(Musa) Bamba ihlombe

Amagama athi "ego" kunye no "narcissist" bahlala becinga ngokufana. Ngelixa ikratshi kunye nokuzithemba kubalulekile kumntu ophilileyo ngokwasemphefumlweni, i-ego kakhulu inokuthintela kwaye inyamezeleke. Kutheni le nto ii-narcissists zingenazintloni kwiidrive yazo yokuqwalaselwa kwaye ngaba ikhona into esinokuyifunda kubo ngokuzingca?

Ukungenisa umoya wedwa kukodwa akumenzi umntu obhinqileyo. Inokuba luphawu olubonakalayo ngokulula lwe-narcissism, kodwa i-egotism egqithileyo yenye yeempawu ezininzi ezonakalisayo kunye nokuzenzela ezenza isifo esisemthethweni sokuxilongwa. I-Clinical narcissism, okanye i-narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), sisifo esingaqhelekanga; Iimpawu ze-narcissism, nangona kunjalo, azikho. I-Mayo Clinic (i-2017) ichaza abantu abane-NPD njengabaziva bengaphezulu kwabanye, benesidima sokuzibophelela, bezenza abanekratshi kwaye benekratshi ngelixa bejongela phantsi abanye, kwaye bebaxa impumelelo kunye neetalente zabo.

Ngo-2008, uphononongo lwesizwe lwamaMelika angama-35,000 lwafumanisa ukuba umntu om-1 kwabali-16 ujongane nomntu oziphethe kakubi (iTwenge & Campbell, 2009, eLyon, 2009). I-poll engenzululwazi kwimidiya yoluntu (Hochenberger, 2020) icele abasebenzisi ukuba bachaze i-narcissist's ego ngegama elinye. Iimpendulo zibandakanya: ubushushu; Uhlaselwe kakhulu; ukutyisa engenakusilela; isisombululo ukuzikhusela ubukhulu; isiqu sakho; kwaye iyadimaza. Uninzi lwezi zichazi, ezinje ngokuthamba nangokuzikhusela, zinokubhekisa kwimpendulo yomntu ozingcayo ongayifumaniyo indumiso nokulindelwa. Abo banama-egos anyusiweyo babonisa izakhono zokunxibelelana nabantu xa benomceli mngeni kwaye ngaloo ndlela bazikhusela ngokuchasene nokugxekwa (UHeatheron kunye neVohs, 2000). Umntu owenza iziyobisi umjonga njengogqibeleleyo nonobungangamsha; xa esongelwa, kufuneka akhusele ukuzithemba kwabo ekuziva bengaphantsi kwaye bengenanto (Afek, 2018).

Kukho apho umahluko ophambili phakathi komntu ongaphilanga ngokwasemphefumlweni kunye nokuba sempilweni. Xa umntu eziva enebhongo ngesiqu sakhe okanye ngempumelelo yakhe, akukho mfuneko yokuba baqhwatyelwe izandla okanye badunyiswe kwimeko-bume engaphandle. Iimvakalelo zempumelelo, ukufezekiswa, okanye uloyiso azithotyelwanga kukungabikho kwengqwalaselo. Ngokwahlukileyo, i-egomaniac kufuneka ibe nokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle. UFrancesca ngumama wababini osebenzela isidanga sebhatshela. Uchaza umyeni wakhe njengendoda "ebuyayo" efumana unyango kwaye ikhumbula isimilo sayo sangaphambili sokuzingca. Umyeni wakhe wayezakwenza izinto ngokukodwa ukungqinisisa kunye nokudumisa kwaye afune ukujongwa ngabantu bangaphandle. Uthi: “Ingqalelo yam yayingaseneli, wayefuna ingqalelo yamabhinqa okanye nabani na onokubonisa ukuzithemba kwakhe aze amjonge‘ njengommangaliso. ’”

Kwangokunjalo, uCarter uqhawule umtshato nenkosikazi yakhe yobundlobongela kodwa usenokujonga ngasemva kwaye abone ukuba yayimlutha kangakanani imfuno yakhe yokuqwalaselwa. "Ingqondo yakhe yempumelelo ivele 'ngokugqwesa' abanye; angazimisela ukuhambisana noJones, kodwa angabanqabele kwaye abagqwese. ” Umfazi wakhe owayesakuba ngumfazi kwafuneka abenakho konke okusemandleni nangona babengenakukufikelela: Kuya kufuneka bathengise ezimotweni zabo qho emva kweminyaka embalwa befumana imodeli entsha, ebiza kakhulu kwaye wayecwangcisa uhambo olucokisekileyo okanye athenge izipho ngaphandle kokubonisana noCarter . Ewe kunjalo, uphando ngoku lubonisa ukuba ii-narcissists zilulutho kuqoqosho: Ukuthenga kwabo kwenzelwe ukukhuthaza ukungafani kwabo kunye nokunambitheka kwabo ngaphandle kweakhawunti yabo yebhanki. Ukuziphatha kwabathengi kwee-egomaniacs kugxile ekwahlukeni ngokwabo nasekuqiniseni isazisi sabo (I-Shin kunye ne-Youn, 2019).

Umntu osempilweni ubeka iinjongo ezizizo zokufezekisa into yobuqu engakhange alindele- okanye afune-ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle. Iinjongo ezintle zinokugxila ekuqhubekeni nemfundo, ukuphucula impilo yomzimba okanye yengqondo, okanye ukumane ufunde umdlalo owuthandayo okanye umsebenzi. “Ndisebenzela i-Ph.D. Yam. Akukho namnye ngaphandle kwam, utshilo uTamzin, oneminyaka engama-35. Andiyenzi ngenjongo yokuziqhayisa. Kukuzalisekisa iphupha lam. Abanye abantu baye bathi ayimfuneko okanye ayinanjongo, kodwa andiyenzeli bona. ”

U-Elizabeth R. ngumphathi weakhawunti kunye nomama wesikolo esiphakamileyo. "Andinguye ofuna ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle okanye ukunconywa xa ndiphumeze into," utshilo. Ukwamkelwa kuyinto enkulu, u-Elizabeth uyavuma, kodwa “Ndizenzela izinto ukuze ndizive ndonwabile. Ndizibekele iinjongo kwaye ukuzifezekisa kukuqinisekiswa ngokwaneleyo. ”

Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ufunde okuthile kwincwadi yokudlala ye-narcissist? Ukuqhayisa ngento oyiphumezileyo akufuneki kulinganise ukunganyamezeli okanye ukuzingca. Xa uzalisekisa iphupha okanye ufeze injongo ephambili kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye isempilweni ukufuna ukubhiyozela nabanye. Umahluko phakathi kokubhiyozela ukonwaba kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwe-narcissist kukuthobeka. Ukuhlaselwa okanye ukuthotywa kwabanye abantu, ukubanga lonke ityala, okanye ukuphosa ifsy efanelekileyo xa ipati ingenkulu ngokwaneleyo ziindlela zomlilo eziqinisekileyo zokuwela umgca ukusuka kwi-ego ukuya kwi-egomaniac.

Umahluko obaluleke kakhulu ngumbulelo. UTamzin ukwazi ngokupheleleyo ukuzincama okwenziwa ngabanye ukuphucula impumelelo yakhe. “Abazali bam bayandinceda nabantwana bam ukuze ndibenexesha elizolileyo lamaphepha kunye nophando. Andinakwenza nto ngaphandle koncedo lwabo ”.

Ke, ngelixa kungekho mntu uthanda umntu oqhayisayo ekukhanyeni efuna ingqalelo, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokufuna-kunye nokufumana ukwamkelwa komsebenzi owenziwe kakuhle.

UHeatherton, TF, kunye neeVohs, KD (2000). Uvavanyo lwangaphakathi lulandela izoyikiso kuwe: Indima yokuzithemba. Ijenali yoBuntukunye neNzululwazi yezeNtlalo, 78(4), 725-736.

ILyon, L. (2009). Ubhubhane weNarcissism: kutheni kukho uninzi lwee-narcissists ngoku. Iindaba zase-US kunye neNgxelo yeHlabathi. Ukufunyanwa kwi-https: //health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2009/04/21/narcissism-epidemic-why-here-are-so-many-narcissists- ngoku

Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu bukaNarcissistic. (2017). Ikliniki yaseMayo. Ukufunyanwa kwi-https: //www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

I-Shin, H. kunye ne-Youn, N. (2019). Njani ukungazithembi ii-narcissists ziba zi-omnivores zenkcubeko: ukusebenzisa inkcubeko ephezulu yokufuna imeko kunye nenkcubeko ephantsi yokubonisa ukuthembeka. I-Psychology ye-Aesthetics, ubuGcisa, kunye noBugcisa. INGXELO: 10.1037 / aca0000303