Uthando namatyala

Uthando nomtshato kufuneka zihambisane njengehashe kunye nenqwelomoya. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa elinye (okanye zombini) ityala lomlingane lenza ukuba ukubopha iqhina kuve ngathi kukungena entolongweni yabanamatyala? Ngexesha apho uninzi lwabantu baseMelika luza kuhlala kunye neqabane lothando ebudeni bobomi babo babadala, ityala linokuququzelela inguqu ibe kukuhlala kunye kwaye kuthintele ukungena emtshatweni. Kungenxa yokuba ii-singles zanamhlanje ngokuya zijonga ukuhlawula amatyala azo njengokubaluleka komtshato. Iziphumo zephepha elisandula kupapashwa zibonisa ukuba ityala liye laba ngumqobo emtshatweni, ngakumbi phakathi kweminyaka eliwaka enetyala lemboleko yabafundi.

Thatha uRay noJulie, isibini esidliwano-ndlebe kwincwadi yethu yakutshanje, Isizwe sokuhlalisana. Bobabini kwi-30s yabo, bebehlala kunye kangangeminyaka esixhenxe ngexesha lodliwanondlebe, ebebezibandakanya nesihlanu. Kodwa ngelixa babezimisele ukutshata-ekugqibeleni-babengekaqokeleli zixhobo zokwenza njalo. Ebuzwa ukuba achaze, uJulie wabhengeza, “Siyonga, emva koko sineengxaki zemoto; emva koko sigcina, kwaye umntu othile ukwisofa yakhe eWisconsin, uyazi? Ke akukho nto [igcinwayo] engaze ibekho. Ihlala isetyenziswa ngandlela thile. ”

Ngelixa isizukulwana sangaphambili sasidla ngokutshata nangona sinamatyala, i-millennials inamatyala amaninzi kakhulu kunamaqabane angaphambili. Amakhadi etyala sele ekulula ukuwafumana, kwaye amatyala emali mboleko zekholeji anyuke kakhulu - iikholeji zikhuthaze abantu abancinci ukuba balandele idiploma kodwa batshintshela kwimali mboleko ngaphezulu kwezibonelelo, ngelixa ilizwe lisusa imali yemfundo ephezulu. Ukusukela nge-2018, ityala lomfundi lalinyukele kwi-1.5 yezigidi zeedola zase-US, ngokwephephancwadi iForbes. Isizukulwane sangoku sabantu abadala abancinci sijijisana nenqanaba lerekhodi lamatyala abafundi, "athatha indawo yamatyala obambiso lwekhaya njengeyona ndlela iphambili yamatyala okwakha ubutyebi." Kodwa ngelixa idigri yasekholejini icebisa ukuba umntu angatshata ngakumbi, ingxaki yamatyala abafundi yenza ukuba kufezekiswe iphupha laseMelika-umtshato, ukuqala usapho, ukuthenga ikhaya-kude kufikeleleke kwabaninzi.

Ngapha koko, izinto ezininzi ezifunekayo zomtshato zitshintshile. Phakathi kwabo bafika kwiminyaka yee-1980 nangaphambili, umtshato waphawula ukuqala kobomi besibini esitshatileyo kunye, uphawu lokuba bazimisele ukukrwela nokugcina njengeqela. Namhlanje, umtshato uhlala ulilitye lempumelelo, umisiwe de elinye okanye omabini amaqabane "awenze". Ityala lemfundo, nangona kunjalo, lithintela umtshato. Ukuhlawula ityala, nangona kunjalo, lixesha elide. Ityala leqabane elinye linokwenza amanye amabakala abantu abadala-njengokuthenga ikhaya okanye ukuba nomntwana-kubenzima kakhulu. Ukuhlawulwa kwemali mboleko yesikolo kufuneka kwenziwe nokuba iiyure zomsebenzi zincitshisiwe okanye emva kokubeleka, xa abasetyhini bengaphangeli (kwaye umvuzo, ngenxa yelizwe lethu linekhefu losapho elihlawulelweyo).

Ukucwangcisela umtshato yinto ebiza kakhulu. Umzekelo, iringi yokuzibandakanya emenyezelayo inokuqhubeka ukongeza kwiingxaki zemali zezibini eziselula. Umsesane ophakathi namhlanje, umzekelo, ubiza i-6,350 yeedola- iinyanga ezininzi zomvuzo kubo bonke kodwa oyena mntu uhlawulwe kakhulu (kwaye ukucebisa ngendandatho kuhlala kungumsebenzi wobudoda kunye nesini). UMartin, umhleli wencwadi esiye senza udliwanondlebe naye, wayeneminyaka engama-30 ubudala kwaye wayenemali engaphezu kweedola ezingama-30,000 kwimali-mboleko kwizidanga zakhe nakwisidanga senkosi. Yena noJessica babethetha ngokuganana, kodwa imeko yemali kaMartin ibibathintela ekuthatheni elo nyathelo. Echaza imiceli mngeni, wathi:

“Ngebhongo lam, andizukuthenga iringi eyi-10, 000, kodwa ndifuna ukuchitha phakathi kwe- $ 1,000 kunye ne- $ 2,000. Ke ibiphantse yangathi uza kuyizisa, ngathi 'Ngaba sisacinga ngale nto?' kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha bendicinga ngalo, kodwa andifumani nalinye lala maqhinga asemthethweni de ndide ndibenento ethile yemali, uyazi ukuba ndithetha ukuthini? Ngokukhawuleza ndawufumana umsebenzi wam ndicinge ngendlela endingaqala ngayo ukuhlawula onke amakhadi wam etyala kunye neemali mboleko zam zesikolo. Ndonga imali yam engama- $ 50 ngenyanga, ndaza ndafumana omnye umsebenzi. Ndisasebenza kwindawo ye-pizza, njengobusuku obunye ngeveki, kwaye ndagcina loo nto. Kwaye ke ndade ndakha isiqingatha sesangqa, loo ntlawulo ndayihlawula. Ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba ndinayo ndiye ndaphuma ndayokuthenga umsesane saze sathembisana. ” KuMartin, inkqubo yokuthenga iringi yokuzibandakanya yayiyeyona nto ibangela uxinzelelo. Ucacisile, "bendinexhala lokumthengela umsesane, kuba bendinexhala lokuba abahlobo bakhe bagweba, ngathi," Owu, ugcine unyaka yiyo yonke into onokuyifumana? ' Baninzi ke abo bantu banetyala. ”

Amaxhala malunga nolindelo olungelolokwenyani lweebling fancy lunokuthintela amaqabane ekuphumeni kombuzo.

Ukulindelwa kwemitshato kuye kwanda kakhulu. Xa abazali bakaMiller batshata kwii-1970s zakuqala, umtshato wabo wawubanjelwe kwigumbi elingaphantsi kwecawe kwaye esi sibini sonwabileyo sanika iindwendwe ikhekhe, i-punch, kunye neeamangile zeJordani. Batshatile bahlala epakini yelizwe. Namhlanje, iisayithi zomtshato zonke iindleko zomtshato ezingaphezulu kweedola ezingama-33,000; amaphephancwadi omtshato abanzi kunye nenyaniso yeenkqubo zikamabonwakude ziye zaphakamisa ibha kulindelo. Ithathiwe kunye, ukwanda kwezabelo zamatyala kudityaniswa nokulindelweyo kumnyhadala omkhulu kunokubangela ukuba imitshato ihle iye kude kumgama wabo bonke kodwa ibe yeyimpumelelo ngokwezemali.

Sicebisa ukuba izibini ezizinikezele omnye komnye kufuneka zibe nengxoxo malunga namatyala abo kunye nezemali. Incoko enjalo kufanele ukuba yenzeke kwabo bacinga ngokuganana. Akukho qabane lifuna ukothuka okungathandekiyo xa lifunda ukuba amaqabane-abo aza kuba netyala elingaphezulu kunelo lihlawulwa yimoto ephezulu emva kokuba bevumile ukutshata. Ukwazi ukuba bangakanani abantu abaye bahlawula amatyala, kunye nokuba amaqabane ajongana njani nokuhlawula amatyala abo, kunokubonelela ngolwazi olubalulekileyo malunga nokuba iqabane lakho oza kuyisingatha njani imicimbi yezemali. Olo lwazi lunokuxhobisa izibini njengoko zisebenza komnye wemiceli mngeni kubantu abatshatileyo abahlangana kunye - imicimbi yemali - ngaphambi kokubopha iqhina. Kwinqanaba elingaphezulu, abantu abancinci kufuneka kwakhona batyhale ingxaki yamatyala kwi-ajenda yoluntu, ngokuzibandakanya kwezopolitiko kunye nokuthatha inxaxheba, kunye nokuvakalisa iimfuno zokujongana nemicimbi yabo.

Umtshato awunguye wonke umntu (kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayenzi, ngokoluvo lwethu, kufuneka ubenjalo). Kodwa umntu unokwenza ntoni xa ityala lingena endleleni yosukelo lomtshato? Phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo ekwenziwe udliwanondlebe nabo babethembisene ngomtshato, bambalwa abebenemitshato echubekileyo eboniswe ekusasazeni iimagazini, kwaye uninzi lwabo aluzange luthenge amakhonkco amdaka afuna iinyanga ezintathu zokonga (okanye nangaphezulu). Baxoxe ngeendlela zabo zokunciphisa iindleko kunye nokonga ngokwaneleyo ukuba bathathe inyathelo elilandelayo, ezimbalwa zazo sichaza apha.

Elinye icebo apho uninzi lweekholeji zethu ezibandakanyekileyo kwizibini ezisebenzayo eziqeshiweyo yayikukuthatha imisebenzi yesibini, ngakumbi ukunceda ukuhlawulela imitshato yabo kunye neholide yabo. NjengoMartin okhankanywe apha ngasentla, uNathan noAndrea babesakha iqanda lendlwane. UNathan wachaza: “Ndiza kuthatha nje umsebenzi wokukhonza okanye wokuthengisa ibhola, ukwenza nje imali ethile esinokuthi siyibeke size siyongele intlawulo yendlu kwaye siyongele iindleko zomtshato,” ucacisile uNathan.

Bambalwa abantu abatshatileyo abakhankanye indlela amalungu osapho awayehlawula ngayo ezinye zeendleko zomtshato wabo, ezinjengeentyatyambo, ikeyiki, okanye ilokhwe yomtshato, njengesipho sabo. Xa bebuzwa ukuba bazihlawula njani iindleko zomtshato, uKevin uthe, “Ke, ndithetha ukuba ngabantu nje abavolontiya ukuhlawulela izinto. Ndifana nokuthi, 'Kulungile!' Abanye bakhetha umsitho olula kunye namalungu osapho kunye nabahlobo abambalwa. kulula kakhulu. ”

Ukhetho olunjalo alusoze lulula, ngakumbi kwinkcubeko ekhuthaza "imatrimania" okanye ukunyuka kokulindelwe kwimidlalo yomtshato ecekeceke ngokugqithisileyo. Kodwa kwixesha apho umvuzo uhlala ucwangcisiwe kubo bonke kodwa abo bakwindawo ephezulu kakhulu yengeniso, ukuya kwindawo yokuhlawula umtshato ayicetyiswa gwenxa. Ekupheleni kosuku, isibini esichitha i-40 yeedola emtshatweni waso sitshatile (kwaye sinokuba nomanyano ophumelele ngakumbi) njengalowo uchitha i-40,000 yeedola. Ngokubhekisele kumcimbi wetyala, endaweni yokugxeka abantu ngokulandela imfundo ephezulu, sikhuthaza indlela ethe kratya kule ngxaki, kwaye sicebisa ukuba abezopolitiko abakugqala ukubaluleka kwamaxabiso osapho mabajongane nengxaki yamatyala ejongene nabantu abatsha banamhlanje ukuba bafuna umtshato ukuhlala sisiseko soluntu lwethu. Ngaphandle koko, sinokubona abantu bembalwa bechaza phambi kwabahlobo kunye nosapho ukuzimisela kwabo ukuthatha umntu ukuba abe liqabane labo ngokusemthethweni "kulunge, kubi, kube sisityebi, kuhlwempu."