Kutheni le nto iiGadi zilunge kangaka emphefumlweni?

Umxholo

• Unokuba Nguwe
• Unako ukuthoba isantya
• Unganxibelelana nabanye, kubandakanya oSukayo
• Ungalufumana Uthando
• Ungaphuma Kwintloko Yakho
• Unokuvula ukuze utshintshe
• Unokufumana Ubomi Ekufeni

Xa sinzakele emzimbeni, engqondweni, okanye emoyeni, sihlala sitsala kwilizwe lendalo njengendawo yokuphilisa. Abanye, kukuhamba ehlathini okanye elunxwemeni. Uninzi lwethu, igadi yindawo yethu yokuphilisa.

UChris Fehlhaber, umncedisi wezolimo eChanticleer Garden eWayne, ePennsylvania uthi: "Izitiya zinganceda ekunyangeni ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasemoyeni nangokweemvakalelo."

Ndothuswa zezi ziphumo zokuphilisa xa ndakha eyam igadi kunyaka ophelileyo. Ndiphakathi kwexesha elide ndinesifo sokungunda esinetyhefu esingafunyaniswanga ngelo xesha kwaye ndaziva nditsalelekile ukwakha igadi yemifuno emva kwendlu yam-hayi kuba ndandilindele ukuba izokulungisa oko kundigulayo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ndandikuthanda ukusebenza egadini kwaye ndifuna ezinye izinto endizithandayo.

Kwakukho into malunga nokuba ngaphandle okuziva kunika ubomi, nkqu kwindawo eyomileyo ye-20-degree kaFebruwari njengoko ndakha iibhedi eziphakanyisiweyo. Ndazifumana ngokulula ndiyeka ukukhathazeka kwam rhoqo ziimpawu ezingaqondakaliyo ezazithintele imisebenzi yam. Xa bendigcwalisa iibhedi ndiguqe ngamadolo emhlabeni izandla zam zisemhlabeni, ingqondo yam icolile kwaye umoya wam uhlaziyekile.

Umbhali uMargo Rabb wazibonela indlela yakhe yokuphilisa kwintlungu engapheliyo egadini ethandwa nguFehlhaber, awayehlala naye kuyo INew York Times elithi, “Umyezo Wothuthuzelo.” Ndithethile nabo bobabini kwi Cinga umthetho ube I-podcast njengoko sihlolisise oko kunika iigadi amandla abo okuphulukisa. Nazi imixholo esixhenxe ethe yavela kwingxoxo yethu.

Unokuba Nguwe

Kwilizwe elisikhuthaza ukuba sinxibe i-façade, igadi yindawo ethembekileyo nehlaziyayo. "Enye yezinto esizithandayo ngezityalo kukuba banyanisekile kuthi," uFehlhaber sais. Isityalo siza kukuxelela ukuba alifumani malanga ngokwaneleyo okanye lifumana amanzi amaninzi. ”

Ukunyaniseka esikufumanayo egadini kukhuthaza ukuthembeka kwethu kunye nokunyaniseka. "Ukuba yonke into ekungqongileyo inyanisekile kwaye iziveza njengoko injalo, yeka umlo wakho," utshilo uFehlhaber. "Njengoko uyeka ukuzikhusela, oko kunokukhokelela ekunyangeni."

Inxalenye yokuba nguwe ukhululekile ukuba uve indlela oziva ngayo. "Kum, yayiyindawo apho usizi lwalungaziva ngathi yinto 'elungisiweyo,' utshilo uRabb. “Sifuna ukukholelwa ekubeni usizi yinto oyiphumezayo, kodwa awunayo. Itshintsha iifom kwaye ijikeleza kwaye iza kwaye ihambe, kodwa awuphumeleli. Le yayiyindawo apho ungaziva ulusizi kubo bonke ubunzima bayo. Ndiva iimvakalelo ezinzima ndaza ndazishiya nje. ”

Njengoko sivumela ukukhuselwa kwethu ukuba kwehle kwaye sizivumele sinyaniseke, sivula inyani yamava ethu kunye nokuba singoobani. Yintoni indawo engcwele ukuba ayiyondawo onokuba kuyo?

Unako ukuthoba isantya

Xa ungena egadini, ixesha lithanda ukuthoba isantya. Ingqondo kunye nomzimba wakho uphumle njengoko usiya kude nokuxakeka kwemihla ngemihla, kwaye unokunxibelelana nomoya wakho. Izitiya zisimema ukuba sishiye ukwenziwa rhoqo kwaye sizivumele ukuba sibekho.

“Kukho ubulali kwizitiya,” utshilo uRabb, “kwaye ikukubaleka iindaba kunye nobundlobongela esihlala sihlangana nabo. Asililo ilizwe elithambileyo apha phandle. ” Wafumanisa ukuba iChanticleer Garden yanikela ngendawo ayidingayo ukuze azive lusizi lokulahlekelwa ngumama kwiminyaka engama-25 ngaphambili. Isantya esingakhawuleziyo sokuba segadini sinika ixesha elifunekayo lokuba buhlungu.

“Asisenazo ezi ndawo zincinci,” utshilo uMarbhi. "Ukuza apha apho izinto zinoxolo kwaye zithambile-yindawo engcwele."

Ndayiva le ngqondo yokuzinikezela njengoko ndaguqa egadini yam ngenye imini. Oko kwaqala njengokuma kokutsala ukhula kwaguqulwa kwaba sisenzo esingcwele, ngokungathi bendikhetha into enkulu kunam.

Unganxibelelana nabanye, kubandakanya oSukayo

Izitiya zinokusebenza njengomjelo phakathi kwethu nabanye abantu. Nangona sihlala singazazi izandla ezakha igadi, siziva ngathi ukubamba kwabantu kuhlala nathi egadini. Igadi inokuthwala uphawu lwabo bayiyileyo kwaye babeke izityalo kunye nemithi emhlabeni, nokuba kudala bemkile.

UFehlhaber wabelane ngeakhawunti yakhe ngendlela iigadi ezinokusidibanisa ngayo nabantu abangasaphiliyo. "Utat'omkhulu wayedla ngokundiphakamisa emagxeni akhe ukuba anuke iintyatyambo zomthi wonkala," utshilo. “Kude kube namhla ndisenza inqaku lokungabanuki rhoqo njengoko ndinakho rhoqo entwasahlobo kuba banomdla kakhulu. Kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndibuyela emagxeni akhe. ”

Ungalufumana Uthando

Xa ucinga ngegadi usenokungacingi ngothando, kodwa ngamandla okunyanga anikwa ziigadi. Igadi yakhelwe eluthandweni-hayi intsingiselo yentliziyo ebomvu nepomvu, kodwa ngamandla obomi asisiseko akuyo yonke into ephilayo. Ukunxibelelana nolo hlobo lothando kunokuba yinxalenye yokuphilisa.

Uthando egadini luza ngamava ethu eemvakalelo kunokuba luthethe ngamagama. "Izityalo zinxibelelana nawe ngolwimi lweemvakalelo-ukubona, isandi, ukubamba, ukungcamla kunye nevumba," utshilo uFehlhaber. “Zonke izityalo zinokuthetha kakhulu xa sizipha ixesha lokuziqonda. Abakwazi ukuyithetha ngomlomo, kodwa ingaba uthando alungombonakaliso wempilo nolonwabo? ”

Uthando luphuma kwakhona kwinkathalo engena egadini. Nangaliphi na ixesha ubeka intliziyo yakho nomphefumlo wakho entweni, uthando olusisiseko sayo lunokunceda kwinkqubo yokuphilisa. Olo thando nomoya zezinto ezihambelana nabantu egadini, ”utshilo uFehlhaber.

URabbhu wavuma. “Uyabona ukuba kungakanani kugalelwe igadi, emva koko uyayifumana,” utshilo. Kufana nobudlelwane, phantse kufana nokufumana ileta yothando. ”

Ungaphuma Kwintloko Yakho

Elinye lezona ndawo zibalaseleyo egadini lutshintsho olwamkelekileyo lwendawo entle, nokuba kukusuka ekulahlekelweni yingcinga okanye ukuncamatheliswa kwiscreen. "Amazwe ethu aba mancinci kwaye asinyani xa sijongana nento enje ngosizi," utshilo uFehlhaber, "kwaye kulula ukulahleka kwiimbali zethu. Xa ungaziyeka ezo ngcinga kwaye ubekhona nje kwaye uzibandakanye nezinto ezikungqongileyo, uyabona ukuba bungakanani ubomi obusenzeka ngokunyaniseka obungenanto yakwenza nawe. ”

Ubomi nokufa kuhlala kusingqonga egadini. Singafumana intuthuzelo ngokwazi ukuba le mijikelo iyaqhubeka, nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kubomi bethu. "Bonke ubomi obufumanayo egadini buya kuphila kwaye buza kufa, buya kuba neentsuku ezintle neentsuku ezimbi njengathi," utshilo uFehlhaber. “Isityalo esikhangeleka sihle ngolunye usuku siya kuba sifile ngengomso. Obo bubomi — yiloo nto eyenzekayo. Kwaye oko kukunceda uyazi ukuba izakulunga. ”

Unokuvula ukuze utshintshe

Utshintsho lunzima, ngakumbi xa lungamkelekanga-ukuswelekelwa ngumntu omthandayo, umzekelo, okanye ukwehla kwempilo yethu. Olu tshintsho lunokuziva ngathi kukumka kwindlela izinto "ekufuneka zibekhona," njengoko sixhathisa nantoni na ephazamisa ilizwe lethu njengoko sisazi.

"Ukulima igadi sisiqinisekiso sokuba utshintsho alunakuphepheka kwaye lulungile," utshilo uFehlhaber. Ayilunganga okanye intle — injalo nje. Utshintsho luza nesiqinisekiso sokuba ubomi buphelile, kwaye buza kuphela njengamaxesha onyaka onke. ” Njengoko samkela imijikelo yobomi nokufa egadini, singasondela ekwamkeleni loo mijikelo kuthi nakwabo sibathandayo.

Kwinkqubo, izitiya zisikhumbuza ukuba utshintsho alusosiphelo sebali. "Igadi iqinisekisa ukuba ubomi buqhubeka, kwaye buza kuqhubeka emva nangaphandle kwethu," utshilo uFehlhaber.

Unokufumana Ubomi Ekufeni

Ukufa lolona tshintsho kunzima ukwamkela. Ukufa kuyaziva njengokugqibela kwaye kunokubonakala ngathi kukungafaniyo nobomi. Kodwa izitiya zingasibonisa ukuba ukufa ayisiyinxalenye yobomi kuphela kodwa kuyabenza ubomi. Izityalo ezifileyo kunye nezinye izinto eziphilayo ziqhekekile ziintsholongwane kwaye zibe ngumgquba onika ubomi kwixesha elizayo lokukhula.

"Into malunga nezitiya kukuba zakhiwe ngokoqobo ekufeni nasekuboleni," utshilo uFehlhaber. “Yiyo le nto inceda ukwenza umhlaba owenza ukuba yonke into esijikelezileyo ikwazi ukubakho. Into ebonakala imbi kakhulu inika amathuba abo bonke obu bomi kwaye sonwabe. ”

UFehlhaber wenze umzekelo ekwindla esekupheleni, ebonwa njengexesha lokufa kunye nokubola. “Njengabagadi begadi sibona oku njengokuqala kwesizini entsha kuba yonke into eyenzekayo ngoku yinto eza kuvumela ukuba le gadi ikhule izalwe ngokutsha kunyaka ozayo. Ukufa kuyo yonke indawo egadini, kwaye kulungile. ”

"Ngumsebenzi wobugcisa ohlala uphila kwaye usweleke phambi kwakho," wongeze watsho uRabb. Kukho into entle kwaye ethuthuzelayo kuloo nto. ”

Incoko epheleleyo noMargo Rabb kunye noChris Fehlhaber eChanticleer Garden iyafumaneka Apha