabisa into obenzele yona. Kwaye oko kuyakwenza nonwabe kakhulu.