Ngubani Othi Isini Esilungileyo Ngaba — Okanye Simelwe Ukuba — Sisilula?

Umxholo

• Ukwabelana ngesondo kubalulekile
• Ukuzisola ngezeSondo Akutshintshi indlela yokuziphatha ngokwesondo kwixa elizayo

Ndifumana izinto ezininzi ezilahlekisayo, iingcinga-zomzimba kwinqaku leNew York Times ngeCawe Magazine, "Ngaba Umtshato Olingana Ngakumbi Uthetha Isini Esincinci?" ukuba andinako hayi phendula kwaye kunzima ukuba uqale ngaphi!

Intsomi ebalaseleyo, ewe, yeyona iviwayo inembali eyomeleleyo: njengoko iminyaka yobudala bomtshato, uthando luyehla. Ukujija kwengxoxo yeli nqaku kukuba ukulingana emtshatweni kunciphisa ukuhla. Njengazo zonke iintsomi ezilungileyo, le iyazizalisekisa. Yikholelwe — nokuba uyoyike — iya kuba yinyani. Uya kuqaphela ukuthotywa komnqweno kwaye ubamkele njengobungqina bento oyaziyo: isini esincinci, ukwaneliseka ngesondo, ukoneliseka okuncinci ngokwesondo kuqinisekisiwe. Njengokuba eli nqaku liqukumbela, izibini ezininzi ezitshatileyo kudala zamkela ukuba oko zinako “kwanele”.

Andiyithengi.

Phambi kokuba ndijongane nale ntsomi ngokuthe ngqo, nangona kunjalo, ndifuna ukukhupha iingcinga ezine-over-body imagin kwinqaku eliyibambayo. Ukuphendula, ndinikezela ngeendlela ezizezinye kulowo ukhomba kwizigqibo ezahlukeneyo.

Ingqikelelo # 1: Ukwabelana ngesondo kulula, okanye ubuncinci, kufanelekile . Inqaku lithatha ukuba eyona isondo yeyona isondo eyenzeka rhoqo, rhoqo, kwaye ngokwendalo. "It" kubandakanya ukuvusa i-orgasm, amandla omzimba kunye nesidingo sebhayiloji. Kwenzeka ukuba nje akukho nto ingena endleleni. Umtshato, ewe, kwaye konke uxanduva lokuzibophelela kunye nokuzibophelela, ngakumbi xa kwabelwana ngako, kungena endleleni. Umtshato ke yingxaki.

Ingqikelelo # 2: Ukwabelana ngesondo yinto eyenziwa ngomatshini; Umnqweno wethu wokwabelana ngesondo ngumnqweno "wawo." Inqaku licinga ukuba ukoneliseka kwenzeka xa "kusenzeka". Amaqabane ayonwaba kakhulu xa esenza iintshukumo ezivelisa ukubetha komzimba. Ulwaneliseko olunjalo yinto onokuyibala: Amaxesha angama-X ngeveki. Ngokunjalo, esi senzo senziwe ngoomatshini kunye nokukhululwa kwaso ngokwasemzimbeni zezona zinto zibalulekileyo kulonwabo lobudlelwane: kokukhona kungcono. Izidingo zethu zomzimba kufuneka zifezekiswe.

Ingqikelelo # 3. Uthando lwenza ukuba ulwabelana ngesondo . Ucinga ukuba isini sisenzo somzimba, eli nqaku likwabonisa ukuba isondo (isindululo) singohlulwa luthando (imvakalelo). Njengoko inqaku lisitsho, umntu angathandana nomntu omnye kwaye abelane ngesondo nomnye umntu. Abantu ababini banokuthandana kwaye bangabelani ngesondo omnye komnye, okanye babelane ngesondo kwaye bangathandani. Intsingiselo kukuba olona luvo lubalaseleyo ngokwesondo lwenzeka xa uthando lubonelela ngesiqulatho seemvakalelo zesenzo sokuqhuma ngokwasemzimbeni. Ukwabelana ngesondo emtshatweni kwenziwa kakuhle kuba kwenzelwa uthando, ngelixa uziva uthando, kwananjengokubonakalisa uthando.

Ingqikelelo # 4. Ukwabelana ngesondo kubhetele (okuthetha ukuba “kunjalo” rhoqo) xa iindima zesini zahluliwe . Apha iingcinga zokuqala ezintathu zeli nqaku zidibene kunye ukuxhasa iindima zesini zemveli. Kuba isondo sisifiso sendalo, isenzo esinokwenziwa ngothando nangaphandle kothando, ubudlelwane bunoyolo ukuba umntu-ungumfazi ngokubanzi-uyathobela.

Ndenza ntoni ngezi ngcinga?

Zonke zisebenza ngengqondo engaphaya komzimba. Oko kukuthi, bathatha ngokungakhathali ukuba "thina" ziingqondo ezihlala ngaphakathi, ngaphezulu, kwaye ngokuchasene nemizimba yenyama ezenzo zethu "thina" zinoxanduva.

Kodwa kuthekani ukuba asizizo iingqondo emzimbeni? Kuthekani ukuba singumzimba uqobo-izingqisho eziqhubekayo zokuba ngumzimba-iintshukumo zawo zisenza (njengoko ndiphikisa Wazi ntoni uMzimba )? Yintoni enokuthi itshintshe kwindlela esizijonga ngayo kunye namava omtshato kunye nokwabelana ngesondo?

Nazi iimpendulo zam.

Impendulo # 1. Ukwabelana ngesondo hayi lula . Ukwabelana ngesondo ngokulungileyo phakathi kokuvumelana kuyabanzima. Kubandakanya inkqubo engapheliyo yokufumanisa, ukudala, kunye neepateni zokuphendula, ukunyakaza kobudlelwane. Ibandakanya iinxalenye ezininzi zoxinzelelo, ingqalelo, uvelwano, ukucinga, ulungelelwaniso, unyamezelo, kunye nomzamo-singasathethi ke ngomnqweno. Nangona kunjalo umnqweno wesondo yinto encinci yenxalenye, njengokuba umnqweno wokutya uyinxalenye encinci yokulungiselela ukutya okunesondlo.

Ukuba isini esilungileyo phakathi kwamaqabane avumayo sasilula, ngekhe kubekhona ubuhenyu, iphonografi, okanye nayiphi na enye indlela abantu abafuna ngayo ulwaneliseko lokwenyani. Abantu baya kuba nazo iimfuno zomzimba. Ukwabelana ngesondo okuhle akukho lula; kwaye umbono wokuba kufanele ukuba uyinxalenye yento eyenza ukuba inkqubo ibenzima!

Ngapha koko, ukwabelana ngesondo okuhle kuthatha ixesha-kwaye hayi ixesha nje ukwenza "oko." Njengabantu ababini abenza ubomi kunye, njengoko ubuchwephesha bokuxhomekeka kwabo besiya bukhula bunzima ngakumbi, kukwanjalo nangeendawo zabo ezinokuthi zenze kwaye zenze kwaye zifuna ukudibana. Ixesha elingaphezulu, isondo sinokukhula ngakumbi kuba sinakho kwaye siyakwenza kwaye kufuneka sibandakanye uluhlu olupheleleyo lweemvakalelo kunye namava.

Ukwabelana ngesondo kubalulekile

Ukuzisola ngezeSondo Akutshintshi indlela yokuziphatha ngokwesondo kwixa elizayo