Ngaba Imitshato Engalinganiyo yobudala ime kuvavanyo lwexesha?

Umxholo

• Zitshintsha njani ii-Age-Gap Romances eziTshintsha iminyaka
• Uqikelelo loluntu luchaphazela njani impumelelo yobudlelwane
• Eminye imitshato iya kuma ixesha elide

• Bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini baxela ekuqaleni ukuba banelisekile emtshatweni wabo xa abatshatileyo bebancinci, iingxelo zophando.
• Nangona izibini ezinesithuba seminyaka ziqale ukoneliseka, nangona kunjalo, ulwaneliseko lwabo luye lwehla kakhulu ngokuhamba kwexesha kunabantu abalinganayo.
• Iziphumo ezongezayo zokugweba ngokwasentlalweni zihlala zifunyanwa zizibini ezikwiminyaka yobudala, zidibene nemiceli mngeni yezempilo enokwehlela iqabane elidala, zinokuba negalelo koku kuhla.

Uninzi lwethu luyazi ukuba izibini ezonwabileyo zizalwe zizalwa zingamashumi eminyaka ngokwahlukeneyo. Nokuba leliphi na iqabane elidala, kubonakala ngathi bahambelana ngayo yonke indlela. Nangona kuyinyani ukuba abantu banotyekelo lokugweba kwangaphambili-i-gap yothando, kukho ubungqina bokuba amanye amabhinqa aselula akhetha nje amadoda amadala, kwaye amadoda amaninzi akhetha abafazi abadala ngokunjalo. Kodwa nokuba leliphi na iqabane elidala, ngaba ezo zinto zibini ziya kuma kuvavanyo lwexesha? Uphando luneempendulo ezithile.

Zitshintsha njani ii-Age-Gap Romances eziTshintsha iminyaka

U-Wang-Sheng Lee kunye no-Terra McKinnish (2018) baphande ukuba ubudala bezithuba buchaphazela njani ukwaneliseka ekuhambeni komtshato. Amadoda ayeneliseka ngakumbi ngabafazi abancinci, kwaye abafazi babeneliseka ngakumbi ngamadoda amancinci. Bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini banomdla wokungoneliseki ngabantu abatshatileyo abadala.

Ngokubhekisele kumanqanaba okuzalisekiswa kwithuba lomtshato, nangona kunjalo, u-Lee kunye noMcKinnish bafumanise ukuba ukoneliseka emtshatweni kuye kwehla ngokubaluleke ngakumbi kubo bobabini abesilisa nakwizibini ezineminyaka yobudala, xa kuthelekiswa nezibini ezineminyaka efanayo. Oku kwehla kuthambekele ekucimeni ukonyuka kwamanqanaba okwoneliseka emtshatweni afunyanwa ngamadoda nabafazi abatshate abantu abatshatileyo abasebatsha kwisithuba seminyaka emi-6 ukuya kweli-10 yomtshato.

Bayazivuma iziphumo zabo azingqinelani nophando malunga nokuhlelwa komtshato kunye nezithuba zeminyaka, kunye nedatha yokufunda ekwi-intanethi kunye nesantya-ebonisa ukuthanda amaqabane aneminyaka efanayo. Ukuxoxa ngezizathu ezinokubakho zokungangqinelani, u-Lee kunye noMcKinnish bayayamkela indima yesicwangciso kunye namathuba okuphumelela kobudlelwane, phakathi kwezinye izinto, kudlala kwisigqibo malunga nokuba ngubani oza kuthi ga ngoku.

Ngokukodwa, bayaqaphela ukuba idatha ecebisa ukuba amadoda nabafazi bathande amaqabane afanayo asebekhulile kukutolika okufanelekileyo ukuba ii-singles zingawuhoyi amathuba okuphumelela kobudlelwane. Kuba amadoda ekuqaleni efumana ukwaneliseka okuphezulu emtshatweni ngabafazi abancinci, kodwa abafazi bafumana ukwaneliseka okuncinci ngamadoda amadala, oku kuphakamisa ukuba amadoda anokukhetha ukulandela abasetyhini abancinci-kodwa ukoyika ukungaphumeleli (okt, ukuphoxa umfazi wabo wexesha elizayo) kubenza bakholelwe ukuba baya uphumelele "kumaqabane asemgangathweni asezantsi." Baqaphela ukuba ukuqiqa okufanayo kungachaza ukuthandabuza kwabasetyhini ukulandela imihla kunye namadoda aselula.

Yintoni enokubangela ukwehla kokoneliseka emtshatweni ukutyhubela iminyaka? U-Lee kunye noMcKinnish bacinga ukuba mhlawumbi izibini zeminyaka yobudala azikwazi ukujongana nezoqoqosho ezimbi xa kuthelekiswa nezibini ezikwiminyaka efanayo. Kodwa banokuba nako ukungakwazi ukujongana nesimo sengqondo esibi sabanye?

Uqikelelo loluntu luchaphazela njani impumelelo yobudlelwane

Abanye abantu abatshatileyo abaneminyaka yobudala bayazijonga malunga neembonakalo abazifumanayo kunye nezimvo abazivayo esidlangalaleni. Abantu abathandanayo okanye abasandul 'ukutshata abatshatileyo abancinci bahlala bexwayiswa ukuba ulwalamano lwabo alunakuhlala. Kutheni bephelelwe lithemba? Iingcebiso ezingamkelekanga, ezingafunekiyo zobudlelwane zihlala zivela kwidatha eveliswe ngokwesayensi nangokwe-anecdotally.

Inqaku kwi IAtlantic osihloko sithi "Ukutshata okungapheliyo, Zama Ukutshata Umntu Ongangowakho," [ii] ngelixa ejonga ngokuchanekileyo ukuba "Izibalo, ayisiyonto emiselweyo," ucaphule kuphando oluchaza ukuba izibini ezazineminyaka emihlanu ubudala ngeminyaka emihlanu zazingama-18 eepesenti amathuba okuba ahlukane, kwaye xa umahluko wobudala yayiyiminyaka eyi-10, amathuba anyuka aya kwiipesenti ezingama-39.

Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo abangavumelani kwaphela noqikelelo olubi kwaye bayazichasa izibalo. Uninzi lwabantu luyazi izibini ezingahambelani nobudala eziye zonwabela umtshato omkhulu amashumi eminyaka. Kodwa njengomcimbi osebenzayo, kamva ebomini, iqabane elidala kunokwenzeka ukuba lijongane nemiceli mngeni enxulumene nempilo phambi kweqabane eliselula-enokuba noxinzelelo kubo bobabini. Ngokucacileyo, ezo zibini ziyazi ukuba olu suku luza kufika, kodwa imozulu ngeli xesha lonyaka ngokwahlukileyo. Amava kwizibini ezitshatileyo ngeli xesha lobomi zinokuba nefuthe kwindlela esizijonga ngayo ezo zinto zidibeneyo.

Eminye imitshato iya kuma ixesha elide

Izibini ezininzi ezonwabileyo ezitshatileyo ezahlulwe ngumsantsa wobudala zikhumbuza abahlobo kunye nosapho abaneenjongo ezintle ukuba benze isifungo sokuthanda nokugcina amaqabane abo "de kusehlulwe kukufa." Amalungu enethiwekhi esempilweni ejikeleze ezo zibini kububulumko ukunikela ngenkxaso-ngaphandle kokucinga ngokungafaniyo.

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