Xa uMhlobo wakho osenyongweni edlula: Iingcebiso zokujamelana nokufa kwesilwanyana

Kwiveki ephelileyo, ababini kubahlobo bam abathandekayo baphulukana nabahlobo babo abasenyongweni. Emva kokunikela iminyaka eli-13 yobuqabane, kwafuneka ukuba kubekwe izinja ezimbini ezintle. Amava andikhumbuze xa kudlula izinja zam: ukophuka kwentliziyo ngokupheleleyo. Kwabaninzi kuthi abazithandayo izilwanyana zethu zasekhaya ngaphezu kwezinye izalamane, ukuphulukana nazo emva kweminyaka emininzi yothando olungenamiqathango kunokuba yintlungu kwaye ibangele. Namhlanje kukho amaqela enkxaso, iibhlog kunye nezinye izixhobo zokunceda abantu abathandana nosizi ukuba bahlangabezane nelahleko yabo, kodwa isisifundo esenza ukuba uninzi lungakhululeki.

Kwinkcubeko yaseNtshona, siyazonakalisa izilwanyana zethu, nangona kunjalo, kwabo bangakhange babenalo ulonwabo lokubandakanya umhlobo onoboya kusapho lwabo, umbono wokuthomalalisa inja, ikati okanye esinye isidalwa unokuba ngumnqa kwaye ububudenge. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba ayifanelekanga ukuba buhlungu ngenxa yokuphulukana "nesilwanyana sasekhaya" kodwa kwabo bethu bayifumanayo, le ntlekele iyinyani. Xa abahlobo babhengeza ukusweleka kwabahlobo babo ku-Facebook, uninzi lwaphawula ngobubele, ukanti abanye babengaqinisekanga ngendlela yokuphendula ukusweleka komntu ongenguye umntu. Ngapha koko, abaphathi bezilwanyana ezibuhlungu babengaqinisekanga ukuba "bangazenza njani" kwaye baqhubeka nokucela uxolo kwimvula yezinyembezi, iintsuku zomsebenzi eziphosakeleyo kunye nokudakumba. Kodwa kutheni befanele bazisole? Ukufa kothandekayo, nokuba sisilwanyana okanye umntu, kubuhlungu ngokweemvakalelo.

Kubantwana, ukulahleka kwesilwanyana kunokuba yinto yokuqala yokufa komntwana. Abantwana abancinci banokudideka, babe lusizi kwaye badandatheke, bekholelwa ukuba abanye ababakhathaleleyo banokuthathwa nabo. Ukuzama ukukhusela umntwana kwintlungu ngokuthi inja okanye ikati ibalekile kungakhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokungcatshwa okanye zokuphelelwa lithemba. Iingcali zentlungu yesilwanyana kunye noogqirha bezilwanyana bacebisa ukuba ukuveza intlungu yakho kunokuba yeyona ndlela ingcono yokuqinisekisa umntwana ukuba usizi ngenxa yokuphulukana nesilwanyana silungile.

Abantu abadala abadala banokuchaphazeleka ikakhulu kukusweleka kwesilwanyana esibuxabisileyo. Ndikhumbula xa umakhulu wam waphulukana nenja yakhe uTrixie kungekude emva kokuba umyeni wakhe weminyaka engama-50 + edlulile. Kwakunzima kuthi sonke, kodwa ngakumbi umakhulu. Abadala, ukujongana nemicimbi yabo yempilo kunye nokufa kunye noxanduva lwezezimali zokugcina isilwanyana sasekhaya banokoyiswa bubulolo obunqabileyo kodwa bayathandabuza ukufumana esinye isilwanyana. Olunye uhlobo kubanini bezilwanyana ngokusisigxina kunokuba lukhetho olufanelekileyo kubantu abadala. Ukuvolontiya kwindawo yokuhlala izilwanyana, ukukhonza njengomzali okhulisa abantwana kwizilwanyana ezigulayo okanye ukuhlala kwezilwanyana kunokuba yindlela elungileyo yokuba nomnxibelelanisi wesilwanyana sasekhaya.

Ezinye izilwanyana zasekhaya azikhuselekanga kwintlungu. Xa uKitty wam othandekayo womhlobo wam wadlula, iqabane lakhe lekati uBooBoo lahlupheka kangangeentsuku. Wayehambahamba eflethini emfuna kwaye wayeka ukutya nokusela kancinci. Ikati ibicinezelekile ngokucacileyo. Emva kokuba umhlobo wam echithe ixesha elininzi kunye noBooBoo, wabuya wachacha kwaye wabuyela kwinto yakhe yakudala. Uninzi lwezilwanyana luyakuthi izilwanyana zasekhaya zivakalelwa kukuba zilahlekile nokuba bezingasoloko zivumelana nezilwanyana ezihlala nazo.

Ukujongana nokuphulukana nesilwanyana sasekhaya kunokuba luhambo olunesizungu kunye nokudideka. Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso:

• Yamkela intlungu kwaye uzinike u "ok" ukuyiveza
• Zijikeleze ngabantu abaxhasayo abayiqondayo imbophelelo yomnini-zilwanyana
• Thetha malunga neemvakalelo zakho kwijenali
• Yakha isikhumbuzo kwisilwanyana sakho sasekhaya
• Yenza incwadi yesilwanyana
• Xelela ibali elihlekisayo ngesilwanyana sakho sasekhaya
• Igalelo kwibhlog yakho okanye indawo ye-Intanethi ukunceda wena kunye nabanye abanini zinkomo
• Tsalela umnxeba kuluntu lwasekhaya olunobuntu okanye ugqirha wezilwanyana kwaye ubuze malunga namaqela enkxaso yokuphulukana nesilwanyana. Okanye wenze iqela lakho lenkxaso
• Tsalela umnxeba kumnxeba osetyenziselwa ukuphulukana nesilwanyana..nombolo ziyafumaneka kuMbutho weDelta. www.mloinemedia.org
• Cinga ulinde ngaphambi kokuba ufumane isilwanyana esitsha. Ngexesha lokuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo idrive yokwamkela isilwanyana esitsha inokuba namandla kodwa ngokutsho kweengcali le mvakalelo kufuneka ixhathisiwe kude kube lusizi lokuqala njengokuncipha.

Namhlanje iincwadi, iingcali zonyango kunye ne-Intanethi ezenzelwe ukunceda abanini bezilwanyana abanganyamezelekiyo ukuba bajongane nokufa okuninzi, kodwa akukho nto ithatha indawo yomhlobo ngendlebe enovelwano. Ukuphulukana nesilwanyana sasekhaya sisiganeko esineemvakalelo ezichaphazela wonke umntu osapho. Ndikhumbula ndithumela iintyatyambo kumhlobo wam uFrank ngexa ubhubhe wakhe omkhulu uSherman wasweleka. Emva kwexesha wathi ukuvuma intlungu yakhe kunye nokuthatha ngokungathandekiyo intlungu yakhe yayisesona sipho sibalaseleyo anokufumana. Amakhadi, ukukhunjulwa kunye neminikelo egameni lesilwanyana-qabane kunokuthuthuzela kwaye kuthobe umzali wesilwanyana osentlungwini. Ukuba uchukumisekile kukusweleka kwesilwanyana osithandayo, yazi ukuba awuwedwa kwaye kulungile ukuba ukhale xa isilwanyana sisifa.

I-Snoops, eyona nja inomdla kunye nenja endakha ndadibana nayo!