Unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo lusenza sibe seMpilweni

Umxholo

• Ukuncamathisela ukuFunda okuBalulekileyo
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Abaphandi bathathe ukungena emanzini kwiimfuno zabantu abadala. Oku kuyatshintsha iinkolelo malunga neemfuno zokuncamathisela abantu abadala. Kubonakala ngathi ukufuna ukunxibelelana okunzulu kunye neqabane akusilo uphawu lokungakhuli, ubuthathaka, okanye (loyikeka) ukuxhomekeka. Endaweni yoko, uphononongo lubonisa iimfuno zethu zeemvakalelo ziyinxalenye ebalulekileyo kunye nenempilo yenkqubo yethu yokusebenza yabantu abadala kwaye siyasinyanzela ukuba senze izinamathiselo ezikhuselekileyo. Oku kubalulekile kuba isizungu sinokuba yingozi kwimpilo yethu njengokutyeba okanye ukutshaya iisigarethi ezili-15 ngosuku. ¹

Sue Johnson's ² Uphando kunye nemodeli yokunyanga. Ngokusisiseko, ukunamathisela. Incwadi yakhe Ndibambe Ndijonge³ ukhokela izibini ekuvakaliseni ezi mfuno ngeendlela zothando ngaphandle "kwemidaniso" ebuhlungu ebandakanya ukugxeka, ukurhoxa, ukuthula nokuthetha. UBrené Brown ⁴ isusa ibala kunye nehlazo lokuba sesichengeni (jonga intetho yakhe kaTed ⁵ ), UDick Swartz ⁶ Imodeli yeNkqubo yoSapho yangaphakathi inceda amalungu ethu aselubhacweni kwaye agwetywe ukudibanisa kwaye azikhokele, kunye neCandace Pert ongasekhoyo ⁷ ovelise ngaphezulu kwama-250 amanqaku ophando avavanya indlela amalungu angaphakathi azibamba ngayo iimvakalelo.

Izibonelelo zokuba nesincamathiselo esikhuselekileyo sempilo kwiqabane lothando lomntu zicacile kwaye zibandakanya:

• Ukuba nethemba, ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.
• Utyekelo lokuzithemba okuhle.
• Intuthuzelo ngokwabelana ngeemvakalelo namaqabane kunye nabahlobo.
• Ukukwazi ukufuna inkxaso yoluntu. ⁸

NgokukaJohn Bowlby ⁹ , utata wencamathiselo yokuncamathisela, sonke sifuna ezi mpawu zine zokuncamathisela:

1. Ukugcinwa kufutshane. Umnqweno wokuba kufutshane nabantu esincamathele kubo.
2. Ihaven ekhuselekile. Ukubuyela kumfanekiso wokuncamathisela wentuthuzelo kunye nokhuseleko xa ujamelene noloyiko okanye isoyikiso.
3. Isiseko esikhuselekileyo. Inani lokuncamathisela lisebenza njengesiseko sokhuseleko apho umntwana anokujonga khona imeko-bume engqongileyo.
4. Uxinzelelo lokwahlukana. Ixhala elenzeka ngokungabikho komfanekiso oqhotyoshelweyo.¹⁰

Ukutshintsha kwesiko kunye netekhnoloji kuvelisa ukwahluka kobugcisa njengoko kubonwe kwimisebenzi yaseRembrandt, Chagall, Dali, Yayoi Kusama, nabanye, kwaye nolwazi ngemeko yomntu luyavela. Ukunyanga kwexesha, isakhono sonyango, kunye nezixhobo ezinje ngemfundo kunye nenkxaso mali yophando zonke zinegalelo kwinkqubela phambili kwicandelo lesayikholoji kunye nokwandisa ulwazi lwethu lobuntu.

Ngenxa yoko, ukuqonda kwethu iimfuno zethu zeemvakalelo kuyavela. Sifunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokuzalana.

Nanku umzekelo onokuthi uhambelana nawo: Uziva uzivalele phantsi kunxibelelwano neqabane lakho. Unesibindi kwaye uthi, “Ndizive ndikhathazekile xa ujonga ifowuni yakho ngelixa bendisabelana nosuku lwam olunzima emsebenzini. Ndizakutya ndedwa isidlo sangokuhlwa. ”

Omnye umntu (esebenzisa ukumamela okucingayo) usenokuthi, "Hon, ndiyeva ukuba uye wakhathazeka xa ndijonga umnxeba wam ngoku ufuna ukuba wedwa. Ndicinga ukuba uzive ulahliwe kwaye ungahoywanga. Ndikufumene?" Iqabane elonzakeleyo linokuthi "ewe", lonwabile kukwamkelwa endaweni yokuzikhusela okanye ukugwetywa njengo "kakhulu". Kodwa oko kuvuma ngekhe kuyinciphise imeko yabo yoxinzelelo. Iqabane labo libonakalise amazwi abo kwaye banikezela ukuqonda ngeemvakalelo ezivakalayo, kodwa baphoswa yimpembelelo yabo enzulu, enzima ngakumbi yeemvakalelo kunye ne-somatic.

Ngokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo "ungena" kwiimvakalelo zabanye uvelwano lokwenyani, ngolu hlobo:

"Hayi, molo, ke uyonzakalisa kwaye uzive ugxothiwe kwaye ungabalulekanga kuba khange ndihlale ndigxile kuwe njengoko wabelana ngenxalenye ebalulekileyo nexhalabisayo yosuku lwakho. Ukuthembela kolo xinzelelo lomsebenzi nokuzisa kum mhlawumbi kubenze abo babuthathaka iimvakalelo zibuya kwaye unethemba lokufumana intuthuzelo kum. Endaweni yoko ndiyekile ukumamela ndajonga umnxeba wam. Inokuba ubuziva ukhathazekile ngalamzuzu kwaye ubuza ukuba ubalulekile na kum. Kwaye ngoku awuziva ukhuselekile Yibani kunye ngokuhlwanje. Ngaba kunje? Uxolo, bendingenankathalo ukuyithatha lula le nto ubuyithetha. Okwenzekayo kumhla wakho kubalulekile kum. ”

Emva koko, omnye unokuthi, "Ewe, ndaziva ndidanile kwaye ndinexhala lokuba usuku lwam alubalulekanga kuwe kunokujonga isicatshulwa. Ndiyasifumana, nangona: Izandi zesaziso zinokunyanzela kwaye kulula ukuphazamiseka. Kwixesha elizayo ndinento ebalulekileyo endifuna ukukuxelela yona ndiza kuphakamisa ukuba sibeke iifowuni zethu cwaka ukuze silapha ngokwenyani. ”

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