Ngaba ukudibana okuqhelekileyo kuye kwakhokelela kubudlelwane obuqatha?

Umxholo

• Amanqaku aphambili
• Indlela eya kwezothando
• Ngaba Ukulalana Kuthetha Ukubutha?
• Ukuzibandakanya kwingxoxo endaweni yokuhlangana nje

Amanqaku aphambili

• Uninzi lwabafundi beekholeji banethemba lokuba ukuhlangana kuya kukhokelela kulwalamano okanye ubuncinci ekunxibelelaneni nabo, uphando lubonisa.
• Owona mqikelelo ubalaseleyo kunxibelelwano lwexesha elizayo okanye ubudlelwane kukuqhelana neqabane kunye nokuziva uziva emva kokudibana.
• Ngaphandle kwento esoloko isenziwa, ulutsha oluninzi lufuna ubudlelwane obunempilo obukhula ngaphandle kwencoko kunokuba bubudlelwane obusondeleyo.

Abantu abancinci kwindawo yokubonana bahlala bekholelwa ukuba bafuna amaqabane aqhelekileyo. Kodwa ngaba olu luphawu olufanelekileyo? Inyani yile yokuba uninzi lolutsha alunamdla wokusondelelana okungenantsingiselo, kodwa uthethathethwano olunokuba luncedo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, uphando lubonisa ukuba nanamhlanje, phakathi kwe-smorgasbord yeendlela zokuthandana zombini kwi-Intanethi nangaphandle, uninzi lwabantu abancinci lujonga ukudibana okuqhelekileyo njengendlela yokufumana isigxina.

Indlela eya kwezothando

Abantu abadala banokukhumbula inkcubeko eyahlukileyo yokuthandana. Akukho mntu ujonge umhla kubucala kwigumbi labo lokulala besebenzisa ikhompyuter, kodwa ngandlela thile ii-singles zikwazile ukuxuba kunye nokudibanisa. Ke, ngaphandle kwendlela, uthini malunga neenjongo? Ngaba bebehlukile kunanamhlanje?

UHeather Hensman Kettrey kunye no-Aubrey D. Johnson baphonononge lo mbandela kwisihloko esithi "Ukuhlangana kunye nokuBambisana" (2020). , uphando lubonisa ukuba abafundi abaninzi beekholeji bajonga "ii-hookups" njengendlela eya kubudlelwane-nangona zimbalwa ii-hookups ezivelisa esi siphumo.

Ngaba Ukulalana Kuthetha Ukubutha?

U-Kettrey noJohnson baqaphela ukuba igama elithi "hook up" linobunkunkqele kwaye alicacanga, lisetyenziswa ngabantu abadala ukuba babhekise kuluhlu olubanzi lokuhlangana okubandakanya amanqanaba ahlukeneyo okusondelelana. Ngokumalunga "namaqabane," bayaqaphela ukuba ii-hookups zinokwenzeka phakathi kwamadangatye exesha, izihlobo, okanye abo babaziyo. Nangona kunjalo, bayaqaphela ukuba ii-hookups zisenokwenzeka kakhulu ukuba zibandakanye ukwazana kunabantu ongabaziyo.

U-Kettrey noJohnson bacacisa ukuba nangona abanye abantu abancinci bexhamla ulwalamano lomzimba kunye "kungekho ntambo iqhotyoshelweyo," baninzi banethemba lokuba ezi zinto zidibeneyo ziya kukhokelela ekuzinikeleni okanye ubuncinci kunxibelelwano lwamva. Ngapha koko, bayaqaphela ukuba abafundi beekholeji abangakholelwa ukuba ii-hookups zingakhokelela kubudlelwane akunakulindeleka ukuba babambane kwasekuqaleni.

Kwizinto uKettrey noJohnson abavavanyayo, kubandakanya inani labalingane, iimeko eziguquguqukayo, ukuseta phakathi kwabantu, kunye neemvakalelo ezinamava emva koko, bafumanisa ukuba iimpendulo zasemva kokudibana zazinxulumene kakhulu nomdla wokudibana kwexesha elizayo, kunye nomdla kubudlelwane. Bayaziqaphela ukuba iziphumo zabo zibonisa ukuba uqhelene neqabane kunye nokuva iimvakalelo ezilungileyo emva koko zezona zibikezelo zibalaseleyo zomdla olandelayo.

Ngaphandle kokuxhaphaka kwayo, nangona kunjalo, isimilo sokuziphatha ngokufuthi sigutyungelwa libala. U-Kettrey noJohnson baqaphela ukuba omabini amadoda nabafazi abancinci banokugwetywa okanye bangahlonitshwa ngokuziphatha kwabo, nokuba kuyinyani okanye kuyabonwa. Baqaphela ukuba abasetyhini banokugwetywa ngokungalinganiyo malunga noku.

Ukuzibandakanya kwingxoxo endaweni yokuhlangana nje

Ngaphandle kwendlela yokuziphatha kolutsha yokuthandana, inyani kukuba uninzi lwabantu abancinci lufuna ubudlelwane obunempilo bothando kunye nentlonipho ethi ikhule kwiintlanganiso ezibandakanya incoko enentsingiselo, endaweni yokuthandana nje. Ukujonga inqanaba lomdla wokulandela ubudlelwane obunzulu, kulandela ngokufanelekileyo ukuba olo phononongo lunokwenzeka ngokucacileyo, kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi kukhethwa, ngaphandle kokuzibandakanya ngokwesondo. Kwaye ngokuchasene nenyani yokuba ii-hookups ezininzi zibandakanya ukusetyenziswa kotywala okanye ezinye iziyobisi, ezinxulunyaniswa nokuziphatha okuyingozi ngamanye amaxesha nokuziphatha okuyingozi, ubudlelwane obusemgangathweni buqala ngengxoxo evuselelayo kunezinto eziguqula ingqondo.

Ngokubhekisele kwimpilo yeemvakalelo, uKettrey noJohnson bayaqaphela ukuba nangona abantu abancinci ngokubanzi benika ingxelo yeemvakalelo ezikhuthazayo emva kokuxhuma, abantu basetyhini banamathuba amaninzi kunamadoda okufumana iimpendulo ezingalunganga ezinje ngoxinzelelo kunye nokuzisola. Ingqondo, izigqibo ezicingisisiweyo malunga nokuba (kwaye kangakanani) ukuzibandakanya namaqabane ezentlalo kuya kuthintela ukusilela ekugwebeni okunokwenzeka ukuba kwenziwe ngelixa unxilile, kwaye ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo mancinci amathuba okuba neziphumo zokungonwabi, ukuzisola, okanye ukuphoxeka.

Ukwazi ii-paramours ezinokubakho ngokuzingca, ukubamba incoko kuhlala yenye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokuvuselela ikhemistri, ukukhuthaza ukudibana nabantu, kunye nokuqikelela impumelelo kulwalamano.

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